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I got sir'd last night.

Started by Angélique LaCava, March 16, 2018, 10:30:41 AM

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Daisy Jane

#20
March 16, 2018, 10:31:31 PM
Quote from: Dena on March 16, 2018, 07:51:51 PM
There are other reasons this could have happened. Military members sometimes are so used to addressing everybody as sir, they do it out of habit.

This totally happens. I used to work with a retired military guy. Whenever he made a mistake and got flustered he would say "As you were" and a couple of times he shouted, "Stand down!"
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Deborah

#21
March 16, 2018, 11:06:01 PM
Quote from: Dena on March 16, 2018, 07:51:51 PM
There are other reasons this could have happened. Military members sometimes are so used to addressing everybody as sir, they do it out of habit.
We do call female officers Ma'am.  One time though I was talking to a Major I just met and I couldn't tell if they were male or female.  The haircut was short (but borderline) and the voice was in between.  In fatigues everyone's body is hidden.  So I said sir and then began doubting myself.  Then I said ma'am with the next sentence.  The other person never reacted differently either way.  Later on that day I learned that they were in fact female.



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Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being....  - Dan Barker

U.S. Army Retired
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GwenFTW

#22
March 17, 2018, 01:56:40 AM
Quote from: Dena on March 16, 2018, 07:51:51 PM
There are other reasons this could have happened. Military members sometimes are so used to addressing everybody as sir, they do it out of habit. It's possible to be distracted and forget who you are currently dealing with. It's possible not to be aware of the correct terms to use and last but not least, there is always the good old fashion brain fart. Sometimes it's best to just let it slide but if you decide to discuss it, keep the discussion civil giving him the benefit of the doubt until you know differently.

+1
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Dani

#23
March 17, 2018, 08:45:06 AM
Quote from: Daisy Jane on March 16, 2018, 10:31:31 PM
This totally happens. I used to work with a retired military guy. Whenever he made a mistake and got flustered he would say "As you were" and a couple of times he shouted, "Stand down!"

And when the military wants everyone to stop talking, they say "at ease" instead of "shut up".  :laugh:

Military language is a culture all it's own and many civilians do not fully appreciate this.
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Sophia Sage

#24
March 17, 2018, 10:01:33 AM
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 16, 2018, 02:45:57 PMbut if it was something about me wouldn't my husband have told me? I mean my husband said if I looked anything like a transgender he wouldn't want to be seen with me and he wouldn't have dated me in the first place.

It still depends on angle of perception, lighting, silhouette.  Your husband probably didn't meet you under the same circumstances, so he might not be able to give you accurate feedback, probably isn't even willing to try to see what might have led to your being misgendered.  He's as invested in your gendering as you are.

If your voice is good, though, you can always correct someone else's mistake.  "Excuse me?" -- not in a sarcastic way, but expressing genuine confusion.  Get the person's attention, have them see and hear you... and then you get into reverse-clocking mode.  "Oh, I'm sorry," they say, or something to that effect.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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Cassi

#25
March 17, 2018, 10:34:33 PM
Sounds like Sage advice to me :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Cassi

#26
March 17, 2018, 10:35:34 PM
Quote from: Dani on March 17, 2018, 08:45:06 AM
And when the military wants everyone to stop talking, they say "at ease" instead of "shut up".  :laugh:

Military language is a culture all it's own and many civilians do not fully appreciate this.

Nor the humor!
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Julia1996

#27
March 18, 2018, 07:04:19 AM
Quote from: Cassi on March 17, 2018, 10:35:34 PM
Nor the humor!

Ugh...that's for sure! When someone mixes military humor with their dad humor its just....sad. Lol
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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yayo

#28
March 18, 2018, 11:07:44 AM
I don't know if it's helpful OR productive to construct a narrative around the situation. I don't know who came up with military, but that seems unlikely. You ever hear the saying that the obvious answer is usually the right one?

She's a transgender woman who was called "sir." The obvious answer is usually the right one. Looking at her, there's no way he didn't know she identified as female. So he probably said it to be a jerk. Judging by all her "y'alls" I'd say she lives in the South.

I can say that living in the South was BRUTAL on my early transition. We all go through our phases and have our off days. For me it used to be one minute a guy would say I was the hottest girl he'd ever seen...than I'd here "are you a guy?"

I feel as though FFS has already dramatically improved my overall presentation...so Angelique, it may be better to look into that. But please don't bury your head in the sand. It makes things WORSE emotionally when it becomes impossible to make excuses and it makes you less vigilant—which can be dangerousz
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