Open letter to anyone anxious and afraid! (Read if your fear is posting here!)

[CandyFreedom]

Ellie and All,
Thank you so much for the post, and also for all the replies.  At 57 I'm six months sober and in the process of discovering my true self.  It's a wild ride, and while I'm excited I'm also afraid.  Luckily I have family support and a great therapist, who recommended Susan's Place.  Ellie your post is so comforting and personal, and all the replies show this to be a community of varied experiences with a unified love and respect for ourselves and one another.  Couldn't ask for more, looking forward to having the Susan's community by my side through this!  THANK YOU!!!!

[Roll]

It warms my heart this post could help in anyway.

This forum will definitely support you no matter what!

[Crose213t]

Yeah Roll. That was a pretty well said post. Good job.

[Chloe]

It warms my heart . . .

Ellie Great OP I went thru sheer agony for weeks
thinking "will I ever find help" . . .

I'm grim and grumpy," says Small to Large, "and I don't think you love me at all." But nothing could be further from the truth--and Large knows just how to reassure Small.
. . . but that was forty years ago and now is now! lol Oh wow look! I am still here! I think transgender people are the most blessed ones around!

[Rion1579]

All of that is me exactly. I've been lurking for a very long time and finally made an account yesterday. I did reply to a post today, which surprised me to be honest lol. I'm still working up the nerve to make an intro post but I'll get there.  I also worry because I'm not the best writer particularly when it comes to punctuation. I hope I'm getting better at it,  I'm really trying before I never bothered. Today I'm more emotional than usual I'm do for my weekly meds lol so this hit home and made me cry. I wish I could explain all that you wrote as well as you do to everyone I know,  heck to everyone in general lol. Thank you OP for taking the time to post this.

[V M]

Hi Rion1579 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

How about stopping by our Introductions Forum and introducing yourself so more folks can get to know you a bit better 

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

Hugs

V M

[Roll]

All of that is me exactly. I've been lurking for a very long time and finally made an account yesterday. I did reply to a post today, which surprised me to be honest lol. I'm still working up the nerve to make an intro post but I'll get there.  I also worry because I'm not the best writer particularly when it comes to punctuation. I hope I'm getting better at it,  I'm really trying before I never bothered. Today I'm more emotional than usual I'm do for my weekly meds lol so this hit home and made me cry. I wish I could explain all that you wrote as well as you do to everyone I know,  heck to everyone in general lol. Thank you OP for taking the time to post this.

<3

Don't worry about punctuation/grammar! Just say what you want to say, however you want to say it.

[no_one]

Great post.  Many I'm sure are like me and do not post.  Maybe it's a mix of anxiety over being unwelcome or something.  However, I did enjoy your post and thank you for the boost of confidence. 

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[Roll]

Great post.  Many I'm sure are like me and do not post.  Maybe it's a mix of anxiety over being unwelcome or something.  However, I did enjoy your post and thank you for the boost of confidence. 

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

I think there is an element in forums such as Susan's which tend to be a bit more personal in nature (as opposed to the wild west of ->-bleeped-<-) where it may sometimes seem to already be that there is this community that is built up and ongoing around a core group of people, and it's always intimidating to look in and think "am I welcome?". When you see a handful of people with post counts in the thousands chatting back and forth, I know in my own experience in hte past I feel like I'm intruding. But here, that's what is expected! Everyone is welcome, to post as little or as much as they want, in any thread they want, in any capacity they want (well, within the forum rules at least!). So welcome to the party.

[xrod1983]

Hi Ellie,

I so appreciated your post as it has helped however I am scared. I do have anxiety sometimes and even working up the nerve to register on this site was scary as I kept worrying about "what if someone finds the sites I register to via my email..." I am a 36 yo female who is currently presenting as male 😢 I've been wanting to get the nerve to transition into the female that I know I am since I was 12-14 yo. Chief among the things that scare me is coming out to my family, I come from a very "macho" Hispanic family and I don't want to lose them. Also ever since my mom passed away my father has gotten weaker and I worry that coming out to him may harm his physical well being. That is by far my number one dear a couple of minor things that worry me is; what if I started this process too late? For example I currently have a bald spot at the crown of my head and my hair has been receding. I know we should all love ourselves no matter what but I desperately want to appear passable. I also worry that if I go down this path I may face discrimination when it comes to getting a job or love life. I'm sorry I don't mean to put anyone down or make anyone feel these fears along with me, I guess I'm just trying to get a push towards living my best and most true life. Please anyone on this forum feel free to reach out and ask me any questions you may have in the search for support and help.

