FTM transman needs some help!

[Jfrank]

Hey everyone!! So I'm newly on hormones and I am in a bit of a dilemma. I have always been attracted to women, but it seems that lately the only thing that gets me off is watching a man (via porn) jerk off. Does this make me gay?? I have never had an attraction to men so I don't know what to do!

[Elis]

It's common for trans people; once they feel more comfortable about their body; to realise what gender they're actually attracted too. For me I couldn't imagine being with a guy until I realised I could be seen as one too and felt confident about my body on T.

Unless you're romantically and sexual attracted to men; you're not gay.  Your porn habits don't have any correlation to your sexuality.

[The Flying Lemur]

You're not the only person this has happened to.  Something similar happened to a friend of mine.  He used to consider himself straight, now he considers himself pan.  However, you're the only person who can decide which sexual orientation you identify with, so no one else can tell you if that orientation has changed.  Lots of straight people have homosexual fantasies that they don't act on, so you're not alone. 

[AgentVermont052]

This happened to me, but in the other direction (sort of...)

I originally came out as bisexual to the guy I was dating when I was in high school and living as a teenage girl. I was like "Hey I like girls and I think I might be bi." I'll save you the details but tl;dr of the story was he threatened me and if I was bi he'd do things he mentioned and dump me. So of course out of fear and delusions of attraction, I denied being bi for 6 years.

Finally around 2015 I was reading up on LGBT words I had just read about and saw pansexual. And like 6 years of denial went out the window. I am attracted to someone regardless of their identity. Over the next year I also explored my gender identity and as I started coming out as a NB trans person (masculine presenting) I felt more attracted to trans men just because they understood what I was going through.

Then around the end of 2016 I began identifying as Grey Asexual as well and realized I still felt attracted to women and female identifying/presenting individuals.

Bi/Pan people can  have preferences too though! I have a friend and she is bisexual but prefers female partners. Sometimes a bi/pan man can prefer men but still be bi/pan! Personally I have no preferences, but now have a major crush on my best friend (who is my biggest supporter and is also bisexual) and I wanna tell her how I feel but she lives on the other side of the country unfortunately.

Basically as you explore and realize yourself and how you identify, sexuality can change and that is totally okay <3

[Kylo]

You might just be identifying with the guy.

If you want to know the answer ask yourself is it the guy himself you're attracted to, or just the fact he's getting off the way guys do.

[Denise]

You might just be identifying with the guy.

If you want to know the answer ask yourself is it the guy himself you're attracted to, or just the fact he's getting off the way guys do.

I agree with Kylo. It might be that you are thinking "that's me". 

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

[Jacqueline]

Hey everyone!! So I'm newly on hormones and I am in a bit of a dilemma. I have always been attracted to women, but it seems that lately the only thing that gets me off is watching a man (via porn) jerk off. Does this make me gay?? I have never had an attraction to men so I don't know what to do!

Jfrank,

I have little to add to what most of these folks have mentioned. I would agree that many people shift after starting HRT, it may well have to do with feeling more comfortable.

I also want to welcome you to the site. I have some links that will help you with starting info and rules.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

[Jfrank]

Thanks to everyone for their guidance and advice. I think I really relate to the idea of "that's me." I am not emotionally or physically attracted to men, but I do enjoy imagining that it's me in the videos.

Thanks again to everyone. I really appreciate the advice.

[KarlMars]

Maybe you fantasize about being him and aren't necessarily attracted to him?

[PurpleWolf]

Thanks to everyone for their guidance and advice. I think I really relate to the idea of "that's me." I am not emotionally or physically attracted to men, but I do enjoy imagining that it's me in the videos.

Thanks again to everyone. I really appreciate the advice.

I agree with others... Just helped someone with a similar issue on another forum!

1) Once you become more comfortable with yourself & your body (like on HRT) you can suddenly imagine doing things you never thought you could do! Even sexually-wise.

2) Or... it's very likely you just identify with the guy. I sometimes watch gay porn myself and anything dick-related (coz I don't have one!) and I especially like to watch vids of guys who in some way resemble 'me'. I'm not attracted to men nor masculinity.

= either way, YOU ARE NORMAL!!!

And nothing 'makes' someone gay!!! Especially not your porn habits or fantasies or dreams. Only if you are actually attracted to men in real life in some form, you can explore this further or maybe start to consider yourself a bit gay, bi, pan or whatever. Identifying with a word does not make anyone anything. You can choose to identify or not identify as anything. Watching some random vid most definitely won't 'make' you gay though!!! Even straight people watch gay vids sometimes so...