Self perception, self esteem, and beauty

[Devlyn]

This video has been on the site before, but it really drives home some important points. Yes, I  know it's an advertising campaign. It still drives home some important points.

https://www.dove.com/us/en/stories/campaigns/real-beauty-sketches.html

[Anne Blake]

Hi Devlyn,

You can sure throw a wrench into my plans for ffs, and just when I had managed to justify my absolute need to fix this face.

Thanks for bringing the video to our attention.

Tia Anne

[Jessica]

Devlyn, that brought tears to my eyes as those women realized they were not seen by others as they saw themselves.  That they have been too critical on themselves, and they did not give enough credit to themselves.  Beauty in society is a fleeting idea that grabs on and becomes viral, until the next idea comes along.  Certainly this causes more stress than necessary with all the changes women have to do to keep them in style and fashion.  But that can be part of the fun also.

[Daisy Jane]

Super cute! I got myself all done up for an evening out in Minneapolis yesterday, and while I was doing my makeup I felt more happy than usual about the way I looked, but two hours later I saw myself in the mirror and almost burst into tears. I mean, I've had enough people say nice things about my appearance that I know I'm overly critical, but I can't help feeling as though I look manly sometimes and it drives me crazy! I wish I could just let it go because I'm exhausted thinking about it all of the time.

[RobynD]

This is a really fascinating video. We are our own worst critics.

[steph2.0]

Thank you for posting that, Devlyn. It really got to me, and I'm crying pretty hard right now.

I am also looking into FFS. While I understand the point the video makes, all of the people involved were unmistakably women. I would love to take a test like that, since I don't feel I am seen that way, and it would be very interesting to know exactly how others perceive me. Fairly or not, I tend to dismiss the rare compliments I receive as people just trying to be nice.


Stephanie

[Michelle_P]

Thank you for posting that, Devlyn. It really got to me, and I'm crying pretty hard right now.

I am also looking into FFS. While I understand the point the video makes, all of the people involved were unmistakably women. I would love to take a test like that, since I don't feel I am seen that way, and it would be very interesting to know exactly how others perceive me. Fairly or not, I tend to dismiss the rare compliments I receive as people just trying to be nice.


Stephanie

I've seen this before.  It makes valid commentary on issues of self-esteem and beauty.

Alas, my desire for Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) is not out of a desire for beauty, but to simply remove obvious male structural markers.  I'd like to be referred to as 'she', not 'he', by others even when they are not concentrating on getting the pronouns right.

In the images I post, I am careful about lighting, makeup, and camera angle to minimize the visual cues from my bone structure.  In person, the brow ridges, orbits of the eyes, nose to upper lip distance and a few other items will trigger the preoptic cortex into flagging me as 'male' to the perception of others.  If they are not concentrating on avoiding misgendering, I WILL be misgendered.

I know, I know.  I should just shrug it off, grow a pair, man up and ignore it.  Yah.  Not happening.   I worked hard to get to this point, where I am not misgendered by anyone depending on me for money.      Now I'm seeking to have FFS to reduce the miscues, reduce the misgendering, and improve my safety in public.

[Paige]

I know, I know.  I should just shrug it off, grow a pair, man up and ignore it.  Yah.  Not happening.   I worked hard to get to this point, where I am not misgendered by anyone depending on me for money.      Now I'm seeking to have FFS to reduce the miscues, reduce the misgendering, and improve my safety in public.

Hey Michelle,

Some of the same "arguments" could be made to people to not transition, to not take hormones, to not get electrolysis, to not train your voice  and to live the rest of their life in hell as the wrong gender.  FFS is just one of many methods of finding our true self.

Everyone needs to find their own path.  You have every right to yours.

Take care,
Paige

[Janes Groove]

I guess it's true what they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

[MissyMay2.0]

I've seen this before.  It makes valid commentary on issues of self-esteem and beauty.

Alas, my desire for Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) is not out of a desire for beauty, but to simply remove obvious male structural markers.  I'd like to be referred to as 'she', not 'he', by others even when they are not concentrating on getting the pronouns right.

In the images I post, I am careful about lighting, makeup, and camera angle to minimize the visual cues from my bone structure.  In person, the brow ridges, orbits of the eyes, nose to upper lip distance and a few other items will trigger the preoptic cortex into flagging me as 'male' to the perception of others.  If they are not concentrating on avoiding misgendering, I WILL be misgendered.

I know, I know.  I should just shrug it off, grow a pair, man up and ignore it.  Yah.  Not happening.   I worked hard to get to this point, where I am not misgendered by anyone depending on me for money.      Now I'm seeking to have FFS to reduce the miscues, reduce the misgendering, and improve my safety in public.

These are all valid concerns; best wishes for you upcoming FFS, and congratulations😊

[barbie]

This video has been on the site before, but it really drives home some important points. Yes, I  know it's an advertising campaign. It still drives home some important points.

https://www.dove.com/us/en/stories/campaigns/real-beauty-sketches.html

Interesting.

My case is the opposite to those women in the video. I see some subtle, but beautiful features in my face through the mirror, but most people do not see them 

barbie~~

[Charlie Nicki]

Nice video.

[Lyric]

That's a very interesting idea the Dove folks came up with-- having a police sketch artist draw women's faces from their own description and from others, then comparing. To me the sketches by other people always looked the most like the person. That may mean our own perception of our facial appearance is usually way off. It's no wonder Hollywood makeup artists always do a way better job than an actor herself. Maybe just being another person with a different perspective gives you a neutral advantage. We should probably all get out makeup done by other people, then compare it to what we would usually do on our own.

[Briah]

@Barbie--I suspect that people see the beautiful features, they are right there to see, but they, for what ever reason, ignore them.  How sad because you do have beautiful features.

Certainly one reason that we do not see ourselves as others see us is that in the mirror we are reversed thus confusing our brain.  However I struggle with selfies because they don't look quite like the mirror either.

Now and then I actually see the woman in the mirror--I just wish it was more often.