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Just came out to my 86 year old parents

Started by Kendra, July 16, 2017, 06:55:37 PM

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Kendra

Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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steph2.0

Quote from: Kendra on September 04, 2017, 11:34:29 PM

Awww Steph, your mom is so sweet.


Well, this has been quite the day. I had sent the same email update to my sister. In part of her reply she included this:

Quote

It will be a hard habit to break, but I hope it's ok if I start thinking about you as my sister and "her" and "she".


Um... let...  me... think...  about...   thisyesofcourseit'sok!

My wife wants to know why I'm leaking again.

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Kendra

My parents are supportive but have never seen me as Kendra until now.  They live in the US half the year and in Thailand the other half.  This photo was taken a few minutes after we met up in Osaka Japan.  My mom was astonished and very happy.  My dad is too, but he walked right by and didn't recognize me at first.


Kendra, mom, dad

We took a train to Kanazawa and passed Lake Biwa on the way.  My dad mentioned the last time he went by Lake Biwa his car was only 5 years old but pretty worn out, a 1950 Ford.  Broke two springs and a motor mount. Rural roads in Japan were gravel if they were good, otherwise mud and rock and occasionally driving through small rivers where there was no bridge.  Maybe that helps him understand my transition.  Not everything has to stay the same.




Lake Biwa in the distance

I rented an AirBnB in Kanazawa.  Kanazawa is on the west coast, not as heavily developed.  The previous time my mom visited Kanazawa was about 70 years ago.  We timed this trip to avoid peak vacation season in Japan but still able to see the cherry blossoms.  The scenery is even more stunning for me as my first springtime on HRT.  The colors, scenery, and enjoying life - finding ways to get through the rough roads to enjoy the good parts.












Kendra, dad, mom
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Jessica

Great pictures Kendra!  It's great that their first meeting of the real you went so well.

Hugs, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Gertrude

That's way cool


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Michelle_P

What a beautiful event and setting, with cherry blossoms!   Sakura, symbol of rebirth, so appropriate.

Kendra IS Sakura.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Cindy

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Kendra

Visited a neighborhood where several Samurai used to live, and went inside one house.  After that we headed over to 兼六園 (Kenroku-en), a huge garden continuously maintained near Kanazawa Castle since the 17th century.  I am so glad to have experienced this with HRT in my system... on a spring day, with parents I had previously assumed would reject my transition.  I can't quite adequately describe the beauty of this experience.









After lunch in the town's market area we went to Higashi Chaya, the Geisha counterpart to a Samurai neighborhood. 





We went inside Shima Teahouse which has a well preserved 200 year old interior. 





My first trip to Japan was 1969 and I have been here many times but this is the first time I've rented a car.  Trains are normally the best way to get around, but a few rural areas are out of reach by train.  We drove all the way around the Noto Peninsula - a combination of great ocean scenery and meticulously maintained fishing villages.

The following day we took the Shinkansen train from Kanazawa to Hakodate, on Japan's northern island where my mother was born.  I had made the trip by ferry in the 1970s.  For this trip we took a tunnel under the ocean.  15 miles (23km) of this train route is 800 feet (250m) below the ocean's surface. 



In Hakodate I experienced two great things I had never imagined before coming out.  Last night my mom and I went to a public women's-only hot springs bath.  She was planning go and was surprised when I said I'd go too.  Once there, everything felt normal and right.  Thanks to many hours of electrolysis, GCS, and increasing effects of HRT I blended in just fine. 

This morning my dad said "we should have had a daughter sooner."  I had to look away so they wouldn't see me quietly cry with happiness in a restaurant.  Moments I'll remember.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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steph2.0

Quote from: Kendra on April 08, 2018, 01:29:34 AMThis morning my dad said "we should have had a daughter sooner."  I had to look away so they wouldn't see me quietly cry with happiness in a restaurant.  Moments I'll remember.

I'm crying with you, Kendra (literally... I'm a mess). That may be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Seriously, that post should have had a warning label for "Emotional Content". (Or is it "Emotional Contentment?")

Stephanie

PS: I love your hair!


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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KathyLauren

Kendra, that is a beautiful story, with beautiful pictures, and I love your parents.  But this...

Quote from: Kendra on April 08, 2018, 01:29:34 AM
This morning my dad said "we should have had a daughter sooner."  I had to look away so they wouldn't see me quietly cry with happiness in a restaurant.  Moments I'll remember.

... made me cry, too.  Wow!  Just wow!  What a lovely thing for your dad to say!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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HappyMoni

Wow, what a sweet thing for him to say!

Can't see pics for some reason.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

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Gertrude

Wow, Japan is beautiful. I've always been interested in Hokkaido. Have you been up that way or northern Honshū? 


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Kendra

Quote from: Gertrude on April 08, 2018, 10:06:42 AM
Wow, Japan is beautiful. I've always been interested in Hokkaido. Have you been up that way or northern Honshū? 

I left Hokkaido this morning - my parents are coming back to the US on a different schedule.  We took a day trip to Sapporo yesterday, stopped on the way back in a small fishing village where my mom was born.  First time I had sushi was in Hokkaido, I was 6 years old.  I remember a train ride in Hokkaido a few years after that (1973) where I complained to my mom how slow the train was, the seats were wood with no padding.  That train line was decommissioned two years later - it was the last steam train in Japan used for regular passenger service.

Japan is beautiful but I didn't take or upload photos of areas that are not as interesting - the jumble of buildings in many cities.  Cherry blossoms are a bonus if the timing is right.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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