Danielle,
We told all those people in our lives that are close relatives, daughter, brothers and sisters, by direct, individual communication. All of our parents passed some time ago, so they never knew of it. We told those friends who are or have been an active part of our life in recent years with whom we desired to continue or reestablish our connections. That left just a general announcement to wrap up the loose ends on Facebook so that "interested parties" would know and not be "surprised" if the news found them via the grapevine or some reference to some Stevi person in some conversation. My friends on Facebook are not that many. Mostly more distant relatives, some old work associates from pre-cruising days, the odd acquaintance from here and there along the way through life and some new friends who have never known the old me. The Facebook announcement is maybe more of a signal that the secret is out and there is no longer a need to mind their ps and qs in their communications with me or about me. I had asked everyone to be careful as I moved through the priority list and I went to all those who needed to hear from me, personally.
So far, there have not been any negative responses on Facebook. With all that is positive there, I think anyone with a negative thought will keep it to themselves. They would get eviscerated by my supporters.
Thanks, but I do not feel particularly brave or bold. It is almost anticlimactic. The process has been about eight months long. There has been only one outright rejection- Miss Bee-in-her-bonnet who learned of it accidently and accosted my wife, verbally, on our front doorstep. A couple of non-responses to letters or emails from us. A number of ambivalent, live and let live, responses. Unfortunately some of those were my own siblings. That is probably the source of most of my disappointment. Each of my siblings reacted pretty much as I had anticipated. I had just hoped for more from them. On the other hand, there have been incredibly supportive responses. Some of those from old friends I fully expected the worst from. Very pleasantly surprised. Added bonus- In these recent months, I have made many knew acquaintances, some have become good friends, who have not known me as anything other than Stevi. With these new people in my life, I have been completely open about who I am, now, and who I was for most of my sixty eight years on this orb. That has been a liberating and joyful experience.
The first person on the list, our daughter, the only person we could not bear the thought of losing, is still struggling in some ways. I get the feeling she is uncomfortable with me. There is little discussion between us about my transition. None of it is initiated by her. Without feedback from her, I am always unsure of how to appear or what is OK to say or do. Maybe it is more paranoia on my part than it is an issue on her part. Without the feedback, I am left to wonder. I have been trying mightily to be considerate of her needs and progress. I forewarned her before I took each next step. I waited between each step to give her some time to let the dust settle. Time to wrap her head around it. That is a big part of the reason it took eight months to reach this milestone. I hope this announcement goes some way toward making her realize this is the way her father is. It is not a dream. It is not going away. It is not an earthquake.
Most of my transition is in the rearview mirror, now. My friends and family know, My documents are pretty much all corrected. Still fighting with getting the gender marker right at Medicare. I am hoping to spend some more time regularly around home so I am considering some regular appointments with an electrocutioner if I can find one within reach physically and financially. Shaving is such a pain. I get a hankering to have the GRS, at times. My wife has said she expects it to happen some day and she is sure she is OK with it. Most times I think I will be fine without it. But there are times.... It is a big expense, not trivial, especially for us older folks, and not imperative, yet. We all know how that process goes though. Constantly pushing the envelope. Never satisfied with enough. Rather have it all.
Danielle, I hope you don't mind my stream of consciousness reply to a rather simple question. Thank you for your support through these, sometimes trying, past months.
My thanks to all of you here at Susan's Place who have gone before and shown the way or traveled with me during this journey.
Hugs to all,
Stevi
