I started transition at the age of 35 and completed my transition at the age of 38.
I never considered 'passing' to be the goal of my transition, simply because I don't ever want to tie my happiness to other people's perceptions of me.
However, I have been extraordinarily lucky. I'm happy with my body AND I pass in pretty much all situations - even locker rooms, dating, and in bed with a guy.
This is a blessing, but it also comes with pitfalls. People in my office unwittingly make homophobic and transphobic jokes in front of me - some of them are pretty offensive. Dealing with normal conversational questions about the first 35 years of my life is tricky too. It's a lot of your life to erase or avoid talking about. I tend to make case by case decisions about how to deal with this. Sometimes I'll evade the questions, other times I'll choose to disclose.
In the beginning of transition, I was so worried about what people were thinking about me. At the end of transition, what I was really worried about was the sheer number of microagressions women deal with every day. It has taken me a long time to figure out new ways of communicating and influencing people - the kinds of behaviour traits that are desirable in men are socially punishable in women. Confidence, assertiveness, tenacity, competitiveness - these traits are not well received in women. I'm also a female in a male dominated industry. Men, very few of whom know my history, don't value my contribution, don't trust me, and expect me to provide their emotional support. It's a pretty big adjustment to deal with mid-way through your career.
FFS made the single biggest difference in the way other people perceived me. Since my FFS nobody has ever looked twice at me or read me as trans. That said, I still mourn for a lost youth sometimes.
I've been completely accepted by all cis females in my life. They have helped me grow, have been there for me whilst I changed emotionally, and have shared a lot of deeply personal experiences about their own lives. I've made friends who have laughed with me, cried with me, and welcomed me. I've learned more about sexual assault and the sinister side of gender as a structure of power than any MeToo movement could teach.
It's completely possible to have a successful transition in your thirties with a good endo and potentially a surgery or two. But it takes time. You will live several years of your life very visibly between genders. I had people call me ma'am and sir, sometimes both in the same sentence. Young kids on the train used to ask me point blank whether I was a boy or a girl - I never had an answer which would satisfy them. The CEO of my company sent an email to 1,000 of my business associates notifying them that I had changed my name and gender. If you're not too worried about what other people are thinking, if you are patient and just enjoy the little changes over time, transition in your 30's can be very successful.
Good luck.
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