Wondering if I "gave up" somewhere down the line

[softbutchharley]

Or...am I just happy and content ?  lol
I read posts here and started wondering...did I give up on myself looking "mahhhhhvelous" ?
I had my eyebrows and eyeliner tattoo'd since I hate taking the time with makeup. Tho I usually get my face on in 10-15 minutes, it's still a pain and I am very light with my makeup.
I spend most of my time outdoors. Fishing, boating, beaching,riding motorcycle, working in yard...... I just don't seem to have a lot of reason to do makeup to go fishing or beaching or riding in the wind.
So now......sometimes I feel like I look like a sea hag hahahaha and Halloween only comes around once a year kids !!!
My baby boo loves me and of course has no prob. She says do what you want, you are beautiful. But she's my baby boo so... We don't go out on the town much...mainly concerts or dinner or the like. I put a lil face on then. Do I get "clocked" ? I suppose. It is not a concern to me in reality tho. Really, I just don't care. I seem to get by OK on my attitude and smile  lol  When that seems like not enough, I wear a string halter top  hahahahaha
I am 63, post op about 9 years, on estradiol <no dosage please> and a few other liver related rx's .
Sooo...how about it ? Anyone else here ever feel that ? I see a lot of very pretty faces in the pics here, so I wonder. My daughter spends a great deal of time working/experimenting/practicing new makeup looks. She is also very pretty.
Let me know if you have any similar experience and how you approached that feeling about yourself ?
There are several of my pics in my gallery if needed to see what and who I am talking about
TY peeps...stay salty  
J

[Harley Quinn]

I also ride. I have yet to figure out how to keep my hair from getting completely wrecked.  I also had my eyebrows microbladed, brows are such a pain to continually shape and I would constantly worry about screwing it up.  However, I still take my time with the makeup and have experimented with different products and applications to keep it on under a helmet.  I like a subtle look to my makeup, which comes out to be fairly light overall; However, I don't feel right if it's not done to the best of my ability.  I carry a couple of touch up cosmetics with me when I go anywhere.  I enjoy the satisfaction I get from well applied makeup. 

I have only been doing the daily routine for a couple years, but I would carry cosmetics to touch up pre-transition when I could afford myself a makeup day.  To me, it's one of my hobbies.  I find the application process to be relaxing, like a pampering at the spa.  For me it is more ritualistic, I have my beautiful vanity with my wonderful brushes and kit on display.  I feel like a Hollywood Starlet of the 1930s/40s.  It's relaxing, and renews my perspective on the day.  If I found the process to be more of a "have to" rather than a "get to", then I might feel differently.  I could relate it to the elegance of a hand penned letter vs an e-mail; or a daily shave with a BIC razor vs a hot shave with a straight razor and badger brush.  I do my fair share to keep the magic in the process, and it has failed to wear out it's appeal.  It honestly takes no extra time to get my makeup done at the vanity, than it would doing it in the bathroom next to the toilet... But it would quickly become a chore rather than a retreat.

Simple things that take absolutly no extra time to accomplish can sometimes bring us the greatest pleasures.  Honestly it takes no extra time to wear a nice dress and heels than it would to wear sweats and sneakers; but it brings many people a renewed sense of self and fresh ambition for the day.  The ambiance of music while you clean the house, or prepare a meal vs the deafening silence.  The sound sleep you get in a freshly made bed... the overwelming calm from music playing when soaking in the tub or standing under massaging jets while showering after a long day.

[softbutchharley]

ty for that reply....And your outlook is so optimistic and wholesome.

J

[Tessa James]

I am occasionally asking myself a similar question relative to how far my transition has gone and how comfortable I feel now.  I am mostly contented and happy and don't find anything wrong with being here as is.  There is always more we might do or entertain as options.  We have many peers that are on a longer journey with multiple surgeries and techniques to gain greater congruence and maybe more of that marvelous experience.  We can happily support those efforts without needing them for ourselves too.

And then I have recognized considerable ambivalence about the "tells" and tend to view myself as non binary anyway.  Life might be easier if this and that were different but i love being just plain real and if that is obviously transgender then I own that too.  Make up is just lipstick for me.

Contented, happy and probably finished with transition but never done with learning

[Harley Quinn]

ty for that reply....And your outlook is so optimistic and wholesome.

J

You're quite welcome, and thank you for the lovely compliments. 😊

[softbutchharley]

TY Tessa !!!

What a great attitude as well as some others I have seen here. 

I hear you and ty for the reminder that anytime I want "more" I can do as I please  

Life is good today ----------------------------------------> ONE...........

[Tessa James]

Love that freedom we allow ourselves!  We got this girl!