20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.

[JulieVernes]

Hi,
I'm not sure what to say, or what to do. Do I start with a long rant? Or keep it brief? Guess I'll start with the basics.

So G'day. I'm Julie. Thirties. Wanting to tell ya'll about my life... but terribly afraid of exposure. Which is ridiculous because I can only assume that my mates aren't lurking around transgender support websites waiting to let my guard down so they can expose me to the world.

But in a way I guess that's why I'm here.  I've spent my entire life afraid that people close to me might start to figure me out. That something is different about me. And well, you may have noticed that I'm fairly introspective - and to my knowledge I'm a pretty alright person; therefore what am I hiding from everyone?

I might be trans. I might not be. Though with the years of searching for answers up my sleeve I am starting to suspect that I may be. And that last sentence was difficult to write. I hope to use this space to explore, to question and journey. Any help will be great, and if I find myself in a position to, I will endeavour to reciprocate.

Thanks for this space.

[V M]

Hi Julie 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

Hugs

V M

[Paige]

Hi,
I'm not sure what to say, or what to do. Do I start with a long rant? Or keep it brief? Guess I'll start with the basics.

So G'day. I'm Julie. Thirties. Wanting to tell ya'll about my life... but terribly afraid of exposure. Which is ridiculous because I can only assume that my mates aren't lurking around transgender support websites waiting to let my guard down so they can expose me to the world.

But in a way I guess that's why I'm here.  I've spent my entire life afraid that people close to me might start to figure me out. That something is different about me. And well, you may have noticed that I'm fairly introspective - and to my knowledge I'm a pretty alright person; therefore what am I hiding from everyone?

I might be trans. I might not be. Though with the years of searching for answers up my sleeve I am starting to suspect that I may be. And that last sentence was difficult to write. I hope to use this space to explore, to question and journey. Any help will be great, and if I find myself in a position to, I will endeavour to reciprocate.

Thanks for this space.

Hi Julie,

Like your name   Perhaps your next book should be "Journey to the Center of your Heart"

The thing I would point out is that cispeople in my experience do not dwell on their gender.   They usually are quite repulsed by the idea of taking hormones, or having surgeries specific for gender issues or considering themselves at a different place on the gender spectrum than they present.   I would also say cispeople don't usually read or post at Susans unless it's because of a family member or friend.

I'm guessing from the fact you say you're hiding from everyone, you've probably have some gender dysphoria and you don't want others to know about it.

Not everyone here transitions, some find ways to cope.  It's all up to the individual.  I would suggest you find a therapist with gender experience to help you out.    There's lots of people hear to discuss issues with but most will agree it's best to also have a professional that you can meet in person and discuss your issues.

Good luck Julie, I hope you find your answers.
Paige

[PollyQMcLovely]

Hi Julie, welcome!

[JulieVernes]

Thanks for the kind welcomes!

[Janes Groove]

Welcome to the site Julie.  Don't worry about your mates.  If they can't deal with the real you then can they really be called friends?

[Danielle Kristina]

Hi Julie, and welcome!  I finally came out to myself as transgender after decades of denial, and even still sometimes there is a shred of doubt despite my knowing the truth.  Cis-gendered people don't wonder if they're transgender, so when I ask myself over and over again if I'm trans, that's me asking a question I already know the answer to but don't want to admit it.