Just psychological?

[BlueJaye]

I have long struggled with male sexual functions being a huge dysphoria trigger. Even the slightest hint of erection was terrible. I came out to my wife a week ago, and ever since I have had zero interest in anything sexual, and the only erections I have are at night (they wake me up, which I hate). Even seeing my wife naked getting dressed does nothing in terms of arousal.

For me, this all seems like a miracle. Short of getting rid of the offending appendages altogether, being nearly free of erections is wonderful. I have nothing to explain the sudden change except that it happened right after coming out.

Do you think this is just some psychological thing? I'm really hoping that whatever caused it doesn't stop.

[SammyHatesGreenEggs]

I was really paranoid of placebo effect psychological changes when I started HRT.  At this point, I've decided that if something is a positive end result for me, I don't really care what it's origin is.

Without knowing you, it's hard to guess if you've had any physiological changes recent, so there's a reasonable chance it's psychological.  I'm probably butchering this, but I believe there's an adage along the brain being the most important sexual organ in the body.

At the end of the day, I'm glad to hear this dysphoric trigger isn't bothering you as much!

[Northern Star Girl]

I have long struggled with male sexual functions being a huge dysphoria trigger. Even the slightest hint of erection was terrible. I came out to my wife a week ago, and ever since I have had zero interest in anything sexual, and the only erections I have are at night (they wake me up, which I hate). Even seeing my wife naked getting dressed does nothing in terms of arousal.

For me, this all seems like a miracle. Short of getting rid of the offending appendages altogether, being nearly free of erections is wonderful. I have nothing to explain the sudden change except that it happened right after coming out.

Do you think this is just some psychological thing? I'm really hoping that whatever caused it doesn't stop.

@ BlueJaye: What you mention seems normal if you have been on T-Blockers for any amount of time.   For me, after being on Spiro at about 1 1/2 there were not more erections and sexual attraction and libido were at all time lows.  At 2 yearsthere was absolutely nothing happening down there.  Of course these are only my personal results and likely will not be others results.  Every Body reacts differently and with various speeds with HRT.
Danielle

[BlueJaye]

I do have an appointment with the endocrinologist at the local lgbt clinic next week to discuss hormones, but as yet have not been prescribed any. Whatever happened was purely on its own. I'm happy, but puzzled.

[blackcat]

I'm AFAB, not doing HRT, and after coming out to myself (have to start somewhere...  ), I feel like I completely have to "relearn" how to have sex. Like I'm not sure who... where... what... how... My connection to my body is completely different, and it's 100% the result of a mental state.

I never consciously entertained (or even knew about) the concept of cross-gender arousal until recently. If I explore that mentally, I discovered my body does all kinds of really cool and amazing things that I didn't think were possible. I won't TMI, but where I am mentally will determine one of two completely different response patterns. (Hint: one works much better than the other.)

I have noooooo idea how to integrate my newfound discoveries into my relationship... yet.  But my experiences have been constant since I found my new "brain space," scientifically repeatable. 

Also worth mentioning - when I would mentally associate with my birth sex, I would need a lot of 50 shades of bells and whistles to get anywhere with anything. If I associate with what I identify with internally, I don't need *any* of that to feel some very powerful things. I felt like I previously had to try so hard to force my sexuality and overcompensate with intense stimulation because I couldn't connect internally to what was going on.

In summary, tuning in to who/what I am has had a profound impact on my mind/body connection, and how that manifests sexually. The brain is a strange and interesting thing...

I hope you are finding peace and connecting meaningfully with your body, in whatever way that manifests for you.

[krobinson103]

Six months of hrt and I have to say I don't even feel anything down there looking at what used to interest me. No erections, zero sperm, maybe a little clear liquid if anything. Love it.

[VickyS]

I have long struggled with male sexual functions being a huge dysphoria trigger. Even the slightest hint of erection was terrible. I came out to my wife a week ago, and ever since I have had zero interest in anything sexual, and the only erections I have are at night (they wake me up, which I hate). Even seeing my wife naked getting dressed does nothing in terms of arousal.

For me, this all seems like a miracle. Short of getting rid of the offending appendages altogether, being nearly free of erections is wonderful. I have nothing to explain the sudden change except that it happened right after coming out.

Do you think this is just some psychological thing? I'm really hoping that whatever caused it doesn't stop.

Getting similar results here.  Not long after coming to terms with being trans and coming out to my wife, my libido went to zero.  No erections, nothing.  So much so that I went to my doctors and had my testosterone levels checked (at the request of my wife) and they were in the normal range for a physical male.  So, I can only put it down to psychological stuff.  When my wife touched my private parts when I was asleep, I freaked out and jumped out of bed. I could not stand it and still can't.  I have always been bisexual but my interest in cis-women has really dropped in the last couple of years and I'm really only attracted to men or some transwomen now.  Things may be different for you sexually, but I had a powerful realisation that I have never liked penetrating someone else (man or woman) and it always felt weird and the whole humping action just felt forced and silly.  Part of the realisation was that I wanted to be penetrated as a woman and I was not looking at men with the lust of a gay man but the rather that of a woman.  That was very powerful for me and since then I think my mind/brain is trying to reconfigure itself and my libido is returning although still lowish.  But now it's different and my boy parts just feel out of place and I don't want them on me. 

