Is it wrong to stay closeted?

[CincySixx]

  In everyones opinion i was curious....
If i completely feel comfortable going "boy mode"
Still while i figure things out through hrt,
fitness, and makeup in my own private time,
Is that fair to myself or others?

I just feel like i came out long ago when i was a teen.
Huge uproar.
Now that im 27 and committing finally...
If just my close friends kno im honestly scared to
bring up the trans topic...to anyone else really.

Have any of you remained in "boy mode" publicly for
a long period of time even after 100% committing to
HRT and beginning your journeys?

I kinda feel like im answering my own question here but...
Maybe to each their own?
Afterall its about comfort and security?
I would like to hear more of your experiences though.

<3
Cincy

[Allison S]

I thought I was committed to my "boy" mode for at least 2 years of hrt and after my surgeries. But now 5 months in and I just don't think I can. This seriously changed for me and I'm shocked. I'm also 27.

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[Julia1996]

I didn't go completely full time for a year after I started hrt. I waited until I finished my last year of high school. I had enough problems at school and didn't want to add to them by coming out as trans to the whole school. There's no rule about when you have to go full time. You go full time when you're ready.

[warlockmaker]

I dont think the word, stealth, is used correctly here. I think it's staying in the closet.

I was on HRT, in the closet, for 2 years before going straight to SRS and living as a female. Before that I was an eccentric investment banker as a man with a pony tail and on HRT. No one guessed, only my private assistant knew.

My advice is : There is no rush. There is no timetable. You will know when it is right for you.

[CincySixx]

Aww thanks guys.
I appreciate the input it is an emotional guide line all
Of us meet when we are ready.

Also noticed the stealth title can i edit it or...
Maybe an admin could?

^
Totes cool with editting

^
Editted title.

<3
Cincy

[AnonyMs]

I've been on hrt almost 10 years now and still present male. I don't reccomend it.

[DawnOday]

If I had come out when I was 21 I would be known as a transvestite prostitute as the perception of the time was that is all we could be. Well that would not do so I got married and I kept my secret. However secrets are not easy to keep when your head is confused. No I should not have remained closeted. Once I came out the depression disappeared and the last two years have been the best I have ever experienced. Yes I dress male in deference to my wife when we leave the house but the rest of the time, I get to be me and I can handle that.

[kitchentablepotpourri]

I was on HRT for five years before I went full-time, because I needed to have my type 3 forehead and rhinoplasty done, and it took time for me to save enough money for the surgery.

[Shellie Hart]

I am closeted and have been since I started HRT two years ago. I will always be closeted. Don't have a choice unfortunately. The changes for me have been pretty profound and I hope to "hide" forever, but these changes will out me if they continue. The changes show no signs of slowing down...

[SadieBlake]

Your post seems to be more about what people have done and in any case I'm a strong believer that transition choices are individual and right/wrong are always relative to the individual's free will.

IAC, my choice was to come out simultaneous to starting hrt.

[Maddie86]

I'm out to a lot of people but still in the closet to the public and most of my family. In another week it will have been 8 months since I started HRT. My plan is to come out in May. There's a chance it will get pushed back but I am going to be really sad if it does, I want to move on already! I think the only thing that will hold me back is my work situation, I need a new job before I can transition. My friend is getting married in June and I really want to go to her wedding as a woman, and the bridal shower too, which is in May. She already started giving some of her relatives a heads up about me so I guess there's no going back now lol.

But yes, take your time, no need to rush, make sure you're comfortable!

[Christy Lee]

i hid in the closet for many years (i made a nice little home there), i was going through a hard time i didnt want to add anything else to that, but it left me a mess after everything for awhile i could barely function at all after it for along while

But on HRT, it all depends on how you feel, i felt like at the time i was going through just such bad times that even contemplating HRT was a big NO for me, so i suffered in Boy mode all the while,

now that im close to starting HRT myself (past few weeks has been about me working up the nerve to come out), i feel like i want to just stay as boy mode for as long as i can till i figure things out

Im 31 btw

[V M]

Depends on how much you like closets    But seriously, I see it as an individual choice to be made depending upon a person's comfort level with the environment they reside in and people they associate with

In other words it's your life and your choice to come out when you feel comfortable about it

Hugs

[Laurel D]

I'm sorry if I can't articulate this very well. But let your coming out be on its own and on on your own time. It's a lot more tramatic when it's forced before your ready.

Coming out up here wasn't hard for me because I didn't know anybody. But coming out to my friends and family back home, was stressful and still a work in progress.

You come out on your on time whenever you feel, that's the pros  of being your authentic self , outweigh the cons.

( Side note, some people may react with shock and/or anger, but those emotions will pass. )

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[Allison S]

I'm sorry if I can't articulate this very well. But let your coming out be on its own and on on your own time. It's a lot more tramatic when it's forced before your ready.

Coming out up here wasn't hard for me because I didn't know anybody. But coming out to my friends and family back home, was stressful and still a work in progress.

You come out on your on time whenever you feel, that's the pros  of being your authentic self , outweigh the cons.

( Side note, some people may react with shock and/or anger, but those emotions will pass. )

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I agree! That's why I'm not rushing to tell anyone. Yeah my wardrode and appearance are changing but I could get into punk too? I mean being "punk" isn't the same as changing genders but if I were to get tattoos and piercings all over my body... yeah that would be a huge shock. But hey it's not a bad thing!

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[Laurel D]

I agree! That's why I'm not rushing to tell anyone. Yeah my wardrode and appearance are changing but I could get into punk too? I mean being "punk" isn't the same as changing genders but if I were to get tattoos and piercings all over my body... yeah that would be a huge shock. But hey it's not a bad thing!

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When I first got started, I wore a lot of flannel type shirts, and sweaters ( bright colors with lots of pink ). Heck sometimes at the thrift store, those type of clothes were accidently put in men's section by mistake.

Starting with anything that is androgynous by nature, is a great way to dip your toe in the water so to speak. Punk style would be excellent for that. ( Although it would be the  exact  opposite of my bright pink shirts.....lol)

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[CincySixx]

When I first got started, I wore a lot of flannel type shirts, and sweaters ( bright colors with lots of pink ). Heck sometimes at the thrift store, those type of clothes were accidently put in men's section by mistake.

Starting with anything that is androgynous by nature, is a great way to dip your toe in the water so to speak. Punk style would be excellent for that. ( Although it would be the  exact  opposite of my bright pink shirts.....lol)

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Darkness!
#witchlyfe
<3

[Meghan]

Coming out is always depends on personal choice and circumstances. Everyone has their own way to decide to come out or not. Good luck on your decision.

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