Painful intercourse

[skullsquid]

I apologize in advance if this is the wrong forum to post this.
Please move it accordingly if so.

My question is two-fold, I've been transitioning for more than two years and half. I've been doing spiro, estradiol injections and more recently cycling progesterone every month. The problem that I've been running into is that my sex-drive has gone and not come back fully. I'm understanding that my sex-drive having been gone is related to genital dysphoria and there's not much I can do about that for now until surgery, which is more than 3 years away.

The other issue that I'm running into with my partner and is that when I do get aroused my erections are incredibly painful. Intercourse is also painful, but if I don't do anything about it it ends up hurting more so further down the line until I get release.

From what I've read it seems that this is due to atrophy of the spongy tissue and because of pain and genital dysphoria I was happy to ignore it but I do want to be able to get past the pain and be intimate with my partner. The more this goes unaddressed the more this becomes a larger problem.

What are people's experiences with this issue? How common is it? Is there any way other than just treating it like 'homework'?

[krobinson103]

I just don't use it anymore. Its not fit for that purpose so I ignore it.

[Mendi]

I think that happens more or less automatically when you stay on hormones for prolonged time. I don´t really know if there is anything you can do about, unfortunately 

[KarynMcD]

From what I've read it seems that this is due to atrophy of the spongy tissue and because of pain and genital dysphoria I was happy to ignore it but I do want to be able to get past the pain and be intimate with my partner.

The only way the pain goes away is to get erect more often.

[skullsquid]

Use it or lose it, in essence.

[StacyRenee]

I've experienced this pain also. It started at about a year into HRT. I lost all desire for sexual pleasure early on, but it returned after about 9 months. Now this pain overwhelms any libido I might have.

[skullsquid]

I've experienced this pain also. It started at about a year into HRT. I lost all desire for sexual pleasure early on, but it returned after about 9 months. Now this pain overwhelms any libido I might have.

That's pretty much where I'm at too. Libido and sex drive might be there but the pain is just too much...

[Bfp2]

I did experience pain in the beginning....but that was so long ago I don't remember.  If you have been on HRT for 2+ years....that doesn't seem to be what I remember.  I don't really do anything any more because......well it doesn't work like it use to for one.  they say if you don't use it you lose it.....I lost it.

[Barri]

When not on HRT the natural state of the thing is to get erect many times while you sleep, and a bit less during waking hours.  This continual engorgement keeps the thing in good working order and at maximal size.
I had pneumonia for the 1st time this past dec, and though I quashed the pnuemonia bacteria quickly, could not dry my lungs out.  I broke down and bought a doctor visit to get a prednisone script, well no estrogen or anti-androgen while on that so the old thing tried it's best to rear its ugly head....VERY painful, and half the original size it was 14 years ago when I had regular use of it for other than simple plumbing purposes.

[Mendi]

I´ve been thinking about this shrinking, that many report and which I´ve also noticed in myself. It is definitely smaller, especially in rest state.

But I´ve read the medical opinions, that HRT does not shrink it, that it´s just a visual illusion, because fat is accumulatin in lower abdomen, in female pattern.

Still, nearly everyone is saying, that it does shrink.

[SadieBlake]

Skullsquid (et al) I continued to use mine for the entirety of my pre-op hrt, at least weekly, few exceptions, so 16 months. I can't remember if nocturnal erections stopped, I'm pretty sure they were reduced. I never experienced pain or shrinkage, from what I've heard the cause of pain is shrinkage of the penile skin and I'd be interested to know if that's something you observe.

[josie76]

Tucking seems to cause a kink in the erectile chambers from what I can tell.
As son as I started E I lost all the morning erections. Starting P made partial erections happen again which I personally did not like. Intercourse was possible but also painful.
I personally don't like the feeling of an erection anyway.

[skullsquid]

Skullsquid (et al) I continued to use mine for the entirety of my pre-op hrt, at least weekly, few exceptions, so 16 months. I can't remember if nocturnal erections stopped, I'm pretty sure they were reduced. I never experienced pain or shrinkage, from what I've heard the cause of pain is shrinkage of the penile skin and I'd be interested to know if that's something you observe.

I think you might be right about that. I don't have nocturnal erections. It is much more deliberate for lack of a better word. Now that I think about it, even after masturbating the skin is tender to the touch for a few days, not so much the spongy tissue, it would be a different type of pain.

josie76: yeah pretty much all of it is unwanted would love to not have to deal with it ever but since I'm pretty much waiting for surgery for 3+ years I might as well use it for the time being, especially if it makes it not hurt. I don't really ever tuck as I don't get involuntary erections for the most part. Also I cycle P so I'm not always under its effects since when I take it every day it affects my mood pretty badly.

[SadieBlake]

OP, not the least of the reasons I continued using it was to ensure shrinkage didn't happen so that the most possible skin would be available for lining the neovagina. I was glad I was able to enjoy that, even to the extent it needed some gymnastics of imagination.

Best wishes!

[Maria77]

I had this pain as well.   Lowering my estradiol helped and after a point you no longer need spiro.   Then you have to exercise-if you don't the adage is that it will be useless when it is time for srs.  At least that's what the old school girls (srs in the 1990s) told me and I've seen the topic before.  It doesn't mean you have to carry on penetrating things-just think of it as tissue massage or something. 

[PurplePelican]

Use it or lose it, in essence.

You got it.

[Cindy]

In the absence of T and subsequent decrease in erections it is quite possible that fibrosis can occur in parts of the penis that use to engorge with blood and the lack of T may also lead to a condition were some of the internal membranes of the penis (parenchyma) are no longer maintained.  You really need to see a Urologist to rule out Peyronie's disease.

Seeing your medical specialist is the best advice I think.