what a dating website for post op transwomen?

[Lana E]

Does anyone know of any clubs, or dating websites  where hetero men go to meet posy op trans females?

[Nina]

My opinion is why? I met my future husband on a vanilla dating site. Woman seeking man was my hope, not post op seeks man.

[Devlyn]

Agreed. Any dating site will do, and you can simply state that you're a post-op transsexual woman. Good luck finding a partner.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Chloe]

. . . to meet posy op trans females?

LOL I could interpret "posy op" to mean FFS rather than GRS. And if yer man is willing to accept & learn there's ways-and-means around everything!

I will spare you "the details" . . . 

[Ellement_of_Freedom]

I agree any dating site will do... but you don't need to out yourself in your bio section. Just tell those that need to know (the ones that are interested in you). You never know who will stumble across your bio and not every Tom, Dick and Harry has to know your business. Just my opinion!

[HappyMoni]

My apologies to Lana if this is viewed as a derailment of your thread. I have wondered about something and maybe it is related enough to fit here. I was curious of good places just to talk to other people(online). I don't know how I would flirt with someone as a woman. I would like a place just to talk to guys, practice my social skills, if you will. (I'm not free to date) If such a place existed, could it not be a springboard to more if someone were free to do so?

[Devlyn]

I agree any dating site will do... but you don't need to out yourself in your bio section. Just tell those that need to know (the ones that are interested in you). You never know who will stumble across your bio and not every Tom, Dick and Harry has to know your business. Just my opinion!

She did say that she wanted men who are interested in post-op women, why cast a wide net for  every Tom, Dick, and Harry when you can filter them out?

My apologies to Lana if this is viewed as a derailment of your thread. I have wondered about something and maybe it is related enough to fit here. I was curious of good places just to talk to other people(online). I don't know how I would flirt with someone as a woman. I would like a place just to talk to guys, practice my social skills, if you will. (I'm not free to date) If such a place existed, could it not be a springboard to more if someone were free to do so?

I'm a member of a TG social group, it's different from a support group in that the events are open to the public, with admirers welcome. I've had a few conversations with some of them, they were all respectful. They tend to be very aware of transgender issues, and also aware of the topics that can trigger so many of us. I think as a community we tend to build walls, every now and then it's helpful to knock those walls down and see who's on the other side.

It might be out of your range, but the FishN.E.T.S. FB group runs events from Maine to Connecticut, often in hotel/convention centers. Wives are usually there, maybe you and your spouse could make a weekend out of one of the events.

Hugs, Devlyn

[HappyMoni]

Thanks Devlyn, I do feel the need to experience new people, break down some walls. I love talking to trans people, but it is too safe for me to grow in ways I want to grow. I'm a woman who has never dealt with so many things other woman have dealt with.

[TaraJo]

I don't think there's any kind of dating site specificly for post op trans women.  Pre op, yeah, but besides some of the creep-factor issues with the guys you meet there, I think you kinda lose one of the traits that's really important to them when you become post-op.

Anyway, go to OKCupid or, if you want something a little "spicier" try Fetlife or Tindr or whatever singles site you can find.  Hell, I even know of a local singles group on facebook.  Plenty of places to look, y'know. 

Whether you choose to identify as trans is up to you.  If you out yourself, you'll probably face more rejection but truth is, the guy is going to have to find out some time anyway.  If you tell them up front, there's less chance of them finding out at a bad time and reacting badly.  But I also understand wanting to get away from always having to tell everyone you're trans and having your trans status control your personal life and always having that cloud, following you around everywhere.  And, yeah, I've even had a time or two that I enjoyed flirting a little bit with guys who don't know I'm trans.  So I know why someone might want to not be out right away, but it also feels a little too dangerous for me.

[Megan.]

I don't think there's any kind of dating site specificly for post op trans women.  Pre op, yeah, but besides some of the creep-factor issues with the guys you meet there, I think you kinda lose one of the traits that's really important to them when you become post-op...

Or maybe they're just more interested in the person not the parts. It's unfair on those people who may be attracted to our strength, intelligence and beauty to suggest they're only after a woman (Cis or Trans) for their body and nothing else.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Devlyn]

I don't think there's any kind of dating site specificly for post op trans women.  Pre op, yeah, but besides some of the creep-factor issues with the guys you meet there, I think you kinda lose one of the traits that's really important to them when you become post-op.

Anyway, go to OKCupid or, if you want something a little "spicier" try Fetlife or Tindr or whatever singles site you can find.  Hell, I even know of a local singles group on facebook.  Plenty of places to look, y'know. 

Whether you choose to identify as trans is up to you.  If you out yourself, you'll probably face more rejection but truth is, the guy is going to have to find out some time anyway.  If you tell them up front, there's less chance of them finding out at a bad time and reacting badly.  But I also understand wanting to get away from always having to tell everyone you're trans and having your trans status control your personal life and always having that cloud, following you around everywhere.  And, yeah, I've even had a time or two that I enjoyed flirting a little bit with guys who don't know I'm trans.  So I know why someone might want to not be out right away, but it also feels a little too dangerous for me.

