Alone

[silvertime]

I know the subject is vague... so I've been on HRT for 7 months now. Dealing with all the different feelings from guilt to shame and everything in between. My friends I have wouldn't accept me if I told them. My family wouldn't want anything to do with me. There are only two people who know. My wife and my therapist. I feel like I really don't have anyone to talk to about this. I can't share my feelings with my wife, turns to an argument. I wish I knew where to make some friends who don't care about me being trans. I don't know, I just feel alone and have no one I feel that I can share my day to day with and go shopping with, and have someone to lean on.

Any suggestions on where to meet people? Besides going to some group.

[KathyLauren]

I know it is hard, but it is up to you.

Obviously you know your friends and family better than I do, but I wonder if you are doing them an injustice by pre-judging their response. 

I feared I would lose my wife.  It didn't happen.  I feared I would lose one of my brothers.  Didn't happen.  I feared I'd be ridiculed or harassed by neighbours.  Didn't happen.  I figured I'd lose a dozen Facebook friends.  I didn't lose a single one, and now have twice as many as before.  The world is not as bleak as our fears make it out to be.

Even if you don't like support groups for the support, they are still a good way to meet people who have similar experiences to you, and who know what you are going through.

If you are looking for cis friends, start with the ones you already have.  Joining clubs and associations is the best way to meet people that you have something in common with.  Granted it is more awkward to do so while in the middle of your transition. 

Are there volunteer organizations in your area?  Usually they are so short of people that they will accept anyone with a pulse.

The world won't come to you.  You have to put yourself out there, to go and get the world.  THis is why we transition: to be ourselves in the world.

[RobynTx]

I know it is hard, but it is up to you.

Obviously you know your friends and family better than I do, but I wonder if you are doing them an injustice by pre-judging their response. 

I feared I would lose my wife.  It didn't happen.  I feared I would lose one of my brothers.  Didn't happen.  I feared I'd be ridiculed or harassed by neighbours.  Didn't happen.  I figured I'd lose a dozen Facebook friends.  I didn't lose a single one, and now have twice as many as before.  The world is not as bleak as our fears make it out to be.

This. A hundred times this.  I worked my mind into a frenzy believing that I would be all alone after coming out.  It hasn't happen.  Those that do want nothing to do with me are the types of people I wouldn't want around in the first place. 

This is all you.  We can offer words of encouragement but those go out the window as soon as you get face to face with a person to tell them.  You need a leap of faith.  Yes some will reject you but you could really be surprised about who will still want you.

[Jessica]

This holds true.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

[Northern Star Girl]

This holds true.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

@ silvertime:   I think that the replies here are full of good advice and responses to you original post regarding your transition issues that you mentioned.   You will find a lot of members here that can identify with what you stated.  Please continue to post your thoughts in the Forums.   

@ JESSICA:  I love the caption that you have above your Avatar and that you just stated in your reply above.   I hope that you don't mind, and I have not asked your permission, BUT I have been stating the exact same thing to many others as I go about my day:
      "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

***For many years I have been saying a similar statement to people that seemingly can not develop friendships:
    "I you want friends, you need to be friendly ... be the first to smile and to introduce yourself"

I give YOU and everyone else  "permission" to use it as you see fit.

Danielle

[silvertime]

Thanks ladies, I'm just struggling and I'm tired of feeling so down about it. I've accepted it and I know I want to transition. Just not sure I'm ready emotionally for the impact. I guess I need to get my courage up and stay the course.


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[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks ladies, I'm just struggling and I'm tired of feeling so down about it. I've accepted it and I know I want to transition. Just not sure I'm ready emotionally for the impact. I guess I need to get my courage up and stay the course.


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YES, if you desire...stay the course....  and you must have patience!!!!  Nothing happens very fast with HRT, or at least not as quickly as most of us desire.
Danielle