Helllllllllllp :)

[Trini4u81]

Hey ladies it's Chrissy. I have a delima...a little bit about me, I'm  an African American  male to female  mid 30s who has been on hormones for 3 years now. I've been a procrastinator my whole life and noe even with my transition. I've let my insecurities of being visibly trans effect to the point of me wasting time and not going out, the odd part is I'm actually pretty gorgeous, some guys say I remind them of Tyra Banks etc lol. But still the fact of me not being stealth gets to me. It's gotten to me so much that all I do is work for a job I hate and just stay home. I use to be the life of the party but now I'm in this rut.  I've gained weight ,at 6'3 my thin frame along with hormones  and  poor diet has me up 230 pounds. Which makes me feel even worse of going out. During the 3 years on hormones I dealt with depression and really questioned do I want to continue being woman, the answer is yes but not like this scared insecure caricature of a woman that I've been. So with trying to get back on track I'm not sure quite what to focus on...i need new job. But I'm not quite sure how to present myself since I haven't changed my name yet nor any surgeries. Also I want my top surgery and eventually bottom surgery and also need to move etc. My question is what should I focus first...its been 3 years and so frustrated with myself...its like I'm finally good mentally but financially I'm a mess and I need my surgeries. Anyways just looking for some advice. Thanks so much ladies. 

               

[Lady Sarah]

Worry about getting a better job first. Then focus on moving, if it's that bad. From there, it should be easier to work on yourself.

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello Trina4u81 aka: Chrissy, I see that you are new here and have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transition and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. You might even find that you will make some new friends here.  Please come in and get involved at your own pace.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[V M]

Hi Chrissy 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Lilith.lupe.tamayo]

Hello and welcome aboard, Im new here too. My advice would be to look for a job in the NGO Non profit sector, look for some organization that is progresive and they will understand your situation. I go by lupe even though my legal name is something else but at my job they understand because its a very good non profit that supports minorities

[DawnOday]

Hey ladies it's Chrissy. I have a delima...a little bit about me, I'm  an African American  male to female  mid 30s who has been on hormones for 3 years now. I've been a procrastinator my whole life and noe even with my transition. I've let my insecurities of being visibly trans effect to the point of me wasting time and not going out, the odd part is I'm actually pretty gorgeous, some guys say I remind them of Tyra Banks etc lol. But still the fact of me not being stealth gets to me. It's gotten to me so much that all I do is work for a job I hate and just stay home. I use to be the life of the party but now I'm in this rut.  I've gained weight ,at 6'3 my thin frame along with hormones  and  poor diet has me up 230 pounds. Which makes me feel even worse of going out. During the 3 years on hormones I dealt with depression and really questioned do I want to continue being woman, the answer is yes but not like this scared insecure caricature of a woman that I've been. So with trying to get back on track I'm not sure quite what to focus on...i need new job. But I'm not quite sure how to present myself since I haven't changed my name yet nor any surgeries. Also I want my top surgery and eventually bottom surgery and also need to move etc. My question is what should I focus first...its been 3 years and so frustrated with myself...its like I'm finally good mentally but financially I'm a mess and I need my surgeries. Anyways just looking for some advice. Thanks so much ladies. 

               

Welcome Chrissy, here are some companies with non discrimination policies. https://www.susans.org/2017/11/25/hrc-corporate-equality-index-record-609-companies-earning-perfect-scores/

There are certain things that you can try. I just recently began learning Python programming language on line. As of right now there are 3500 Python jobs available in Seattle alone. It's not easy but then again it's not that hard and can lead you to an independent career. Many of the online courses offer certificates. Here is a site that is one of the best learning sources on the internet(MIT and it's free.
https://search.mit.edu/search?site=ocw&client=mit&getfields=*&output=xml_no_dtd&proxystylesheet=https%3A%2F%2Focw.mit.edu%2Fsearch%2Fgoogle-ocw.xsl&requiredfields=WT%252Ecg_s%3ACourse+Home%7CWT%252Ecg_s%3AResource+Home&sectionlimit=WT%252Ecg_s%3ACourse+Home%7CWT%252Ecg_s%3AResource+Home&as_dt=i&oe=utf-8&departmentName=web&filter=0&courseName=&q=python&btnG.x=18&btnG.y=17

To management for the most part it is what you can add to the bottom line and not your lifestyle. If you can perform, better, cheaper, with a sense of urgency than your contemporaries. You can show up in a tutu. The problem with retail jobs and the like, is that everyone has the same qualifications and there is not many ways to step outside the box; Common jobs don't allow you to expand your mind. I hope this bit of advice helps. Education is key.

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you DawnOday for your suggestions for Chrissy....  I tell  newbies all the time that Susan's is the place to get good suggestions and good advice regarding their specific situations.   Thanks again for replying.
Danielle

[softbutchharley]

Welcome to Susan's Place Chrissy This is a great resource site and informational site for any TG related issues . It's good to see you here and getting hooked up as it were .
EXHALE. my dear All things in their time they say.... Like they say in the motorcycle world.."it's not what you ride, but IF you ride !!"   Ity's not how far you are in your transition, it's being on the journey that counts Good luck to you again Chrissy !!
J