It never ceases to amaze me that people who don't want to be judged on their gender are so quick to judge others on their sexuality.

[emma-f]

Does anyone know of any clubs, or dating websites  where hetero men go to meet posy op trans females?

Have you tried mytranssexualdate? I know of other post op women on there who do meet people. By the very nature of the beast they're ->-bleeped-<-s, but any site specifically for trans women to date will attract ->-bleeped-<-s. I think as trans women we have 2 options of dating sites/apps:

1. Go onto a site specifically for us, and therefore accept that the men/women on there are specially there because they want a transwoman, and are therefore your usual ->-bleeped-<-s; or
2. Go onto a normal site, point out in our bio that we're trans and hope that at least some of the people we "match" with are cool enough to not be bothered by the trans thing

In my experience of them both as a pre-op woman (and I have been on dating sites a lot) the trans-specific sites get a very high proportion of creeps and guys or girls who treat us like a fetish or an experience to tick off. On the normal sites a good proportion are bothered by the trans issue but a fair few aren't bothered by it at all.

Good luck with it all, and let us know how it goes!

Em x

[HappyMoni]

This is one of those threads where I can see it has the potential to go down in flames. I hope not, let's not fight. Listen, I don't want to be rude to anyone above who has commented, I really don't. If I go on a site and talk to someone, I have an agenda of who I'm looking for. It might be a person to casually talk to, maybe I am interested in a relationship, or maybe I just want a hookup. Every other person on that site has an agenda of their own. Who am I to judge their agenda. Well, if they are mean or disrespectful, yeah, I get it. But if someone finds me attractive for being a post op trans woman, I'll take that the same way as if someone liked  me for being a brunette or a certain height. I don't like being called the negative words for being transgender.  It's derogatory in my view. If I want sex and have big boobs, hook up with someone who likes big boobs, well, that sounds like a good match. He isn't a 'big boob ->-bleeped-<-.' Of course, if I want a relationship and someone only cares about my body and not my mind, there's a word for that, 'not a match.' (well 3 words, lol) To me, when we look down on someone who might be intrigued about our transformation, its kind of sad, like we don't really have the confidence in ourselves to just take them for who they are. If that person cares about my mind and is attracted to my trans situation, I would not kick them to the curb cause they like me being trans.

Well, hopefully, that was respectful on my part. I wanted to give my thought on this.


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[emma-f]

I do apologise if you think that I was being disrespectful and I also apologise as I used the term ->-bleeped-<- inadvisedly (although of the site I mentioned, as the op wanted a site where post op women were catered for, and its the one that I know, many of the men on there use that term themselves).

Other than that, I'm merely giving my opinion on the site and the men that are on that site. In my experience, and I can only advise on my experience, they're creepy. They ask things that no proper person should ever ask, they make really weird suggestions, they are transparent in that they are either looking for a quick one night stand experience to tick off the list or for you to be a dirty little secret. Are there men on there who are actually looking for a relationship, or someone to treat properly or with dignity? I'm sure there are but speaking solely from my experience I didn't speak to any.

Again, I can only say that in terms of dating I've had more personal luck on Tinder. Now maybe I don't want somebody who wants me because I'm trans, but somebody who is ok with it, and therefore maybe I look at it from a different angle. Maybe that does make me kind of sad, I don't know, thats for others to judge I suppose.

But anyway, I apologise again. I didn't want to offend anyone

[HappyMoni]

Hey Emma, my post came right after yours which probably looked like I was specifically speaking to your post. I really wasn't. It was more of a general thing for me. I have always felt uncomfortable lumping people  together preferring to judge people one at a time, based on there actions.  I know there are people who act 'creepy' and disrespectful. In my head, when  a group of folks gets lumped together with a derogatory name,  the world gets a little meaner. I know  I am the exception here, but the term queer was used in my day with such venomous hatred that I can't adapt it. The 'N' word has certainly perpetuated a lot of hate. Maybe I am not realistic in how I view the world, maybe oversensitive, but I think we can all agree the world could use some help to be a better place. My thought!
So, if it seemed like I was targeting you, I apologize. It isn't my style to do something like that. I respect your right to express your opinion and wasn't personally offended by you. Hope we are good! To the thread, sorry for the tangent.

[emma-f]

Not at all Moni, even if not directed at me the point was still valid, I used ->-bleeped-<- in the perjorative and you are correct, I shouldn't have. A person who actually has an attraction to trans women can be a wonderful thing (so long as they're not also creepy obviously! lol)

Anyway yes, I agree to the thread, sorry for the tangent 

To continue with the tangent, when I first started looking at dating sites a lot of openly post op women seemed to be on POF. No idea if its any good though