How to move out? Not sure what my next step should be.

[Blucatt]

So here I am on this site again . I came here a few times almost 4 years ago, in order to get help with family issues and everything when I first came out. Things were a lot different back then and I needed help with a lot of different things.

Now I still need help though. I'm a MtF trans girl that wants to transition and move on with my life, but I'm unable to because of the financial/household situation I'm in. Currently, I live at home with my twin brother and my mom. My dad was here, but he left in December. But the main thing in my life that has been causing a lot of trouble is my mom. She's abusive, narcissistic, manipulative, and worst of all, very, very transphobic. She's been a big cause of my depression and anxiety over the years, and if it weren't for her, I would've already started transitioning by now.

I've been trying to escape her grasp for years now. I was unable to for the longest while because of my age. When I first posted here I was 15, I believe, and my mom and my dad were still together and things were a lot different. Now I'm 19, have a job, and am thinking of a way I can leave this house and live in peace for once. But I'm not sure how I can actually do that. My dad has become quite supportive of me over the past several weeks, and has said that he would try to help me pay for an apartment should I end up getting one. But I don't know if I even make enough money to support a good amount of rent (I make $5.25/hour plus tips). I'm looking for a new job now but still, things are getting pretty rough and I've been feeling very dysphoric lately. I also am worried about my brother, who is also suffering a lot because of my mom. And if I were to move out, what then? Do I just live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life? I don't know, I just have a lot to think about.

I'd love to hear what everybody else thinks. I've been not so fond of life recent;y and have been quite depressed, so hopefully I'll be able to solve some things.

[Dena]

There are two options I can think of. Possibly upgrading your skills by using a trade skill with classes you can attend in your free time. It may not be glamorous welding, constructing houses or running wire but it can pay well and the skills can be learned in a short period of time. The other option is a roommate. The cost for a 2 bedroom apartment normally isn't that much greater than a one bedroom apartment so splitting the rent can reduce your living expenses.

[Blucatt]

There are two options I can think of. Possibly upgrading your skills by using a trade skill with classes you can attend in your free time. It may not be glamorous welding, constructing houses or running wire but it can pay well and the skills can be learned in a short period of time. The other option is a roommate. The cost for a 2 bedroom apartment normally isn't that much greater than a one bedroom apartment so splitting the rent can reduce your living expenses.

I don't think I want to go to trade school or anything. Too much grunt work I guess, and I'll be another statistic working long hours with no meaning in life. I could find a roommate though. Do you think I'd able to afford it with my current wage?

[Devlyn]

Successful people work long hours  to get what they want. Welcome to life.

[SailorMars1994]

Successful people work long hours  to get what they want. Welcome to life.

Agreed. Not trying to burst your bubble but don't even think you'll get yourself into a dream job anytime soon. In fact don't think it will happen until you're 30 or older. In 24 in over a week and I still haven't landed into my dream job even while trying. You sadly gotta do what ya gotta do. Good luck tho and good job on your current improvements!

[Blucatt]

Successful people work long hours  to get what they want. Welcome to life.

Insensitive much? I'm not being lazy or anything like that. I just don't want to keep on working and working with no point. In case you want to know, I'm trying to become a famous author. But working 30+ hours a week and barely maintaining myself? I'll do it if I have to, but when will I have time for anything else, like writing and perfecting my craft and just generally any other important stuff besides work?

So then let's say I do work that much. Then what? Do I just keep working like that for the rest of my life? Where's the opportunity to advance? I want there to be a point to doing all of it.

[Blucatt]

Agreed. Not trying to burst your bubble but don't even think you'll get yourself into a dream job anytime soon. In fact don't think it will happen until you're 30 or older. In 24 in over a week and I still haven't landed into my dream job even while trying. You sadly gotta do what ya gotta do. Good luck tho and good job on your current improvements!

Thank you I forget where I heard it, but someone once said "do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do", and I think that explains it pretty well. But what I was trying to say was, if I spend so much time working, when would I have time to actually pursue my passion? I don't know, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life working my ass off in a job that I'm not passionate about.

[Devlyn]

Insensitive much? I'm not being lazy or anything like that. I just don't want to keep on working and working with no point. In case you want to know, I'm trying to become a famous author. But working 30+ hours a week and barely maintaining myself? I'll do it if I have to, but when will I have time for anything else, like writing and perfecting my craft and just generally any other important stuff besides work?