Love,
Fem (I haven't picked out a name yet so settled on something a bit on the nose)

[Roll]

Hey Fem! I apologize for the late reply, the events of life (a car wreck followed by an unrelated sudden death) have prevented me from being on Susans the past week, and I usually try to keep up with this thread if nothing else.

I am always happy to chat over PM if you'd like to (I'm going to send this same message via PM as well basically regardless to make sure you see this), and I can keep up with that easily courtesy of email notifications.

[MichelleStar]

Thank you for your open letter, Roll. Reading it was a tremendous help to me in finally coming out to my family last night. We all need a reminder from time to time that "yes, what we feel matters."

[Roll]

Thank you for your open letter, Roll. Reading it was a tremendous help to me in finally coming out to my family last night. We all need a reminder from time to time that "yes, what we feel matters."

Wow, that is always a huge step, I'm honored this post could help in the slightest!!

[Laurie]

 Hi Ellie,

  I just want to thank you for your efforts with this thread at welcoming newer shy folk that come to our site. You make those here feel welcome and help them in overcoming their fears. It been a joy to watch you grow from that new fearful shy person into the young lady you have become.

Love ya Ellie,
  Laurie

[Roll]

Hi Ellie,

  I just want to thank you for your efforts with this thread at welcoming newer shy folk that come to our site. You make those here feel welcome and help them in overcoming their fears. It been a joy to watch you grow from that new fearful shy person into the young lady you have become.

Love ya Ellie,
  Laurie

I just wish I had more time to check the forums. It seems like life is just moving a mile a minute lately. Also sometimes I forget that just because I'm talking to half the people I know here on other platforms constantly doesn't mean that I am actually following forums.

[MarshaJoy825]

Dear Ellie,
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for your post. I have been at Susan's off and on for a year. I have spent some time in Chat, but I never would have imagined writing about myself in the Forum. When I read this post, I knew that I had to post in Introductions. I have no regrets. I have already made friends and some with a similar background. Your words were the inspiration to get me going here. Keep up the good work, girl!   Hugs from Marsha.

[Roll]

Dear Ellie,
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for your post. I have been at Susan's off and on for a year. I have spent some time in Chat, but I never would have imagined writing about myself in the Forum. When I read this post, I knew that I had to post in Introductions. I have no regrets. I have already made friends and some with a similar background. Your words were the inspiration to get me going here. Keep up the good work, girl!   Hugs from Marsha.

So happy to hear this!! It's such an amazingly common issue, and I'm glad even if nothing else people can see from this thread that it's not just them that goes through it, I think that is always part of the challenge, or at least it was for me.

[Anjanette Miranda]

Thanks for the great post.
I am heading a therapist in the Fort Worth area.
Not sure how to go about it.
If anybody has one they would recommend please let me know.

AJ

[Roll]

Thanks for the great post.
I am heading a therapist in the Fort Worth area.
Not sure how to go about it.
If anybody has one they would recommend please let me know.

AJ

Hi AJ!

If you haven't, I recommend posting a new topic on it, we are so spread out it's sometimes hard to find recommendations for specific area and the location in the title can get attention from those in the areas. There are also some online searches, such as:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/transgender/tx/fort-worth

You can also try telemed providers if you have no luck locally, but Fort Worth should be large enough you don't need to worry about that unless it just makes you feel more comfortable.

It can pay to find any support groups in your area as well, who may have facebook groups or the like even if you don't go to the group itself that can offer recommendations. Finding a therapist can seem daunting, and I struggled getting started (it's why I signed up for Susan's originally to begin with actually myself!). It took a few attempts, as I was limited to telemedicine in my area as well, but it is well worth it.

[JanePlain]

I want to say how important I think your post is.  Hopefully everyone new here finds this!   Anxiety and other things like depression have people, meds etc that can help you but if your having anxiety issues this can sometimes be an issue that gets pushed out of the way.  Knowing that other people have this problem is huge!  MI should not have stigma associated with it - there are a LOT of people in that boat.

A side note on doctors, labs etc loosing track or labs is sadly more of a problem now that health care and insurance are all connected into this huge mess be it here or overseas.  Everyone seems hell bent to make whatever system they have the most screwed up thing possible. 

Anyway I don't want to add my rants to your great thread.  Thank you ellie!