[BlueJaye]

Getting similar results here.  Not long after coming to terms with being trans and coming out to my wife, my libido went to zero.  No erections, nothing.  So much so that I went to my doctors and had my testosterone levels checked (at the request of my wife) and they were in the normal range for a physical male.  So, I can only put it down to psychological stuff.  When my wife touched my private parts when I was asleep, I freaked out and jumped out of bed. I could not stand it and still can't.  I have always been bisexual but my interest in cis-women has really dropped in the last couple of years and I'm really only attracted to men or some transwomen now.  Things may be different for you sexually, but I had a powerful realisation that I have never liked penetrating someone else (man or woman) and it always felt weird and the whole humping action just felt forced and silly.  Part of the realisation was that I wanted to be penetrated as a woman and I was not looking at men with the lust of a gay man but the rather that of a woman.  That was very powerful for me and since then I think my mind/brain is trying to reconfigure itself and my libido is returning although still lowish.  But now it's different and my boy parts just feel out of place and I don't want them on me.

I'm really glad to hear that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I'm thankful for it and hope it doesn't end, but it is kind of weird to have such a dramatic change almost instantly.

I know what you mean about penetration. I have always felt really weird doing that with my wife, and it was terrible having to feel like I needed to do that to prove I was really male. I hated when she would touch me down there, and hated even more putting on an act like I was enjoying it. Trying to make myself breathe hard and exaggerating everything hoping it was convincing.

I have never experienced any attraction to men, and don't expect I ever will, but my interest in women has become completely non-sexual. I think the reason I was interested in women sexually was because it was a means to validating my false male identity. Now that I can't hide behind that, there's nothing left to attract me sexually. I still like cuddling with her and feeling her body close to mine, but anything related to intercourse just seems really unappealing. Having confessed to her that my boy parts feel like some kind of parasitic monster, I really don't want to do anything that reminds me that they are still there.

[VickyS]

I know what you mean about penetration. I have always felt really weird doing that with my wife, and it was terrible having to feel like I needed to do that to prove I was really male. I hated when she would touch me down there, and hated even more putting on an act like I was enjoying it. Trying to make myself breathe hard and exaggerating everything hoping it was convincing.

Totally.  I don't like being touched down there and I've always disliked oral sex on me. Felt really odd and unpleasant.  I guess that should have rang alarm bells really.  I actually researched and read up on how to please a woman when I got together with my wife.  It did not feel natural and always felt forced but I thought I'd have to try my best to please her and apparently I did but most of the time I was just going through the motions...

I have never experienced any attraction to men, and don't expect I ever will, but my interest in women has become completely non-sexual.

I have always had an attraction to men (well since age 10 was my earliest memory), but same as you, my interest in women is non-sexual now.  In fact, I CAN be attracted to them from a distance but when I get close that attraction falls off rapidly.  I admire women and look at them a great deal but it's not sexual, it more of a desire to BE like them.

I think the reason I was interested in women sexually was because it was a means to validating my false male identity. Now that I can't hide behind that, there's nothing left to attract me sexually.

Hmmm... perhaps so.  Perhaps that was similar in my case also.  I have always had a fascination with women though and always put them on a pedestal but of course that could have other reasons looking back now...

I still like cuddling with her and feeling her body close to mine, but anything related to intercourse just seems really unappealing. Having confessed to her that my boy parts feel like some kind of parasitic monster, I really don't want to do anything that reminds me that they are still there.

I'm not so keen on doing that but I will cuddle to calm her down if she's upset which is most of the time now but it feels uncomfortable and if she tries anything else which does happen from time to time it feels like I'm being molested and I freak out which upsets her and the cycle continues...

[kk]

I'm FtM and pre-hormones, but I had something similar.  I was very uncomfortable with any kind of sexual anything, to a point where me and my girlfriend went weeks and weeks without touching each other because I would freak out.  After I came out to her as a man and she started treating me like a man (again, no hormones or physical changes) everything just clicked and it felt right.  Same body parts, slightly different method, but a huge change in mood/how we went about it mentally.  Maybe your situation is similar.

[blackcat]

I was always horrified by the idea of receiving oral sex, ever since I became sexually active. It rang alarm bells for past partners... but never for me personally. 

I've also been made to feel like I was insane for not enjoying receiving and that was always a mystery to me (before I could factor being trans into it), so it does give me peace to know that other people have had the same struggles with their bodies.