I'm trying to word this right, cause its very confusing.
I'm a CD ofcourse, 36, I'm happy who I am, I have freinds who accept me and mum does too which is great. Closure happened to my guilt and fear of dressing about 3 years ago when a lady I met on the internet convinced me to move to another state, and start a new life, and dress whenever I wanted and to have the independance to express myself without the fear of people finding out.
3 years later, I'm still happy dressing, but very lonely and looking for a girlfriend.
The lady I met on the internet accepts me very much, and has been a good friend, but not loving, assuring or caring. She shows no signs of it. She has 3 other CD/Transexual friends and has had sex with all of them, and is trying to steer one of them onto me to keep me happy sexually and satisfied.
Make no mistake. I've had sex with other CDs, and enjoyed it, but how long can it go for. I feel my friend is using me tremendously. She gives me no hugs, kisses, warmth or anything. Her other CD/TV friends are getting all the attention, and I dont. I have a stutter, and I have nerve problems. She has a go at me about everything I do, and its getting me so depressed.
I was in love with her at one point, but not anymore.....I have no feelings at all. I take her out, for meals and clubbing, and very rarely get the thankyou I need.
I have a CD friend who casually sees me on a sexual basis, but we are not an item. Its just a part time thing, and hes a nice guy.
But its not what I want. I want a Girlfriend or lady friend. I am very loving, and have a lot to offer. I just dont know where to look, and I dont know if I should open up about my crossdressing on singles sites, or with meeting women wise.
I need some love, warmth in my life, and I'm tired of being treated like dirt.
