I don't wallow in anything. Except perhaps good snow. Its a part of my life, but only a part. Is is part of how I see myself, but its only a part, not the Alpha and Omega. Its given to me many good things, several good friends, lots of fun, and some sorrow. But hey, skiiing which is great thing in my life also broke my arm once, so its not even a perfect good. Thirty years in real rock - rock and roll - has done a number on my hearing, for sure on that. (there is a good reason why the most common word on a rock stage is "What?") Still I would not trade that for the cubicle life even if I can't hear certain ranges of sound well enough to mix bands anymore - which had I been on a cubicle farm I wouldn't have been doing in the first place. If your looking for perfection, you're on the wrong planet.
And, again.... your experience is not universal, even if it's in the majority, not everyone who has ever transitioned has gone through it. I know people who are still close with their family, still loved by those who loved them before, who did not wear their pain and suffering like a shroud, because for them it was a happy deal, not a trip down misery lane. Which is not to say it was easy, its just saying that that their road, in their life, in their time, was different. It was not brought about by huge amounts of pain, but rather by a choice about who they were, and how best to get on with that. In that process of becoming they found joy. If that is not your experience, I'm sorry, but its either way, its not EVERYones experience either. Dennis, for one, seems to have found a life with much more joy and happiness then he had before. Grad school was for me about 95% awesome. But that 5% was about the worst stuff I've ever been through. Still, at the other end, I would not trade it for anything. And, I'm pretty sure that it was the 5% that gave me the best stuff in the end.
And though I doubt that either of the blind people I know would say "It Rocks" to be blind, they would tell you that it gave them something different that was of value to them. And sure, it defines them to some degree, and a pretty major one at that, but its not the only thing they are.
Like anyone else of my age, I can look at things and say that there were some that brought me great joy, satisfaction, and made me happy, but they did not do that 24/7 forever, world without end. (Ask any parent, for most of them their children were and are their greatest joy, but also brought on some of the worst moments in their life.) Somethings come out better then you think, others worse. That's life.
