Biggest steps have been made (coming out)

[gwencook]

Hey all,
So I recently made a post titled baby steps in which I told about events with me telling my mom about the true me but that it was only half way there.
Well over the weekend we had a bigger discussion and she now knows fully that once I come back from being abroad in 12 months I intend to be fully out and live life as the true me.
She knows im going to go to voice therapy and plan to have a lot of surgeries and this is where she started crying as she said to her it was like her child was dying as shed never be able to hear her sons voice, or see his face again, which to be honest killed me inside but I refused to change my mind or apologise for who I am.
She also stated that if i were just a cross dresser or drag queen shed be able to cope better but she's read a bit online about how much the surgeries will hurt and she's really worried about how much pain I'm going to be in.
Despite her saying that she understands I need to do this to make me happy in life she said that the way things currently stand there is no way I can live with her while I'm transitioning as shed feel like im shoving it down her throat and she said she's not ready for that. Hopefully things may change in the next 12 months but ibcant help bit wonder if I'm being selfish in thinning how I look shouldnt matter with me living with her or of she is being selfish?
Either way she reminded me shed never hate me or stop talking to me or cut me out her life and that even on the days of my surgeries she will be right there at the hospital to support me and make sure I'm OK
Much love xox

[xAmyX]

That's wonderful that you have your mother's support. Negativity is usually an unwelcome occurrence, and having support, especially from key people in your life is absolutely appreciated, aiding in the prevention of unnecessary setbacks. 

[Northstar]

{{{BIG BIG HUGS}}}

So happy for you, Gwen!

Perhaps your mom (and you) might look into local PFLAG chapters that discuss Trans* issues?  I know of several uncertain but supportive parents who have benefitted greatly from our local chapters.

[ReplacementSarah]

I don't think you're being selfish to feel that your looks shouldn't matter, but your mom is grieving a loss and she's going to need time to work through those feelings. It sounds like she's trying to be supportive, though, and with any luck she'll eventually realize that she's actually gaining a daughter.

[CarlyMcx]

There is nothing selfish about doing what you have to do to take care of your physical, mental and emotional health.

Your mom is entitled to mourn the loss of the man she thought you were, but she is not entitled to claim property rights in that identity and force you to stay in it.

She is seemingly ignoring the fact that you are her daughter, and that you will emerge from therapy a better person in every way.  Hopefully if she gets some therapy or support herself, she can learn to appreciate the person you truly are rather than the one she thought you were.

[gwencook]

Thank you lovelies 😊
To be fair to my mom she has been researching up about trans matters so she is taking it seriously and trying to educate herself. Hopefully it won't be long before she realises she has two daughters (me and my sister) and I can carry on being me
Much love, xox