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Update!

Started by Kokoro, May 12, 2018, 03:32:43 AM

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Kokoro

Hi everyone,

Sorry that I seem to have disappeared for the past few weeks. I've been in the process of moving from one country to another and I have been extremely busy, sorting out a lot forms, change of address, looking for a car and job and so many other things that I didn't realise I needed to do.

So my move back from Japan to UK is now more or less complete. Lots has happened and I'm not sure where to start.


First thing, I had a final session at the salon in Japan the day before I left. One of my male friends wanted to meet 'me' but I didn't want to make our last time together for several years all about me, so we decided to meet for the day as normal for 3 or 4 hours, then we went to the salon and I would get changed and he'd come back a short time later. I told him I would only take about 45mins. I ended up taking 1 and a half hours!

When I sent the message to come to the salon, he was very surprised at how I looked. His reaction was 100% positive, owing to the fact he has a couple of trans friends already. We then went outside and after a short walk came to an arcade and had some purikura photos taken. Purikura is basically a photo-booth that makes you look 'cute' and fabulous by enlarging eyes, removing skin imperfections and making lips glossy. You can then edit the photos however you like, adding stencils, messages, changing the background colour etc. It's an activity often done by girlfriends and occasionally a couple. In-fact in most arcades boys are forbidden unless accompanied by a girl. I enjoyed it very much.

After that we went to a cafe and had some coffee/tea and cake. I couldn't believe how good the cake was! It put a lot of afternoon tea cafes in England to shame! We had a nice relaxing time and just chatted. That's when he told me that, if he hadn't known, he would never have known I was male! This made me so happy! After that a wave of serenity came over me and I was perhaps the most relaxed I've ever been in a social setting in my entire life. We only manged to grab a few pics while we were out and even few of just me, but here is the best one, of me having my cake and eating it no less:




After that we headed back to the salon to say goodbye. I thanked my friend for coming to see me and we hugged for a long time. I went back into the salon and for the next couple of hours I tried on a several outfits. Since it was going to be my last time I tried on a lot of things that even a cis-woman wouldn't normally get to wear like costumes and certain kinds of lingerie. I'll refrain from posting those, but here are a couple of more 'decent' photos:




It was a long, fun day. The girls at the salon wanted me to come back after I have transitioned and I promised I would. It may take me several years but I would be back.

The next two days involved 2 long-haul flights and I was a walking zombie by the end of it. As my train started to approach my station, thoughts turned to my Dad who would be meeting me there along with my Mum. The last time we spoke was the first time since he was told about me. I was getting very apprehensive and stressed about what his reception was going to be like. When I got off he waved and smiled from the end of the platform. When I got closer he came up and hugged me and told me it was great to have me home. He was perfectly fine, as normal with me. We stopped off on the way home to grab some fish and chips and everything was fine.

Since then the topic has come up a couple of times. He doesn't like it at all, but he still wants to know how I'm doing in terms of progressing. At one point the topic of me going to another city a couple of months came up and he said that I'd be welcome to stay a lot longer if I wasn't doing that 'silly thing'. After what was a good 2 or 3 mins of silence he suddenly came out with 'I'm no saying you can't ever come and visit again, y'know'. I replied with 'I know' and then heard him sniff. I looked over and he was tearing up. I put my hand on his arm and told him it was going to be alright. It's actually my Dad who has shown the most emotion out of everyone I've told. He is struggling. But not in the way I anticipated. I was expecting a lot of anger. But what I've seen is a lot of sadness. I'm not sure how to support him that way, though my Mum assures me he will be OK in time.

As far as coming along with my transition goes, I'm only a week or two away from starting hormones. I've been seeing Dr Webberley through GenderGP and he and his team have been amazing. I've also in the process of being refferred to a Gender Identity Clinic so I can get on their lengthy waiting lists. For the immediate future, I'll looking at getting a car  and finding a job and a little later down the line, a house/flat to rent. A friend would be interested in sharing a house together in the same city so hopefully something comes along there.

