I really hate introductions and small talks, but I also don't want to be impolite so here we are. I think I should mention that English is not my native language and I'm nowhere close to mastering it (it would be nice to have some practice here) so please forgive me for my future mistakes. I'm almost 25 now, born in female body and always knowing that it's not who I am, but it took me really long time to realize that I can actually do something about it. I always thought that my sex is like a life sentence. I live in a ->-bleeped-<-ty country in Europe, I identified myself for years as a lesbian only because I'm in a relationship with woman (which is an abusive relationship but no one knows about it). I'm a black ship in the family, I don't have friends I could rely on and my health, both mental and physical, is ->-bleeped-<-. So yeah, pretty nice picture, huh?
I won't be lying - I tried to kill myself twice. But I never wanted to die. I desperately want to live, but this is not a life. Not like that. My body betrays me, my mind too. I wish I could just pack and get on a midnight train and never look back. But it's not that easy. I don't have any money and with my current health problems there's no way I could find a decent job. Especially in another country with not knowing anyone there. I guess the only thing I have is hope. And for now it must be enough.
I'm just glad that places like this exist and I can finally be honest with myself. It turned out to be way too personal, but I don't care anymore. Hello, everyone.
