3 1/2 years. Hardly any changes

[iamthatiam8]

So i started taking hormones at 19 stoped at 20 in order to find myself and began again at 21, now I'm 25. Around the year 2 i started to program my mind that maybe i was gonna be one those transexuals who don't experience much change and i would have to learn to live with my dysphoria for ever, unfortunately telling yourself that you will have to live with a mental illness for the rest of your life and actually being able to live with it are two different things( and by illness i mean the dysphoria). I can't say my body hasn't change but i basically went from looking full male to looking androgynous. I got stuck looking androgynous during the first year and my body hasn't change sense nor has my face. I got no hips just a bit of fat around the area enough to make people question whether i work out or maybe im not 100% male. Tiny breast like a 13 year old girl. But i do got bery soft skin and my naked body looks somewhat feminine. I had an orchie almost 3 month ago, so i have a bit of home of gaining some weigh cause im skinny and find it hard to gain weight. My hormone levels are good and my health is good so its not the hormones just some male bodys dont feminize well. Now I'm going to therepy to learn to live with my dysphoria and depression. Even though my endo says i disserve to live happy i have little hope of ever being comfortable with my body.

[iamthatiam8]

I do have to say that my mental state is better but more out off control. I feel so intune with my body which explains how with out hormones i actually have less dysphoria, but feel worst . It's so weird that after taking hormones my dysphoria got out off control yet i feelbmuch happier, oh brain understanding you is like understanding a supernova, from chaos comes life yet the life although less chaotic is still chaotic.

[Allison S]

Have you considered (if financially feasible) plastic surgery? On your face alone I know they can do fat transfers to cheeks and lips. The only obstacle with that is not having enough fat to transfer in the first place... I think that really feminizes a person's face.

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[iamthatiam8]

Have you considered (if financially feasible) plastic surgery? On your face alone I know they can do fat transfers to cheeks and lips. The only obstacle with that is not having enough fat to transfer in the first place... I think that really feminizes a person's face.

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hi Allison, I am planning to get ffs once i have the money, i was lucky that my face is feminine as it is but its too androgynous. My face and lower body are my biggest dysphoria triggers so at least having a feminine face will help reduce my dysphoria by 50%. And when it comes to fat transfer, i dont really needed for my face. I used virtual ffs and alexandra says i need 3 facial surgeries and one optional.

[Karen_A]

Unfortunately, particularly with how young you started, I suspect you are not going to get much more change naturally...

I started HRT at much older age (40) and got only the degree of change that you describe even after DECADES of HRT with number of different regimens (and I have an unfortunately large build as well).

Even though my face was my best feature, I had full FFS done which helped as well as BA with SRS. I really could not afford to do more work below the neck,  and from what I could find,  the results of things like fat transfer tended to be variable.

Where I wound up was not what I hoped for, but better than where I was.

There comes a point after one has done all that is reasonable, and you have to try to make the best you can of the results you get... going beyond that can cause both physical and financial issues for the long run...

You have to decide where that point is for yourself.

- karen

[PurplePelican]

If you've been on an inappropriate regimen, the time you've been taking it is immaterial. A sufficient level of E is required for feminisation and that level varies from person to person, some need more and some less - I know some for whom the E level causes some less educated docs to panic.

What have your E levels been like? Is T adequately suppressed? Are you taking progesterone as well?

[Jessica Lynne]

I think we're pretty hyper critical of ourselves. No one looks at themselves with a more jaundiced eye than a trans woman. You state you don't like your bod. Well, I can appreciate that. So can millions of cis women. At some point you have to accept yourself and then love yourself. Or maybe it's the reverse. But the fact is that women's bodies run the gamut. So the key in my minds eye is to accept myself as the woman I am, not the one I fantasized being. I found that to be unattainably toxic and deeply unsatisfying.

[iamthatiam8]

Hello girls, you are all right. There does come a point in life when one has to learn to accept what we have and make the best of it, to not do so will be detrimental to ones livelyhood. Yeah my testastore was properly suppressed and for a year before my orchie i was on the highest dose of estrogen my doctor and i felt it was healthy.i tried progesterome and nothing, but i don't really want my breast to grow if my lower body is smaller than my upper, it gives me to much dysphoria. I'm more stable to just look androgynous than to look feminine in a none feminine way like big boobs and no hips. I do know that with ffs i will be a million times happier so that will take a lot af weight of my shoulders but I'll most like continue being androgynous( I'm a tomboy anyways) unless my body changes. Through therapy i should learn some healthy coping skills for my dysphoria and learn to actually live life instead of just breathing air which i have been doing sence i hit puberty. Lets see if after a year after my orchie things remain the same if they do than I'll suck it up and move on

[iamthatiam8]

I think we're pretty hyper critical of ourselves. No one looks at themselves with a more jaundiced eye than a trans woman. You state you don't like your bod. Well, I can appreciate that. So can millions of cis women. At some point you have to accept yourself and then love yourself. Or maybe it's the reverse. But the fact is that women's bodies run the gamut. So the key in my minds eye is to accept myself as the woman I am, not the one I fantasized being. I found that to be unattainably toxic and deeply unsatisfying.

You are right Jessica; do to the way we were born we have so much animosity against ourserves its so unhealthy. I've learn that the mind can overcome anything. I've seen people with deformities overcome there looks why can't i. I know that gender dysphoria makes it so hard to do so sence it tells us that there is something wrong with the way we look, but an important thing i learned is that you have to talk back to that voice in your head because the longer you continue to let it rule over you the more control it has.