Dysphoria

[jennie.ayana]

I want to transition publicly...rrgg..this is  frustrating me bad....'couse i don't think I can

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[Allison S]

Me too [emoji17] I'm following to join here since I'll probably be on more later

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[Devlyn]

I want to transition publicly...rrgg..this is  frustrating me bad....'couse i don't think I can

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That's what holds everybody back. Once you do think you can, you'll be off and running. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Kendra]

We are a mixture of people of all experiences at various points in time - ranging from just wishing, to achieving goals.  Notice I said various points in time because it can change for each of us.  Things may appear unreachable and then we change, or our situations change.  And we each define our goals.  This can be more reasonable if it's a set of smaller goals that add up. 

I held back for a long time because I thought transition was all-or-nothing, a yes/no binary decision.  Turns out it isn't all on/off buttons to press... some things have dials you can adjust.  So I started chipping away at things I could do without publicly committing to transition - in my case that was hair style, permanently removing facial hair, and other things that would set the stage for later decisions. 

I think you can too.  It's how you define it.

[LaRell]

You would be absolutely amazed what time can do for you.  The more you research other trans people, and read of their stories and get a feel for that many of us either feel, or used to feel very much like you do, the more you will begin to realize that a lot of times even those who pass perfectly now, had just as many fears of never being able to pass, and super strong hesitancy to go out in public the first times.  I thought there was no way in the world that I could ever possibly pass!  But at just 8.5 months on HRT, here I am feeling quite confident that I really may be able to soon.  It is the craziest thing!  Hormones, self care, doing little things to slowly help your transition over time, and help your appearance, goes a long long way!  But most important, is taking care of your mental condition, and reassuring yourself that you don't have to be perfect.  For some of us, over time, we begin to see ourselves in the mirror, as a female.  It is amazing!

[jennie.ayana]

Mental divide...
Thank you all for your nice comments...
I spend half my working time leading people and telling them how to go about doing stuff, and most if nit all of the comments I read hit a nerve..and scream at me what i already know...'at the end of the day the only one that matters in our lives is our self...family and friends are very important...so important...but at the end you are the only person who is going to be with you your entire life'
And yet, here I am at the edge, one foot in and the other one hidding behind...inching out then not...
So I know, I'm the only one holding me back..my tremendous, insurmountable, anxiety  inducing fear of failure...of ending up alone...
The last time I saw the love of my life, she asked 'what do you fear? What things am i afraid of..? ' truth is nothing, or I haven't faced anything thay has paralyzed me with fear, not heights, spiders, snakes, rodents, insects,..etc, etc...I told her, my biggest fear is to end up alone...to rnd up alone 'cousr i fear failing most than anything...


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