Hi, I'm a 25 year old current male who's considering doing an MTF transition eventually. I've gone most of my life being pretty unsatisfied with my appearance and social role as a man, as well as general anxiety and depression issues, but never really thought about or considered transitioning until early this year when I suddenly had a bit of a mental breakdown and experienced some very strong feelings of gender dysphoria. This lasted for about two months, during which time I saw some therapists about it and some other issues, then it largely subsided and I decided to focus on some of my other problems before considering a transition as a solution, during which time I've started taking an anti-anxiety medication. It's been helping me a lot and I haven't been nearly as anxious about making long-term decisions as I used to be, so I'm back to considering whether I should transition or not.
If nothing else, I'm planning to get laser-hair removal for my entire neck and beard area regardless of whether I transition, because I have very sensitive skin and shaving of any kind really tears it up; I'm usually bleeding in a couple spots and have some razor burn every day, no matter what combination of razor types and shaving creams/gels I use, and I've experimented quite a lot. I've never had any desire to grow out my facial hair in the ten years I've had any, and I don't like the stubble or grayish tint that I can't seem to completely get rid of either, so I'm just fed up with it and want it completely gone. Luckily, I have very dark hair on top of very light skin, which is supposedly the easiest to get rid of with laser, and I've saved up more than enough that I can easily pay for it out of pocket.
I'm also going to try to grow my hair out long, regardless of whether I transition, and I'm also going to go on Accutane soon at the behest of my dermatologist since I have a pretty bad acne problem which is only getting worse with age, so by the time I make a decision I'll hopefully already have long hair and relatively smooth, clear skin, which would make it a lot easier to transition instead of starting from nothing. And if I don't, that's my preferred male look anyway.
So, I figure I'll think about it for one to two years while I get my health and appearance in order, and consider my options. I've been lurking since the beginning of the year and this seems like such a welcoming community, I thought this would be a good place to ask questions and figure things out.
As for pronouns, let's try female ones and see how they work out, I picked a feminine name after all.
