Dating as an Extremely Short Trans Guy

[loren1]

Hey guys,

So I've just been curious about this lately and was wondering if anyone could share their experiences. So I've been on T for 1.5 years and passing completely every since a year on T. Before medically transitioning, I didn't really have issues dating. But naturally during transitioning and not passing at all as male I hadn't prioritized dating that much so I didn't do too much of that, but now that I pass completely and I'm confident now, I feel like I want to focus more on dating.

The only major problem here is that I'm 4'11" and I'm straight. My whole family is super short, so genetics didn't work out for me. I think if I were cis I'd only be like 5 ft anyway. I don't let my height affect my life too much, I'm pretty confident, I don't hate that I'm short, I don't even think about it much and no one else in my life really cares either. And otherwise, I do bodybuilding so I don't come off as tiny or anything. I dress well, I've been told I'm above average looking. People tell me I'm funny all the time, etc. But because of the fact that I'm disturbingly short, no women are interested in me ever, and I'm concerned I will remain alone for the rest of my life, so I'm not sure what to do. That, coupled with the fact that I'm trans makes it even worse to women. Have any very short trans guys had luck dating women?

[Peep]

I'm not dating women, but I know that the idea that being tall/er than you is desirable to women isn't a universal fact

also there are short women out there too

[SonadoraXVX]

Not sure if this is directly relatable, but my aunt was 6'1" and my uncle was 5'4', and all their kids came out average height. My point, pretty sure someone out in the world will oversee that and judge you for your personality, especially if your good looking. My uncle was witty, dark complected(short, dark eyes, black hair), and he got along super well with my aunt(who was blonde, statuesque and hazel eyes/bombshell), one of the better relationships my extended family had, so. No need to feel down, your other half will meet you half way, sooner or later.

My 2 cents...

[Pao]

I am 5'2. I have huge self confidence issues with my height. I am the shortest in my family, even my mom is 5'7. I am pansexual, so I date everyone. I get really worried sometimes about how dating will be post transition.

That being said I am happily married to a cismale who does t give a flip about my hieght, and thinks it is silly for me to be worried about it. We are in an open marriage so dating is still sorta a thing.

[invisiblemonsters]

i'm 5'2" and i'm straight. i've only ever actually dated women taller (5'7"+) and haven't had any issues tbh. most women don't care. i know some women like them taller, especially if they are on the taller side (i know this tends to be an insecurity of tall women..their height, thinking guys don't want them too and only want short petite women) but that doesn't rule out everyone. i've had short women say they like taller guys because short guys are super insecure about their height. the only people who usually mention my height is other guys trying to bust my balls about it.

[Kylo]

Some women definitely have a strict thing for tall in which case rule those out, but if your personality is the draw, try more social settings or activities where you'll get to know people as a part of the deal. I know plenty of cis guys shorter than me and none of them are unattached. But they are all fairly gregarious, I suspect meeting lots of people in normal social situations is what lets people see their other qualities. I tend to stick with guys so I haven't got any specific advice but I do know personality is often just as important to women, especially those looking for something serious.

[AquaWhatever]

Most girls in my experience at least wanted a guy who was not
necessarily tall, but rather taller than them.
I also know guys cis and trans pulling women taller than them.

I don't think it's just the fact short guys are short that scares women away,
But a lot of them tend to not have any confidence OR they compensate their height
by being extremely rude or arrogant.   

My ex friend "Cody" was somewhat like this.
He wore his insecurities like a sweater almost and was a huge jerk because of them.

straight women like guys with confidence and the feeling of protection.
That's the deal breaker with most.

[Brandon]

I use to be very insecure about my height, I am about 5'4, 5'5, I found that women love confidence, no matter how short I am my confidence is what wins women over and I have had girls that are way taller than me interested in me, I am telling you, confidence is key.

[meatwagon]

on top of what everyone else has said about confidence, might as well note that some women do find short guys attractive or just not care about height, so you don't have to go in thinking it's purely for your personality/that she's not into your looks when you do meet someone.