Gender and sex ~ helping my dysphoria

[karenk1959]

Hi, an interesting thing happened the other day. I have always thought I was a non-transitioning TG MTF. I don't want to transition in order to preserve my marriage and long-lasting relationships with my kids and friends. I have had gender dysphoria for a while now.

I have never thought about how I feel about my gender when it comes to having sex. My wife and I have wonderful sex that excites me to no end. Although other times I feel like being more feminine, I have come to realize that I like my male anatomy while having sex. I love my penis ~ what it does, where it goes, how it feels and what my wife says about it.

That realization has significantly reduced my gender dysphoria. It is a relief to know that I don't need to change my body since I am terrified of meds, surgery, not passing, prejudice and discrimination ~ all things that I think will worsen my depression. I'm no longer sure where I fall on the gender spectrum. I don't care about labels because we are all individuals, but maybe I am non-binary or gender fluid. 

I would love to hear if anyone has any thoughts or insights.

[Sylvia]

Hi Karen, my partner also loves his penis and we have a wonderful sex life. I have to say, we are doing more 'girl sex' these days but he still very much uses his penis, and enjoys it. He thinks he is gender fluid too, but a bit more female than male. He doesn't want full transition or to come out in public, but is looking into low dose HRT.

Syl

[karenk1959]

Thanks Syl!!!

[Dani]

There are many people with gender dysphoria who for any number of reasons do not want to transition. While this is an acceptable option for some people, including myself. Things changed when the reasons to not transition went away.

I am a late transitioner and I decided to transition when my family obligations were fulfilled and my marriage was over. I still had severe gender dysphoria and the only viable option was for me to transition, so I made a plan, worked the plan and never looked back. Now that I am more than 2 years post-op, I still haven't looked back.

We just do what we feel is the right thing to do at the proper time. Keep your options open. You never know what will happen in the future.

[BlueJaye]

Hi, an interesting thing happened the other day. I have always thought I was a non-transitioning TG MTF. I don't want to transition in order to preserve my marriage and long-lasting relationships with my kids and friends. I have had gender dysphoria for a while now.

I have never thought about how I feel about my gender when it comes to having sex. My wife and I have wonderful sex that excites me to no end. Although other times I feel like being more feminine, I have come to realize that I like my male anatomy while having sex. I love my penis ~ what it does, where it goes, how it feels and what my wife says about it.

That realization has significantly reduced my gender dysphoria. It is a relief to know that I don't need to change my body since I am terrified of meds, surgery, not passing, prejudice and discrimination ~ all things that I think will worsen my depression. I'm no longer sure where I fall on the gender spectrum. I don't care about labels because we are all individuals, but maybe I am non-binary or gender fluid. 

I would love to hear if anyone has any thoughts or insights.

Count yourself very blessed. I have the double whammy of finding my male anatomy and it's functions very distressing and also having a wife who hates intercourse and is not very fond of my penis. She has even told me that the loss of my penis would be the easiest thing to accept if I were to fully transition and have GRS.

So, you can imagine that in the years prior to coming out to my wife I had some BIG struggles regarding my male stuff and what it does. I had naively hoped that getting married and having a regular sex life would cure my dysphoria. Oh, no, not at all. I married somebody who seems to detest my male bits almost as much as I do. This led to a lot of depression and anger, and even some self harm trying to damage the offending anatomy because I hated it so much.

[Cora]

My spouse says he really enjoys having sex with me, he says he feels so present and his dysphoria lessens when we are having sex.

So, I feel you are not alone in that respect!

That said, unfortunately, I can't be having sex with my spouse 24/7, so I'm not sure how my spouse wants to deal with dysphoria when we are not having sex! LOL