Do you pass or not?

[MissyMay2.0]

I pass in every aspect. What I never got is why so many trans girl use there guy voice. It usually the biggest give away. It took me a month of self teaching to be proficient at speaking just like every other girl and even then I have about 3 ranges of girl voice I can use. Good example think of my Little pony I can proficiently sound like apple Jack more masculine but still femine country girl. Flutter shy timid low and high and rainbow dash femine in nature but use a more gender neutral way of speaking. in any of these voice I pass as female no problem.

If this is the case, what was the point of posting your picture in the "do I pass" thread?

[Colleen_definitely]

Attention

But anyway back to Em's musings, I definitely agree that passing is very much a multifaceted thing. Outside of things like a beard it's certainly the sum of many parts that will make or break you.

[big kim]

I look OK but despite many lessons I have a Lemmy voice (was a smoker for 17 years). A husky voice is considered sexy in a woman but something to laugh at with a T girl! Never worked that one out!

[roseyfox]

If this is the case, what was the point of posting your picture in the "do I pass" thread?

Because trans girl tend to be more honest than the general public cause there not afraid to offend you for one. An just because I feel I pass does not mean others think I do. An three I was giving an updated photo in that fourm cause it been more than  a year and a half since I last asked. An the last time I asked I still looked like a dude in a skirt in the most honest way I can put it.

Though I shouldn't have to be ask why I do what I do. There is your list of reasons. Now that you have called me out for whatever your reason was I hope you are satisfied. An if you have any future comment or questions like this you should pm a person instead of asking in a public forum. Because the tone of your text at least to me comes off as agressive.

[Karen_A]

Because trans girl tend to be more honest than the general public cause there not afraid to offend you for one.

Actually that tends not to be true... In general we all know how much it means and don't want to hurt someone...

That said. from your picture, I would have died to look like you! (thought dying would kind of defeat the purpose of passing! )

Seriously even with full FFS from Dr. O, I never looked that good!

- Karen

[Brenda80]

Have not been misgendered since 10years ago.
Few issues noticed is often the mannerism, yes while most tgirls generally pass ok in looks but the behaviour often protraits too overly feminine/dramatic in some sense. That often creates second look for others which possibly gives others a chance to out one. Just follow the norm as what women behave and blend in.

[Azurite92]

I'd like to believe I pass because I haven't been misgendered by people who do not know about my past. My old friends however and those who knew me before coming out as a girl still misgenders me and it's hard to have an old friend work in the same company as you and she misgenders me (she's still struggling and I'm very patient with her) and the rest of my colleagues would get confused and would start to dig on my past though.  But overall, I already have a feminine physique and my voice is feminine too. But for my standards I still have those features that I find masculine so in a way I don't pass as seen by me, but I'm just being too uptight?  Everytime I ask my friends if I look feminine enough, they had no trouble saying yes. 

[RabbitSpectre]

Have not been misgendered since 10years ago.
Few issues noticed is often the mannerism, yes while most tgirls generally pass ok in looks but the behaviour often protraits too overly feminine/dramatic in some sense. That often creates second look for others which possibly gives others a chance to out one. Just follow the norm as what women behave and blend in.

Yes, I pass.

There's always that weird but beautiful and magical moment where people sometimes start noticing you more, and you get scared everyone is seeing you as the opposite gender somehow, but in reality, they just think you're attractive. That happened to me and I was freaked at first, like "I'm more of my real gender physically than ever. Why are they looking at me like that? I never got looks like that before when I was less passable" Then I realized when I wasn't too scared to look towards them, and got a few smiles, that it wasn't a "Wow, what gender are they?" look, it was a "Wow, who is that, they're kinda cute!" look. ^_^

I wish and hope that moment for everyone here, if it hasn't happened for you yet! (Hopefully from whatever genders and in-between you're attracted to, and not creepers )

[Ro]

Actually that tends not to be true... In general we all know how much it means and don't want to hurt someone...

unfortunately

most good people in general won't be honest when you ask, which is why my friends assure me I totally pass but strangers' reactions are split

I think I'm probably androgynous overall and I recently cut my hair a bit above the shoulders and one of the bigger cues with it, which on the one hand feels kinda bad because now "he" shows up more often but on the other hand I can be more confident the "she"s are genuine and not, y'know, nice people realizing what's up

[Michelle_P]

I got the old acid test the other day.   There was a meetup of some trans women in the area in a local restaurant.  I entered, the hostess looked at me, smiling, and said "Your group is meeting over there", pointing to an isolated area of the restaurant.

Yes, instantly clocked.  *SIGH*

[Northern Star Girl]

I got the old acid test the other day.   There was a meetup of some trans women in the area in a local restaurant.  I entered, the hostess looked at me, smiling, and said "Your group is meeting over there", pointing to an isolated area of the restaurant.

