Not entirely sure what I'm doing...

[terrakitty]

Hello!

My name is Terra and I just signed up here. I'm a bit overwhelmed on how to navigate, but we'll see if it sticks or not. I'm not all that far into middle age, but I'm kind of a luddite and frequently tell people to get off my lawn and turn down their music.

I'm a non-binary/non-gendered trans feminine person. Although I had been out as genderqueer for somewhere in the neighborhood of 16 years, my body suggested I start HRT about 12 years ago now. Turns out it's exactly what my body needed, and then went "full time" a couple months after...whatever that means for me. I didn't really change much -- jeans, t-shirts, make-up only at Goth metal shows, and mostly dating dykes -- but for some reason I magically began getting ma'amed and just went with it despite having non-binary pronouns.

I have wanted vaginoplasty since I settled into HRT, but set it aside because I had plenty of other things to pay for, and at the time the only option seemed to be to pay out of pocket. I have never had more than $1000 in my savings my entire life. Anyway, my new doctor just told me my insurance actually covers vaginoplasty and started the process. I had been pretty content, but now I'm excited and giddy...and a little confused and overthinking everything. My partner is totally supportive no matter what I do, and the process to see Dr. Dugi at OHSU has started, but now all the creeping questions are coming up. "Do I REALLY want this?" "That's a LOT of recovery time." "Every time I google anything about GRS, only 'regret' articles come up, and it's making me break out in hives."

I haven't really had trans community around me for a couple years; former Seattleite with a very queer and trans bubble, but moved to the SW and my bubble is still forming. So I haven't really had anyone to chat about gender journey stuff -- kind of felt unmotivated to change that, since it's been so long since I settled into transition -- but with this sudden influx of NEW trans stuff in my life, I needed to reach out.

So I'm coming here looking for a bit of community and maybe some information and positive stories about surgery so I can better wrap my head around GRS. Thanks in advance! I hope everyone who reads this is well!

Terra

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello Terra (aka TerraKitty),  I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[V M]

Hi Terra 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Sno]

Hi hon, welcome to Susan's.

As NB myself, welcome - have a look around, and join in. We have our own NB space, although there are relatively few of us around on our board, there are more folk around on the main boards.

(Hugs)

Rowan