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Still feeling worthless after SRS

Started by ScarletRed, April 23, 2018, 12:56:22 AM

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ScarletRed

So I had SRS and my body dysphoria is finally gone. But I still feel worthless especially when I think about dating. I can't shake the feeling that nobody would ever want me. I know I did the right thing having SRS but I still feel like a broken woman. I don't know maybe I'm just depressed maybe it will pass maybe it won't I feel very unsure of myself right now and I'm normally a very confident woman.
Sorry to be such a downer but I had to get that off my chest and didn't know where else to turn.
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Jessica

I'm sorry you are feeling so down and broken.  I'm not certain how long it has been since your srs, but it is a big change and can have a profound effect on how life changes for you
You are a woman, and not broken.  Social skills are learned early for cis women and we have to play catch-up, giving the feeling that you missed out.  Love and friendship is out there.  Don't fall prey to thinking you are unworthy and get out and be part of society.  Find social groups you feel comfortable in and live life while you learn to be confident.

Live life and love, Jessica

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Dena

Sometimes after general anesthesia it's possible to suffer from depression for a few month after surgery. If you have another issue, it can magnify the depression you already have. I suggest discussing this with your doctor and your therapist to see what you can do in the short term. The good news is the anesthesia effect will pass given time.

It will take time to find the type of relationship your after but don't let the depression stop you from circulating in public. The more exposure you have to others, the more likely you will find that special someone.
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Mendi

SRS is a major surgery in many ways and can and will affect depression afterwards. Just like heart surgery has a huge chance of affecting depression as it also changes life.

So keep on writing and analyzing how you are feeling. The best thing would be to find a therapist to talk it through.

Here´s an article about the depression after SRS. There´s plenty more if you just google "depression after SRS":

https://micheleomara.com/transgender-depression-after-surgery/

But you are not broken. You are a woman and every woman is unique and there is someone out there for everyone.
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Rachel

Hi, I had a depression for a little while after SRS. I understand about SRS being what had to be done and it ending dysphoria.

I took me a while but I know there are guys that are very much accepting and welcoming. You need to get out and find how and where to meet them. I use meet up. There are meet ups for trans woman. Where there are regular meet ups with trans woman there are guys. There is a meet up for bi, pan and gender fluid. There are shopping malls, food stores, and hobbies. Hobbies you like that have people you would like to meet.

You have a new life and it is new. It is natural to feel awkward when you are doing something new. It will take time to settle in to your new life.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
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Memento

I think the more you recover, the better you'll feel. SRS takes a lot out of anyone.

When it comes to dating, the more people you know, the better your odds. Just relax and go through life, someone will stick around. I wouldn't date just to avoid being single, but that's just me. Being single is when you have time to better yourself!

I hope you start feeling better.
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Dani

I am just over 2 years post-op and I feel exactly like you. My dysphoria is now gone, but where do I go now?

I am now in the getting on with my life stage. I am doing things that I always wanted to do, but was limited by previous personal relationships. I do meet people there and I have been propositioned several times, but the prospective relationship did not look promising. I would rather lead a single life than be in a bad relationship.

A good personal relationship is so hard to find even for cis women.

But I keep on trying.  :-*
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warlockmaker

Some patients after General Anesthesia have post op depression, doctors sometime call it the doom and gloom syndrome. This can happen a few days after or a few weeks. It will pass and if necessary there is otc meds that are mild and help.

Be proud of yourself and learn to love yourself first. You are blessed to live 2 lives in one lifetime. Dont present yourself as a needy person looking for a man to make you happy, happyness comes from within. You are special and any man should only be so lucky to know you. Dont let any man rain on your parade. As an older lady once said to me there is someone for each one of us and you will meet that person when its the right time, so be patient and enjoy your new amazing life.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
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