So then let's say I do work that much. Then what? Do I just keep working like that for the rest of my life? Where's the opportunity to advance? I want there to be a point to doing all of it.

Yeah, I  did, too. Around my late thirties I realized that there wasn't going to be a Nobel peace prize. There is a point, even though you have to work to stay alive. The point is being happy just to get a (roughly) 80 year spin on this fine planet. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[SailorMars1994]

Thank you I forget where I heard it, but someone once said "do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do", and I think that explains it pretty well. But what I was trying to say was, if I spend so much time working, when would I have time to actually pursue my passion? I don't know, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life working my ass off in a job that I'm not passionate about.

Np! I understand the feels of feeling far from where ya wanna be. See I want to be a chef so I know that doing kitchen jobs and working my way up plus college some point soon will help with that in time. Most people won't even look at someone to be a kitchen chef or what not until they are in their 30s regardless of how they are ( they want seasoned and mature people and think that 30s in the best time). I wish I could help you with an author job but I wouldn't know. So tell us, what are some other passions you have for now you can work with that won't be a drag for your soul from now till ya become an author?? Hugs

[Sonja]

Np! I understand the feels of feeling far from where ya wanna be. See I want to be a chef so I know that doing kitchen jobs and working my way up plus college some point soon will help with that in time. Most people won't even look at someone to be a kitchen chef or what not until they are in their 30s regardless of how they are ( they want seasoned and mature people and think that 30s in the best time). I wish I could help you with an author job but I wouldn't know. So tell us, what are some other passions you have for now you can work with that won't be a drag for your soul from now till ya become an author?? Hugs

sounds like good advice to me!

A good author draws upon a lifetime of experiences, sometimes from the grimiest places on the earth come tales of courage and beauty. Maybe some of these temporary jobs could end up giving you material and insight for your writing?

Sonja.

[Dena]

Insensitive much? I'm not being lazy or anything like that. I just don't want to keep on working and working with no point. In case you want to know, I'm trying to become a famous author. But working 30+ hours a week and barely maintaining myself? I'll do it if I have to, but when will I have time for anything else, like writing and perfecting my craft and just generally any other important stuff besides work?

So then let's say I do work that much. Then what? Do I just keep working like that for the rest of my life? Where's the opportunity to advance? I want there to be a point to doing all of it.

Making one dream real often takes everything you can possibly do. Sometimes this might require every spare minute you have. Making two dreams is that much more difficult. On the other hand, Harrison Ford was doing finish carpentry when he was spotted and made his entry into movies. You never know where and when opportunity will strike.

[Blucatt]

Np! I understand the feels of feeling far from where ya wanna be. See I want to be a chef so I know that doing kitchen jobs and working my way up plus college some point soon will help with that in time. Most people won't even look at someone to be a kitchen chef or what not until they are in their 30s regardless of how they are ( they want seasoned and mature people and think that 30s in the best time). I wish I could help you with an author job but I wouldn't know. So tell us, what are some other passions you have for now you can work with that won't be a drag for your soul from now till ya become an author?? Hugs

Well, now that I think of it, there's being a scientist. I always wanted to be a physicist, long before I wanted to become a writer. It was and still is a field that really interests me. The only problem is that it takes a lot of schooling to be successful in that field. I don't have the money to put myself thru college, and my work ethic is terrible due to my mental health.

[Allison S]

Well, now that I think of it, there's being a scientist. I always wanted to be a physicist, long before I wanted to become a writer. It was and still is a field that really interests me. The only problem is that it takes a lot of schooling to be successful in that field. I don't have the money to put myself thru college, and my work ethic is terrible due to my mental health.

I don't want to blame being trans for anything in my life... but I know a lot of things I could've achieved were stunted because of it. I know it's not the case for some, but for me I feel like not being able to be my authentic self has effected me in so many ways to my detriment. And now I get to work on myself truly for the first time in my life. I know I complain a lot, but right now it feels good..

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[Blucatt]

I don't want to blame being trans for anything in my life... but I know a lot of things I could've achieved were stunted because of it. I know it's not the case for some, but for me I feel like not being able to be my authentic self has effected me in so many ways to my detriment. And now I get to work on myself truly for the first time in my life. I know I complain a lot, but right now it feels good..

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Did you accidentally reply to the wrong post? Idk