Hello everyone, this has been a longtime coming. So it all started when? Well lets not bore you today with all the details. For a screen name not in use my third choice was accepted so just call me Dolly. In the early years going to bed wishing/dreaming I was a girl. As a teenager thinking I was possibly gay, no that didn't fit I liked girls. I especially liked when I was alone at home and could put my older sisters clothes on. Getting older and connecting dots I started to suppress these wants as best i could. Then the voice in my head would ask me" am i trans". Careers and family the years go by and the shame of my secret suppressed way down inside. Finally not being able to carry it all bottled up inside I found myself sitting one-on-one with a therapist saying, hmm i got this little problem I have never shared with anyone. A year later we agreed "she" was not going away. Moving forward I did a year of low dose hrt(informed consent w.o./sharing this with my spouse) At first everything was feeling great and even at fifty changes did happen the juice was working its magic. This part i find hard to describe, i start living a lie that I hid my entire life and pretty much embrace it fully. Now I'm hiding the truth from the one person that truly matters to me, who would be devastated to find out. Yes, Im wrong for not being up front with my wife, years ago when she discovered my desire to wear womens clothes things were rather tense for a while. So shortly after the first of this year I went cold turkey. I will never pull a stupid ass stunt like that again, wow was I messed up for a couple of weeks. Things started to change back, at first after the falling out feelings stopped ,it was good. Soon enough my T started to wake up and now Im back to hearing the voice in my head tell me " you need to get back on the juice". So here's the question, before I start HRT how do i go about gently informing my spouse my intentions? I now know for a fact I feel better being "her" than me. I seen enough change in myself physically that first year to know the wife had to see it also but yet she respected that boundary, so maybe it isn't going to be as shocking to her as i suspect. Thanks I look forward to receiving good advice.
