Anxious after therapy - need advice!

[blackcat]

Can anyone tell me what I need to expect and if this is normal?

I had my first meeting with a gender therapist and the therapist himself was AWESOME. He was super knowledgeable about trans issues, discouraged gender policing ("I just want you to know that FtMs are allowed to knit, too"), there was no judgment or invasive questioning. That part was good.

I was planning to roll in once a month because I'm not in an urgent state of mind that requires immediate intervention. My relationships, work life, etc., are good, yes, I have dysphoria, but working toward transition has reformed my frame of mind (having a plan motivates me, instead of leaving me feel helpless in despair). Also, I am not planning to transition until next spring - but to get the ball rolling with the surgeon I want, I will need a WPATH letter for top surgery to book a consultation six months from now, in order to go ahead with transition in the spring.

The office I went to had a very aggressive payment policy. Pages and pages of stuff, had to write in credit card numbers (why this isn't electronic is odd to me). I understand services providers have to protect themselves, etc. (I do the same thing in my field, but these forms were over the top.)

Then at the end, it was aggressively recommended that I visit weekly for eight weeks, and then switch to bi-weekly.

I don't need that much therapy. Period. I really don't.

While my session was interesting, I don't think it was $125 worth of interesting, and I didn't get many new things out of it. I need to be there for the letter. I wouldn't mind some guidance, too, but not at $500/month.

I explained my need for a schedule and the letter, and was given vague answers with no guarantee. That, coupled with the pressure to spend $500/month on therapy, made me seriously question that if I do not pay to play, will I still get a letter? I have read horror stories of people getting screwed out of a letter, and that could set my transition back an additional year. This therapy is a HUGE financial investment (and I have to drive an hour to get there).

Some offices require only three visits. Others require therapy for a year. Requirements vary. This particular place has no concrete system in place, which is unsettling.

The office doesn't accept insurance. But I can apply for in-house financial assistance. They need my social, my tax returns, a boatload of pay stubs, and the paperwork I was given to fill out to apply for assistance is worse than what I had to go through for student loans.

In my quest for therapists, I received correspondence from one other therapist with availability, so I asked her straight up about my needs, and what her expectations were.

I'm not sure what to do.

All I know is that, once I came clean with myself and admitted that I needed to transition, I haven't experienced a single day of anxiety... until... I went to therapy. 

Is it normal to be pressured to attend therapy so frequently? Especially if your life is otherwise happy and healthy?

Thanks, everyone. <3

[Dena]

The office may not accept insurance but ask if they will bill insurance. Normally the insurance company would send a check to the doctor and that money could be returned to you or applied to latter sessions. If your paying at the time of service. The paper work may be a bit of overkill however it sounds like your applying for assistance and in that case, expect a pile of paper work.

The amount of therapy required might be less after you have enough sessions so the doctor is comfortable you have covered all your issues. When your starting, it's difficult to know just what you need to deal with and how open you are will also determine the number of sessions you'll require. Discuss this with your therapist at your next session and if your uncomfortable with the answers, you might want to look for another therapist.

[blackcat]

Thanks, Dena.

Unfortunately, I don't have insurance. I HAVE to get it as soon as the marketplace opens back up this year, though... especially if I'm doing all of these things now.

I emailed the therapist I saw, and I found another one I can do a consultation with (who also recommends weekly appointments to start). There's no way I can afford weekly visits, but I do have a lot of time, so I'm crossing my fingers that I can find someone who is willing to be direct with me about expectations and move at a slower pace.

[Dena]

I am not sure on this point because I didn't qualify for the market place and was on a private policy running over $600 a month until I qualified for medicare. I believe if your a first time buyer, you can purchase a market place policy at any time. It would have to work this way because somebody could lose their job and their insurance at any time. If they couldn't access the market place at any time, they would be without a policy until the window opened. With other policies, the window is a time when you can switch to another insurance company if your unhappy with the last policy you were on. Nose around a little bit if your ready for insurance because I know you can pick up a private policy at any time however I am not real clear on the market place.