Change of attitude of forum members

[warlockmaker]

I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?

[fleurgirl]

I am new to this forum so I'm not sure if I can really comment on this, but everyone so far has been perfectly helpful to me. I'm not sure, we they even more helpful before? I don't know. But I doubt it is your imagination. Trans has become a more global topic, but that isn't always a bad thing (not saying that you said it was). I, personally, am here for everyone, and I always have an open mind to new things!

- Fleur

[Northern Star Girl]

I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?

@ warlockmaker:  Compared to you I have only been here for a short time but in that time I have seen several topics locked and also have seen some nasty posting exchanges between a few members....   
.... yes, it is sad to see BUT wherever you go there will be some folks that seemingly try to ruin it for the majority....   and I don't let that affect how I feel about the Susan's Place forums.  For the most part I find members here that are helpful, kind, friendly and ready to offer their suggestions and share their transitioning experiences... and also they will listen to suggestions as well.

I like this place, it is a Friendly and Safe place for any of us that are transitioning or have transitioned.
Please don't let a few instances of witnessing bad attitudes and locked threads ruin this nice place for you. 

Actually I am very, very thankful for the good job that the MODERATORS and the ADMINISTRATIVE Staff do to keep this place the nice friendly and safe place that it is. 
Best wishes to you.
Aspiringperson

[warlockmaker]

Was and still is the best forum for TGs seeking guidance, help or just a place to vent. The strict monitoring does prevent some very agressive and abusive comments on contraversial threads. Unfortunately,I have been involved in some of these threads and always regret my comments later. Maybe the percentage of not so nice people has not changed, just the population comming out has grown, and all thise pent up feelings. I hope we can unite and provide a strong political force for equal rights.

[steph2.0]

I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?

It depends on what you call long-time, I guess. I started visiting here in earnest early in 2017, though I'd dropped in occasionally for years. I finally created an account last July.

When I told my therapist that I'd gotten active in an online forum, she strongly cautioned me about some of the horrible things that could happen and the prevailing negativity that abounded in such places. I tried to reassure her that Susan's was different - that though being open for anyone it was a warm safe place to be, mostly due to the fine staff here who tolerate no shenanigans.

I do occasionally see tempers flare and personalities clash, and when I run across such negativity I just stop reading that topic. The vast majority of people here are tolerant and respectful, and most of all, helpful. The things I've learned and the support I've received here have been instrumental in getting me where I am today, and Susan's has largely displaced my need for my therapist. Despite the flaws, I think it's the best place on the internet for us all.


- Stephanie

[Mariah]

Not everyone has those same aspirations though and it is important to remember that. I can understand what you want and that is fantastic for all, however others just want to live their lives and leave this part of their life behind without having to be defined by it. I have chances to get involved in those ways and for my own safety I choose not to considering my safety is more important than making progress for everyone at this point. Until things improve in this and other countries I will remain on the sidelines for my own safety. I rather blend in and just live than advocate at this time. Just my two cents. Hugs
Mariah

Was and still is the best forum for TGs seeking guidance, help or just a place to vent. The strict monitoring does prevent some very agressive and abusive comments on contraversial threads. Unfortunately,I have been involved in some of these threads and always regret my comments later. Maybe the percentage of not so nice people has not changed, just the population comming out has grown, and all thise pent up feelings. I hope we can unite and provide a strong political force for equal rights.

[FinallyMichelle]

I have only been here a little more than 4 years, from what I have seen it's about the same. I think the moderators now are doing a great job. Not that they didn't then, but they are really on top of things now and the issues don't reach the boiling point like they did before. Or not as often anyway.

Lol, there have been some serious arguments here over the years. Times where I got frustrated and left for a while, but there is nothing like this out there anywhere. I think that it is as good as ever, if not better.

[Margaret_B]

I have been lurking here for  some time as a visitor and guest since the late 90's. This has been the best place to find information for me. I have noticed some change in attitudes. I think as people become more open and opinionated some view will clash. I am not closed about being transgender, nor am I 100% open about it. If asked in a civil manner I will engage people. Being asked has happened to a much lesser degree since starting HRT (the first 6 months sucked).
I agree with the moderation as this is a private board and there are rules. There are plenty of groups on facebook where barbs, arrows, hurtful comments  and other such things can be exchanged. I am 100% for free speech no matter what it is in a public forum, this is not a public forum and there are rules. 
I do not attend my local transgender support meetings as "My Kind" is not welcome there. I am pretty fiscally conservative, I lean right on a lot of issues, however, I am 100% of the mind set if what you are doing hurts no one else then go for it. Like I tell people your rights end at the tip of my nose.
Never do I want to tell others how they need to live and what is best for them, beyond if I am hired to consult for real estate investment and or acquisition. Live and let live, life is so much easier that way.
- Margaret

[Allison S]

I can only control what I do and not others. So I don't let nonsense bother me. Still I'm very opinionated, especially in person I'm assertive at times. I don't think I step on anyones toes, I may have given some feedback that comes from my (sometimes limited) viewpoint.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Bari Jo]

I've been a lurker off and on for a long time.  I've only been an active member for about a year.  I've seen the best and the worst of people.  When I see the worst, it reminds me of high school or low level sniping you might see on a gaming forum.  In those places you expect that kind of antagonism.  Here I don't expect it, especially when people are baring their soul and are in pain.  I'm glad there are rules and it's moderated here.  I do not think it's any worse now than before just new people and as usual some are let's say obnoxious.  I try to not get involved in any of their threads.