Once I start hormones I intent to start a thread as a kind of diary. I'm going to try and be a bit scientific about the changes I experience so I'll be measuring and weighing myself every couple of weeks and logging the changes as well as commenting on any other changes that I can't really measure.

So yea, that was my update post!
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Laurie

Hi Kokoro,

  I just read your update and found it to be a good one. Thank you for it. I am glad you have about finished moving back to the UK.
  I just want to say that I think I can relate to what your father is going through. Be easy on him, he is trying. That much is obvious but it is hard on him. Yes you are the same you but to your father he is not gaining a daughter. He is losing his son. He loves you and wants you to be happy but his acceptance will take time. I believe it will happen and he will welcome his new daughter. After all daughters are special to dads also, just in a different way.
  I think I am qualified to respond to this because I have lost both of my children. My son was lost due to a heart condition a few years ago and my Daughter, son in law and 5 grandchildren due to their inability to accept my transitioning. These have been very difficult for me and brought me close to ending my life.
  I do not think you have to be concerned for your father doing anything of the like but Hun, it is difficult for him. Give him your love and time to work it out.

My best to you and a big hug,
  Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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davina61

Welcome back home , I am sure you have seen it (if you have not been on it) there is a "where in the uk are you" thread.Someone might be close to you. Keep giving you dad hugs
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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Alyssa Bree

Hi Kokoro!

First things first. I spent three months in Japan in 1993, mostly in Tokyo (particularly the Akihabara district) and I loved every second of it. Just an all-around fantastic time.

Family situations seem to be the hardest ones of all. These are the people we love the most...we grew up loving them and them us. My family situation deteriorated after I came out to them - except for my daughters. That may largely be a generational thing. They are 13 and it was never even an issue for them. The fact that your father is trying (my parents did not) is great.

Oh also...I just have to say that your photos are just awesome! You look so happy, beautiful and feminine. You are going to rock this thing!

xoxoxo
Alyssa
Your NEEDS drive your WANTS which drive your ACTIONS. To not take action is to not meet your needs.

I am like an archaeological excavation - being uncovered piece by piece, slowly...methodically... until all of the real ME stands proud in the light of day.
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Sonja

Hi Kokoro!

First of all - We missed you!!  You look great in your new photos, I always love seeing your bright eyes and big smile - you look beautiful. Well done on making it back to old blighty safely.
It sounds like your family reunion went pretty well all things considered.  I think for close family (and spouses) there is no doubt the stress in their minds of how they and others will perceive and relate to you. As time goes on - If you can keep showing them how it(your relationship with them)  can work and stay positive and cheerful then your family will hopefully realize that their positive relationship with you is far more important than any negative attitudes that might creep in from others and you and your family might have a bright future.

I really like the name 'Kokoro' ! even if you are not Japanese, are you going to keep it or are you thinking of other names?

Take care,

Sonja.
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pamelatransuk

Hello Kokoro

I followed your stories from Japan and am glad you have now moved back to UK where we have many members - I live in Lancashire.

Give your Dad time and I'm sure things will work out fine.

Aswell as "Where in the UK are you" thread there is also a few threads this year on GenderGP where again there are many Susans' members including me.

I wish you every happiness both in your family life and on your transition journey.

Hugs

Pamela


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CallmeMegan

Hi Kokoro

Welcome back to the UK. I am just starting out on my transition and the girls here are the first people I have come out to. Hoping to start on HRT soon and I hope that will help me to speak with family friends and work about transitioning. You are lucky to have had friends in Japan who have been supportive and encouraging.

I have a friend who's daughter transitioned to make and she struggled initially with the "loss" but she stood by him and now he has had some surgery they are really close. So stick with it and your family will all eventually back you when they see how happy you are.

Just like to say that you look great in your photos. Hope that looking that good will help you on your journey. You would pass no bother as you are  ;).

Megan x
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