This is me

[CallmeMegan]

Hi
A wee bit - or a lot- about me and why I'm here.

I'm 49yrs old and after probably 35 years of knowing something wasn't right with me and 5 years of definitely knowing I was in the wrong body I have decided to try and move things on.

I have struggled with dysphoria for most of my life and even though some people think I am a fit/handsome ISH guy it kills me on the inside. I have been married had kids and been in relationships with woman but never really had any feelings of fulfilment from any of these (kids apart) and I didn't really know why. Now though I am in a relationship with a very open minded woman who I love but I can't yet find the time or words to open up to her on my inner feelings.

I've never had serious friendships with guys always seeming to end up in female company. I have played male oriented sports to keep up the masculine side but I love being inside a dress or skirt with lipstick. I did wonder at one point if it was a cross dressing thing I had but the dysphoria and desire to have a female form burns deep both exciting me to a magical high but also scaring the life out of me and making me question everything I have done.

I have read loads of journeys/stories good and bad, researched all about the HRT and surgery and none of it puts me off wanting to be MEGAN. I don't have anyone  at all that I can confide in safely so I'm hoping to reach out here and at least have the comfort of being amongst women who may have experienced some or all of this already and know how I'm feeling.

Thanks for reading and hopefully for having me in your community

Megan x

[Megan.]

Well let me just say welcome and what a wonderful name you have [emoji6].

I'm a 40 y/o trans-woman in the UK (Bedfordshire), separated and with two young children.

It's taken me a long time to figure out who I am, and that journey is ongoing.

You'll find lots of wonderful people here and open hearts and minds.

See you round the site. X

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[CallmeMegan]

Thanks Megan

You have a good name too  .

I hope that I can not only get to know some of you better but also take inspiration from some too.

See you around

Megan x

[Kirsteneklund7]

Hi Megan,
A very warm welcome. Your story really struck a chord with me. I am 49 years old I have 2 school age sons. I know what it is like to be involved with a woman and to discover that after the initial masculine facade wears of they aren't always attracted to the empathetic man that wants to be their friend. I often feel I can't generate the dynamic a lot of women look for in a relationship.
I also know well the elation of spending spare made up in heels and a nice dress. I do love women. The trouble is I envy them and wish I was one. This doesn't always gel with day job as engineer, father,husband.
I'm also on mtf HRT . HRT & cross-dressing keeps mind and soul together. I would be interested to hear any more of your story or plans to manage dysphoria.
Wishing you the very best in your journey, Kirsten.


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[CallmeMegan]

Hey Kristen

Thanks for the comments and I really didn't think that there were many who ft the way I do.

My dysphoria has a long standing relationship with me n though I'm 6' with quite an athletic build all I can see is a feminine shape to my body. I have hips and a waist and slim but muscular legs. Ido look great in a tight size 8(UK) dress lol.

How I'm going to address it is another matter. The first step is acknowledging myself and knowing that how I am is on. The next stage is about coming out and I've started that on here. Now I just need to get to grips with family etc and get to s doctor and get the hormones. Hopefully I will be able to go all the way and go for the reassignment surgery. That's where my ultimate goal is. To be a real woman in every way.

Obviously up til now I have hidden all of this but now I think it's time to flourish. Need a lot of voice practice though which is going to be hard.

Any hints or tips you have to help with any if my transition would be great

Megan x

[V M]

Hi Megan 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Kirsteneklund7]

I bet your body will respond very well to HRT. I think you will find there is a lot of upside to hormones and very little downside. Improving ones figure and having new breasts and seeing how much better you look on a dress is indescribably uplifting.
One thing I found though was the force or gravity of newly felt emotions and new frame of mind. It was quite overwhelming at about the 9 month mark but became easier to deal with after 12 months. A bit like puberty but traveling through the other way. You will not be disappointed with HRT.
Yours faithfully, Kirsten.

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[CallmeMegan]

Hi Kirsten

Sorry about the typo last post  with your name.

It's good to hear so many positive and encouraging words from the girls on here. I think it might be the single best thing I have done in getting my mind clear and validating my feelings.

I am so looking forward now to taking the next steps and getting onto the hormones so that my body can start to take the form that I feel it should have. To be able to have breasts softer skin and be able to wear clothes that define me will be an all time high. I'm under no illusions that there will be difficult times to deal with but I truly believe it will all be worth it. To see feminine features appear on my face will also help me believe it's possible.

If you have any tips on things that work for you or didn't I'd be grateful but I know that what works for one might not for another.

I already feel like part of a family that I never knew existed so thank you for being there

Megan x

[Kirsteneklund7]

All I can say Megan is you don't have to do anything in a rush. Just take things as fast or as slow as you want. It is good to give loved ones time to adjust, even while estrogen is working it's magic behind the scenes. Also HRT can be shown off or kept  very low key- it's up to you. It doesn't hurt to start HRT - you can stop and go back to full male mode. The thing about HRT is once you're away you won't want to stop.
PS I would love to hear how you go.
Kind regards, Kirsten.

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