Bari Jo

[echo7]

I think it's more a symptom of today's western society as a whole, rather than something that's specific to the transgender community.  For example, 10 or even 5 years ago, people from different political parties could have a nice, civilized discussion about policy.  Now it's all about loyalty to your tribe, uncompromising attitudes to any viewpoints other than your own, and polarizing figures on each side.

Not that long ago, we used to have to get to know and befriend our neighbors across the street, which forced us to see other people as human beings regardless of their background and viewpoints.  Now we can all just stay inside our homes, seek out, and interact only with other people who fully agree with us (thanks to the internet and especially social media).  When all we hear are voices similar to our own, anyone that disagrees with us can easily be made to be seen as the enemy.

That's what's happening in the western world, and that culture of divisiveness and polarization is seeping into every aspect of our lives, including the transgender community.

[kitchentablepotpourri]

I think it's about the same as it was when I deactived my account a few months ago; I noticed that some of the members that were here when I left, are either inactive or have deactivated their accounts; and there are new members of course so the dynamics have changed a bit during the last few months, as there seems to be some new clicks that have formed, but the Socs' and the Greasers seem to come to some sort of an agreement, so things are looking up!

[stephaniec]

it would be nice if the very few didn't force topics to be shut down there are a lot of important discussions that can be had

[AnonyMs]

I'm not sure what has changed, but I know I have. I've become somewhat disengaged from things. Partly it's because I've more experience now and there's less new things to interest me, and I don't like repetition. I think I've grown a bit less tolerant to things I don't like and perhaps that makes it more visible to me.

I've seen more tolerance in some ways, a more positive attitude. The ones I really notice are about informed consent for hrt and even more taking non-standard paths for surgery. I used to get really involved in discussions about that and I've not seen it come up in a long time. I think Warlockmakers post about SRS with no RLE may have been quite influential in changing the general view on that.

[Lucy Ross]

I mostly read old threads here rather than participate much, one thing I notice is that people just seem a bit more verbose in general now.  There seem to be more monster threads documenting peoples' journeys.  Some of those old discussions have a bit of snipping too, and I don't read every new thread here by a long shot but all told this place is pretty civil as discussion boards go, the TS forum on crossdressers.com or r/asktransgender on ->-bleeped-<- seem a lot more hostile.  I asked someone at a support group about ->-bleeped-<- and they flipped out, you can't really post outside of the TG community without someone reading your posts and starting up with the transphobia, so nix that, unless you have two accounts going.  So many of the posters at cd.com seemed really testy, or transier-than-thou.  I'm on a couple of FB groups but the layout of things there really annoys me.  I have two accounts there and it keeps asking Lucy if she wants to be friends with Kevin's friends...and apparently our friends can see this other person, which is a rather alarming security breach, the byproduct of using the same phone # for both accounts. 

So, I'm a susans.org fan.  Has this site really been going since the 90s?  Damn! 

[Susan]

Non-stop since late 1995. Got the susans.org domain in 1996.    We have no plans on going anywhere!

Anyone other than me remember the old compu.net/ts site that existed pre-susans.org? Was the same site but before the domain. Boo the wayback machine doesn't have it in their archive... 

[Susan Baum]

Non-stop since late 1995. Got the susans.org domain in 1996.    We have no plans on going anywhere!

Anyone other than me remember the old compu.net/ts site that existed pre-susans.org? Was the same site but before the domain. Boo the wayback machine doesn't have it in their archive...

Earlier this year I retuned to this forum after yet another hospital stay - I had strayed from here for a while because of some physical health concerns - and have to say it was like coming home. 

I (and feel I can speak for most of us) owe you a huge debt of gratitude for starting this site and keeping it moving through thick and thin. While I do agree that sometimes anyone can go overboard, you and the moderators do a phenomenal job of keeping conversations civil.

Susan

[Kylo]

This forum is remarkably free of trolls and people who sign up simply to cause trouble. On a forum of this size, I would have expected a lot of it. There is almost none.

As for the sniping, I don't see much of it on the open boards. I do tend to get lovely PMs from several members here since they would rather send me expletives and accusations than have civilized discussions in the open, but that's hardly a problem for me. It amuses rather than bothers me.   

On ideological topics, yes, there seem to be lots of people incapable of backing up their assertions and storming out of discussions, but that's a symptom of the way things are going in general I suppose. Tribalism, ideology and virtue signalling seems to come before rational debate these days for many people. Frankly I feel it's the reason we have so many social problems as is. A lot of emphasis on feelings and being offended, not enough on tackling the topics that need to be addressed. No reflection on the moderators or admins of course, that's not their fault.

[Northern Star Girl]

If one thinks that there is a lot of sniping and bad vibes going on here, then they should get on some of the other sites like OKCupid, POF, Facebook, etc, etc....  in many of those other sites there are constant, I mean constant flame wars, cliques, and members ganging up on other members, etc.... and an intolerant attitude in many of their postings.

As I had stated in my previous comment near the beginning of this thread, like so many others, I find that Susan's is a safe and friendly place for transgenders and others like minded individuals.

Wherever we go in life there will always be those that do their best to ruin things for the majority.  I will leave it to Susan's terrific MODERATORS and ADMINISTRATORS to continue doing the wonderful job they are doing to keep this place safe, friendly and a nice place for us to be to exchange and share our ideas, suggestions and information regarding our life's transitioning journey.
Aspiringperson

[Cassi]

While my jibbing may seem a little odd at times, it's never intended to be an insult and just my weird humor.  If I should ever every insult someone unintentionally I apologize.

Of course, the exception would be all the super beautiful ladies here that drive me crazy with envy.