Sex after surgery

[Izzy Z.]

Hi all!
     My MtF bottom surgery is in less than two months, and I was just wondering about various sex related things post-op, and hopefully I could hear from some people who got surgery from Marci Bowers specifically (if you have something to say and had another surgeon that's fine too.)
     First, how long until I can have sex, and how long until it actually feels good?
     Second, will my sex drive drop significantly, and if it will, what can I do to fix that?
     Finally, this is a bit tangential, but will my boobs grow more after surgery? I've been on HRT for more than 4 years and still have tiny sub A-cup boobs, and wonder if it's possible that my T levels are just too high.
     Thankfully, I have a boyfriend who's more than willing to help me experiment, but I would still love to hear from those of you who have actual experience in the matter.

[Jessica]

Hi Izzy Z 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
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[SadieBlake]

Izzy, I think as far as the vaginal canal healing is similar among different surgeons, for my part and from what I've read of other post-op transfeminine women, the labia take longer for pain to go away and for general healing to finish.

I went to Heidi Wittenberg just over a year ago and her instructions were to wait 3 months, I'm sure Dr Bowers has her own instructions.

My actual experience was that I was ready for mild penetration using a (silicone) toy instead of dilators at about 2 months and receptive penetrative sex with my GF at exactly 3 months time. While I had a complication of a suture that had opened and seemed like it was going to take forever to heal, without that I'd have been cleared for biking and swimming at 3 months I waited til 4 for those activities.

I enjoyed getting myself off in small ways from immediately post-op and I enjoyed sex the first time, if course things we're still a bit tender then. I had my first (so far only) sex with a male at something like 7 months and at 9 months I was having every bit as vigorous sex as I'd ever seen anyone experience and yes quite enjoying it :-).

Boobs I can't speak to. My T levels were rock bottom from my first month on HRT. If your T isn't firmly in the normal female range then you could certainly see more breast growth post-op. I take progesterone mainly for sex drive and attribute the rounding out of my breasts, which were still somewhat cone shaped when I only took estrogen. Ymmv of course.

You're going to have a good post-op sex life, I'm pretty sure.

[tgirlamg]

Hi Izzy!

I had GRS with Dr Bowers in May of 2015... First... no worries about anything sister!!! All shall be well...

I was able to orgasm at the 4 week post op mark despite the numbness on the skin surface that fades away over the first year.... My surgery was less than 1.5 years into HRT and most of my boob growth was actually between the 2-2.5 year period so just keep doing what your doing... Your boyfriend and you will enjoy exploring all that lies ahead!,,

Last bit of advice... enjoy the whole experience!... there is power and affirmation of your direction in life and a sense of liberation that accompany the experience!... Also please recognize that the healing period in ripe with opportunities to worry about the healing process and how things will all turn out... Exercise patience and let the healing process work it's magic!!!

Onward we go brave sister!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻

[Rachel]

I went to Dr. McGinn. I was cleared at 3 months for sex.

I was really apprehensive to masterbate until 5 months. I was very happy to finally have an orgasm at about 5.5 months.

I was given a script at 3 months for T. I could not take it. Dr. McGinn and I had a conversation at 6 months and I just could not get my head around taking T. It took me 1.5 years to again go on T. It is just a pea size amount once every other day. My primary care doctor explained that when I went on PrEP it may cause bone loss and he wanted me on T for that and for general bone health and sex drive.

I had a different type of surgery for GCS and a revision in April/18. I now feel right and correct down there. I see Dr. McGinn May, 31 and I am sure I will be cleared for sex and I will be on the hunt. With T my labido is high and the feeling and sensation down there is very strong.

I agree, enjoy the GCS experience, it is the best thing I did for my agency.

[Maybebaby56]

Hi Izzy,

I almost hate to post anything after reading the previous posts, but I might as well add a data point. I am nine months post-op with Dr. McGinn. I have no idea when I was "cleared" for sex since I am nowhere near able to be penetrated without pain. Dilation still hurts, primarily around the junction of the penile-scrotal graft an inch or so in, so it's probably an issue with scar tissue. I have very little depth, around 4 1/2 inches, so I seldom using anything beyond the blue SoulSource dilator, although I can use the green one and get about four inches of depth.

I am completely non-orgasmic, even though I have regained sensation in my clitoral region.  Self-stimulation is not pleasurable at all. I thought watching porn might help as I have woken up in the morning wet after having erotic dreams, but I can't even come close to an orgasm. Dr. McGinn did mention testosterone cream at my six-month check up, but like Rachel, I couldn't get my head around the idea of re-introducing T to my body after going to such great lengths to get rid of it. I haven't had an orgasm since I started HRT three years ago.  A small price to pay, I guess. Waking up on the morning and noticing I am smooth and flat between my legs always brings a smile to my face.

I'm not real happy with the appearance of my labia, or the persistent engorgement of my clitoral region, especially during arousal.  It is a real turn-off. I will probably bring it up again at my one-year follow-up with Dr. McGinn, but I doubt I will hear anything encouraging. 

I had a small B-cup after couple of years on HRT, and finally convinced my endo to let my try progesterone to see if it would increase the size of my areolas, but he put me on the smallest dose, and it didn't do much. I finally elected to have breast augmentation, and then he discontinued my prescription, much to my dismay. I didn't think he gave me much time.   

I do agree with Rachel that SRS is wonderfully affirming, despite my lack of form and function. I can wear panties and tight jeans and bathing suits without worrying about a tell-tale bulge. I can pass with my clothes off, so going to a female locker room at a gym is not problem.  I am where I need to be - I'm female.

With kindness,

Terri

[noleen111]

I dont think there is a set time to say, ok you may have sex.. it depends on your healing.. but follow your doctors instructions.

I was told, 3 months should be ok.. At 4 months I attempted masturbation with a vibrator, I even managed to have a small orgasm. Sex with a man, was at just over 6 months... it did not hurt during sex, but I was a tender the next day and yes I did have an orgasm..

[pretty pauline]

Everybody is so different, and situations different, my healing was slow as I had a 2nd procedure done at the time, it was over a year, 14 months before I attempted sex with my BF.
I remember been very nervous and anxious, he took me out to dinner to make it special, then that night, my first time having sex with a man as a female, I asked him to be gentle and patient with me and he was, I didn't have an orgasim, but it didn't matter at the time, it hurt and a little sore the first few times with a little bleeding, boyfriend seemed to be satisfied and wasn't disappointed, that ment more to me as he had completely supported me in my transition.
With the right partner, an understanding boyfriend, you should be ok.