I need you...

Corastrasza · April 09, 2018, 03:30:10 AM

If you're reading this, that means you care even a little bit. I need people who care. It's been almost 2 years since I came out to my family and its just now starting to seem real. Like my parents will talk to me about it sometimes, they dont act like its an off limits topic any more. But my dad specifically has been really sketchy about it. Like he says hes ok with it and just wants me to be happy but then the other day i posted pictures of myself with makeup on wearing dresses to my facebook (reasonably tasteful photos ;p) and he COMEPLETELY LOST HIS ->-bleeped-<-. Like screaming at the top of his lungs because he doesnt want "future employers" to see them... Now, I am living with my parents and unemployed at the moment but I have been working through mental health issues, trying to get my meds right lately. I guess, to put it simply, refer to the subject of the thread.. I need you. I need someone to talk to... btw, if you care. my instagram is www.instagram.com/_.tra_.p I just need someone to talk to, if this gets one response I will be happy. Just to know that someone understands and gives a ->-bleeped-<-(because I feel like theres noone in my life right now who understands AND gives a ->-bleeped-<-) that would be great right now.. love yous

Cindy · April 09, 2018, 04:09:02 AM

We care Hon, I know it is hard especially if you are living with family. Is there any chance of moving out and finding some work?

I've no idea where you are and the difficulties of course.

Sometimes finding some work, any work is a start to getting independence.

Corastrasza · April 09, 2018, 04:15:28 AM

yeah my girlfriend is getting a new apartment and wants me to move in. which will be good. I just stated lithium for manic depression so until my levels are stable, I shouldnt try to start a new job

Cindy · April 09, 2018, 04:20:39 AM

Hey, That starts to sound like a plan. Maybe putting up with Dad's ravings and getting settled before moving out with your girl friend. Maybe you can start planning stuff with her about what stuff you both need and that sort of stuff?

Corastrasza · April 09, 2018, 04:24:01 AM

yeah, she is fine on her own. shes one of the strongest people I know, she has overcome so much to be as successful as she is. she just doesnt understand the stuff I go thru. but shes always supportive of me.

Allison S · April 09, 2018, 08:43:56 AM

We do understand and care.
You look lovely! I had an instagram with my "crossdressing" photos too. And facebook but it was a second account I would join trans support groups and no one in real life knew about.

I really can't wait to come out in real life, and it seems you have? That must be such a scary yet exhilirating thing to do.
Except your dads reaction was awful.. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Our families and sometimes friends can be so mixed up in their own emotions, feelings and biases on someone close to them transitioning.

It's not exactly the same for me (haven't told my parents yet) but my sisters recognized my changes on hrt and called my bluff. It really affirms to me why I've kept things in for so long... but I envy when people are open about who they are

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pamelatransuk · April 09, 2018, 08:59:37 AM

Hello Corastrasza

I am much older than you but I do know how you feel. My parents are now in another place and my mother whom I loved dearly never liked my being trans and mainly tried to ignore it and inadvertently made some hurtful comments. I forgive her only because she didn't understand the issue.

I'm sorry your dad now opposes your situation and I hope you can move when the time is right.

I wish you all the best on solving all your problems including the manic depression.

I promise you people here on Susans do understand and do care.

Pamela

Corastrasza · April 09, 2018, 09:19:27 AM

Quote from: Allison S on April 09, 2018, 08:43:56 AM
We do understand and care.
You look lovely! I had an instagram with my "crossdressing" photos too. And facebook but it was a second account I would join trans support groups and no one in real life knew about.

I really can't wait to come out in real life, and it seems you have? That must be such a scary yet exhilirating thing to do.
Except your dads reaction was awful.. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Our families and sometimes friends can be so mixed up in their own emotions, feelings and biases on someone close to them transitioning.

It's not exactly the same for me (haven't told my parents yet) but my sisters recognized my changes on hrt and called my bluff. It really affirms to me why I've kept things in for so long... but I envy when people are open about who they are

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

thanks so much. yeah I'm pretty much out to everyone in my family. I know theres alot of judgement but I wouldnt change the fact that I came out. It feels better to not have to keep it a secret, especially when you find people who are proud of you and supportive

Corastrasza · April 09, 2018, 09:22:58 AM

Quote from: pamelatransuk on April 09, 2018, 08:59:37 AM
Hello Corastrasza

I am much older than you but I do know how you feel. My parents are now in another place and my mother whom I loved dearly never liked my being trans and mainly tried to ignore it and inadvertently made some hurtful comments. I forgive her only because she didn't understand the issue.

I'm sorry your dad now opposes your situation and I hope you can move when the time is right.

I wish you all the best on solving all your problems including the manic depression.

I promise you people here on Susans do understand and do care.

Pamela

thank you

. thanks to people like you on this site I have been able to work through alot of issues. its amazing how much better it can make you feel just to talk to someone whos been through the same types of struggles. also I'm moving out in about a week, so looking forward to it

Jessica · April 09, 2018, 09:36:34 AM

It sounds like you are moving in the right direction! I think your dads reaction was over the top, but it may be his own insecurities and issues that have put him there. Anyone and especially family all experience their own personal trauma and growth. Your dad may be holding on to his last cry for who he had seen as you for your whole life prior to you coming out.
Maybe he can find a way to reach an accord through therapy. Your dads reaction does show he cares but he doesn't understand.

Charlie Nicki · April 12, 2018, 02:39:53 AM

I care as well! I'm glad you are here to talk about your issues, we support each other in this community. I really liked your pictures and can see you will become a beautiful woman in the near future.

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MarieLouise1982 · April 12, 2018, 04:12:25 AM

Everyone cares on here , I've recently found that out for myself. You must remember that not everyone is going to like what your doing. Regardless of what you do in your life , there will always be someone who isn't keen on it. They may over time get over it or you will learn to ignore there nasty comments.

You look amazing and sound a real nice girl , I'm sure you'll never be short of friends.

Remember you can always talk or vent on here , be it in the forum or having a private message with someone on here.

I hope your well

Hugs

Marie x

Sno · April 12, 2018, 04:27:52 AM

Relax hon, this is Susan's. The best place for folk on t'interwebs.

We are all in the same boat, with similar challenges, and at differing points in our journeys - if you were looking for folk to chat, then you've found us. I promise we don't bite, unless it's invited, and all we can do is offer the warmest of welcomes, and a big (hug)

Rowan

BlueJaye · April 13, 2018, 09:28:59 AM

Hi, Corastrazsa. Just curious, do you have any medical assistance in your transition?

Two things that I have found very helpful are a good therapist and HRT. I know from your posts that you currently don't have employment, but hear me out. Maybe this will help you set some goals to work toward.

First, maintain your online presence. If you find a good therapist and want to pursue hormonal therapy, it's necessary to show that you have more than six months of history with gender dysphoria. Most therapists will not write a support letter for HRT without demonstrating a long history with gender dysphoria. Your online posts and history can help establish your history and demonstrate the intensity of your suffering and need for medical assistance.

Second, find a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues. People who don't specialize in this type of issue have a lot of unhelpful misconceptions about our struggles.

Third, if your therapist supports, I have found HRT to be immensely helpful for mental health stability. I am less than a week into my HRT prescriptions, and already I have experienced a very noticeable calmness and stability with my mental health. Your mileage may vary, but I kick myself for having not done this many years sooner.

Lastly, stay active here and try to find support groups and other groups to support you. Being transgender is among the hardest things a person can experience.

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