Yes, instantly clocked.  *SIGH*

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
I am so sorry that you had to experience that...  if there were others ahead of you or whoever made the reservation may have mentioned that it was a "trans" meeting? 
 
Hey girl, fighting prejudices like that is not something that is new to you...
... be strong, continue on, and always learn from mistakes made.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle

[Donica]

I have to admit I have had several doors held open for me, waited for me to leave the elevator first or go through the door first and many smiles but I have yet to be called ma'am and still get the "sir" pronoun while in a dress and full makeup. But most of the time they don't use pronouns at all, perhaps out of fear of offending me or losing a job or just being polite.

No, I do not pass well enough. I understand there will always be times when I will be misgendered but right now, I think I still look too muck like a dude in a dress. Maybe in two years?

[Kendra]

> I understand there will always be times when I will be misgendered

I'm gonna disagree .  Given enough time, things change and we change.  HRT, practice with voice, and various surgeries (if that's an option) can greatly help but one of the most important things can't be purchased and requires time: the way we carry ourselves and think about ourselves.  I have been surprised how much people subconsciously notice the way we perceive ourselves and that tends to override so much else. 

[Devlyn]

Funny story. On Halloween I opened the door for one group of kids and they all yelled "Trick or treat!" immediately followed by one kid saying "Are you a girl or a boy?"

I smiled, offered the bowl of candy and said "I'm not sure." The kid points at me and says "You're a boy!"

After they left Megan and I had a huge laugh on the couch. 

[Viktor_01]

I'm FTM, pre-T, and I don't pass. Once or twice every few months someone does use male pronouns though, and it really makes my day.

[sophie1904]

I seem to pass reasonably well - in that, I get gendered female in airports consistently despite doing my best to present male as my passport hasn't been updated.

Flying out of Seattle on Wednesday and through the body scanners (you know the drill) - m'am - can you step on this square, turn around, look at the screen, yellow box on the crotch.

"Do you have anything in your pockets m'am" -> "No, that will be my penis, should we try it again as male?" - Say it with a smile and it was done and dusted pretty quickly.

I'll emphasize - I was *trying* to present male

[emma-f]

I seem to pass reasonably well - in that, I get gendered female in airports consistently despite doing my best to present male as my passport hasn't been updated.

Flying out of Seattle on Wednesday and through the body scanners (you know the drill) - m'am - can you step on this square, turn around, look at the screen, yellow box on the crotch.

"Do you have anything in your pockets m'am" -> "No, that will be my penis, should we try it again as male?" - Say it with a smile and it was done and dusted pretty quickly.

I'll emphasize - I was *trying* to present male

Below is what I posted earlier this year. So funny that we basically had the same experience, right down to the "that'll be my penis comment".  Made me laugh so much that someone else had the same thing!

"Anyway, here's mine.

I was flying from the UK to the Far East on Etihad. My passport is male and as I was flying via Abu Dhabi I thought I'd better go as male as I could. Clearly I failed, as I was ma'am'd all the way through, including on the plane (and I had a business class upgrade, so they were surely aware of my gender from the manifest, but still).

Anyway, I'm passing through security and with the new body scanners apparently they have a pink or blue button as to whether the person going through is male or female, so it can scan the body for anomalies. I go through and it beeps. The security guard says to me "excuse me ma'am, the scanner shows a suspicious package in your underwear" and I replied, without thinking (and in as manly a voice as I could muster) "yes, that'd be my penis". I don't think anyone has ever looked quite as unsure of what to do as the poor security guard, but anyway he just ushered me back to my hand luggage and I was on my way (without any search for the suspicious package).

And now, whenever it comes up in any conversation, my penis is now known as my "suspicious package". Always makes me chuckle when I think of it."

[Brenda80]

I guess subconsciously there is always this insecurities that plays around in our minds. Confidence comes with how much responses you get from people around you. Sometimes a single negative comment can spoilt your while day.
I do understand how conscious I am about people observations about myself generally and sometimes too much to a point where my little mind start to imagine things. Habitual reading of other people's thoughts generally is quite challenging especially if its between that narrow line between beautiful or misgendered in that sense.

[HappyMoni]

Emma, love the 'suspicious package.' Well, the comment, that is!

I have no idea how well I pass. I do occasionally get, when out eating with my partner, "Do you ladies want separate checks?" I figure that is a big 'yes' on that occasion. Then there are times when, perhaps the voice is in play, and I work with someone new, and they look like a deer in the headlights. Like the deer on the road, I try not to run them over. Can't say I'm not tempted.

Hope @Laurie  is properly caring for my suspicious package. Hi Girl!

[Donica]

Oh Moni! I wouldn't want that thing hanging around. After all, you didn't want it hanging around either. I'm betting Laurie threw it out years ago. I hope you weren't too attached to it?

Donica.