Hello..

[Marjolein]

After lurking for maybe over a year it's about time to properly introduce myself.

My name is Marjolein. I choose that name after the main character of a populair Dutch series of typical girls books in the 50s and 60s.  Which also gives away hints about my age. At the moment i'm 61 and the feeling of gender dysphoria has come back stronger the last few years. 

From the time i realized there was indeed a difference between girls and boys i dreamt of being a girl. That time often in a quite magical way.  Like if i closed my eyes and wished hard enough. During puberty it was often not that easy. Like many of my age i think my life would have been different if at that time all the information we have now would have been available.

After my 30th i became absorbed in work. I liked my career and was a kind of workaholic. Although my desire to present as a woman did not totally disappear it was more easy to cope with. In the same time i had a very close soulmate like relationship with my girlfriend. She new about my "secret"  but was she not a talker. So we didn't discuss it allot but we had some kind of understanding about it.  We have been together 30 years.

Fast forward many quite happy years. 3  years ago she became very ill and since 2,5 years i'm a widow.  My life was shattered and i had to find a new balance in life and maybe even invent my own identity anew.

Out of curiosity and also to kill the loneliness i dabbled around in the virtual world of Second Life. Of course as a female persona. What started as an innocent game turned out to be a place where i learned a lot about myself. I found i made lot's a friends there in a very short time. I also realized i have a much more outgoing personality than i have in my real life male persona.

Lately I live mostly as a woman in private but still represent as a male outside the house.


I have lots of questions and ponderings but they will all come in due time. Thanks for listening

Love, Marj

[steph2.0]

Hello Marj! You waited a long time to introduce yourself, so it's nice you finally let us meet you. Your story sounds very familiar. I started my transition last year at age 58, so I know where you're coming from. There are plenty of others here in similar situations. Since you've been hanging out, I don't really have to tell you more.

As an official greeter, I'll pass on our standard list of links that describe how the site works. I think you'll find them helpful.

Again welcome; we're looking forward to seeing you around!

Stephanie

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[Marjolein]

Thank you Stephanie,

courageous women like you are one of the reasons i like to be part of this community. Of course all the others too. 

It convinced me that they are still many options open for me too.

[steph2.0]

Thanks Marj,

Y'know, I used to have a problem being called courageous, when I regarded it all as just desperation and self-preservation.

But then I remembered a quote attributed to John Wayne: Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.

I guess by that definition all of us here may be among the bravest people on the planet.


- Stephanie

[Marjolein]

Y'know, I used to have a problem being called courageous, when I regarded it all as just desperation and self-preservation.

But then I remembered a quote attributed to John Wayne: Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.

snip

I even thought about that. Having used that word..  that maybe you would not like being called that.   
I love that quote BTW.  I hope being courageous in that way someday. erm..  correction...  strike that last sentence because maybe i am already.

Marj.

[Roll]

Hiya Marj! After your reply in the thread I posted a bit ago I thought I'd drop by here and give you an official introduction thread welcome as well!

[Alyssa Bree]

Hi Marj!

Welcome! I have personally dealt with quite a bot of "If I knew then what I know now..." and I totally agree that life would likely have been very different if information that is so very readily available now would have been accessible two or three decades ago. Knowledge = understanding and acceptance, both for ourselves and for the world in general.

I hope to see you around and wish you the best!


xoxoxoxo
Alyssa

[V M]

Hi Marj 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M