Is my boyfriend only after sex?

[Ditzy-Raccoon]

this guy i've Known for most of my life but lost contact with before I started to transition. But we got talking again, he was nice and really sweet. I enjoyed being around him and after awhile he asked if we wanted to start seeing each other, and maybe see if a relationship would work in the future. It went great and we started officially going out. I explained to him I haven't been in a relationship in over 4 years and my last relationship was very abusive, so I started to get really uncomfortable when people would touch me. Even just holding my hand became a stressful thing for me.he said that's okay and would take it slow so I don't get uncomfortable, but now only a couple of weeks into the relationship he is constantly trying to pull me on top of him and asks for handjobs/->-bleeped-<-s. Even the first night he stayed at mine he was saying about bringing protection, we had only been together for 3 days... i'm Someone who is very introverted and can't deal with being around people too often or being touched a lot, and his constant touching and sexual innuendos, (humping against my butt,grabbing my boobs, touching between my legs) makes me very uncomfortable and makes me want to run home and be alone. I have repeatedly told him I don't NOT like people touching my "junk" as a pre-op trans woman I have a hard time looking down there and to have someone touch it makes me feel horrible. (I'm hoping that changes after bottom surgery) I have said if we was to have sex, I would really like it if he left my stuff alone. Like pretend it's not there and just have sex via the back door but he keeps touching it and saying "but you're hard, so that means you're horny, why don't you want me to help you out" i'm Tired of having to keep slapping his hand away from there and telling him to stop doing sexual stuff to me constantly. he can be a really nice guy but when we're alone the only thing on his mind is sex and it's starting to make me think, am I just a fantasy for him? Is he only with me so he can get sex? I don't know how to handle this. what do any of you think about this?

Any advice. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes made in this poster it just doesn't make any sense. Also I didn't know where to place this on the boards so i'm Sorry if it's in the wrong one.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Ditzy-Raccoon
Hello Ditzy-Raccoon
Since you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Ditzy-Raccoon
Oh, by the way Ditzy-Raccoon, so that the other members here on the Forums will know that you have become a member of Susan's Place please go to the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and to briefly tell the other members here about yourself!   You will then have a better chance of getting the answers that you are looking for regarding your specific interests and you will be able to share with others as they share their experiences with you once they know that you have arrived.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle
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[Lady Sarah]

It certainly sounds to me like he is only seeking to fulfill his lust. Ask him if he loves you. When he blows it, you will have ample reason to tell him off. My niece had a problem with a guy that was only after her well endowed body. She asked him "do you love me?" That was the end of that relationship. It should work with you too.

[Allison S]

I go by "if you feel something isn't right then it probably isn't". You can try and ask what he thinks of you spending time together. I'm sure he'll say he likes you, if he says he loves you... not sure there, but you should think about it just in case.
I've had guys tell me they love me without even meeting... this usually means that I should run. Fast.
I'm pre-op and feel the same. I don't want anyone near there and it's actually a turn off if it's something they are interested in.
It's tough, but hang in there.

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[Laurel D]

This is going to sound harsh. There are no redeeming qualities about this guy. RUN. Nothing good comes from being in relationships with people who don't respect boundaries.


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[RobynD]

Yeah from the description you provided, he sounds like he is only focused on his needs and desires and doesn't have a lot of interest in meeting yours or your timing. I'd clearly communicate to him your needs and desires and then if he can't live with that it violates consent and he needs to go.

[Gertrude]

Have you gone to therapy yet? I would say, yes, he just wants sex. You need, at the very least set boundaries and that would go for anyone, but in reality, you need to work out why you feel the way you do so as to have better relationships in the future. To that end, you don't need to be with someone that just wants ->-bleeped-<-s. That says it all really.  In my experience, if you see a good therapist, you will understand internal beliefs that produce less than positive outcomes in ones actions and that we choose how we think, therefore feel which leads to actions. Not understanding oneself leads to being a reaction vessel that gets triggered often with the results being why did this happen. There's a disconnect. It's up to you to decide who you want to be with and it sounds like this person doesn't have your best interests at heart, so maybe you should ask yourself, why are you with him?


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[KathyLauren]

The big red flag: he doesn't respect you.  If he did, he wouldn't be ignoring your requests not to touch you like that.  If he doesn't respect you, he doesn't love you.  So, yes, he is only there for sex.  RUN!