inertia, shyness, or...?

[katia]

i'm reading "Fear of the Inexplicable by Rilke" & came accross this quote:

"For it is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope.

But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive and will himself draw exhaustively from his own existence."


i first heard this in the movie "kissing jessica stein", and it still resonates. i meet so many compulsive people who think they are liberated or free, but in reality they are quite addicted to work, sex, business, you name it. stuck doing the same things over and over again. get the pic? i've been there myself, but now i find myself at this point in my life where i am allowing the new to break free in me re my work, artistic, and love life.

how about you? what holds you back? what frees you?

[Nero]

i'm a slave to my addictive personality - drugs, drink, sex, food, etc.
in the past - i've also been addicted to a few 'occupations' i had, to exercise (my own version of aerobic dance), and to anorexic behaviour.

so, i've always been trapped in one cycle or another since childhood. i don't know what frees me because anything i enjoy doing rapidly becomes addiction.

[Keira]

I think the human brain cannot live without some sort of compusilvity to fill the void. In some, its worse than others.

Some have a compusilve need to get their appartment spotty clean, relaitvely benign unless that person has 3 children and it turns into an impossible mission.

[Nero]

I think the human brain cannot live without some sort of compusilvity to fill the void. In some, its worse than others.

Some have a compusilve need to get their appartment spotty clean, relaitvely benign unless that person has 3 children and it turns into an impossible mission.

haha my stepfather is like that. severely anal about it. really annoying to share space with those types. but on the bright side, the place always looks nice.

[Butterfly]

Indescribably monotonous and unrenewed? Thats extreme. Rilke was ahead of his time and probably felt stifled by the rules that he broke.

Ready for anything, who excludes nothing - well, that could be interpreted to include all kinds of perversions, murders, and things that are really heinous. It reminds me of that book, Les Chants de Maldoror. I dont know if this is what he had in mind....

Anyway, I dont feel one has to break out of social conventions to be free. Its a state of mind. With that said, I am pretty hampered by Jewish guilt and wondering What would my nan think? And yet I subscribe to surrealism. People are contradictory.

[Wing Walker]

i'm a slave to my addictive personality - drugs, drink, sex, food, etc.
in the past - i've also been addicted to a few 'occupations' i had, to exercise (my own version of aerobic dance), and to anorexic behaviour.

so, i've always been trapped in one cycle or another since childhood. i don't know what frees me because anything i enjoy doing rapidly becomes addiction.

I had my addictions, too, and they kept me stymied in myself.  That can be a very small place.

I got rid of drink and kept food.  I enjoy a good meal and my cooking can be quite acceptable.

I had a bad time with prescription drugs while under the care of my doctor.  If you take some drugs long enough, they'll get ya!

I did dump some things that held me back, like a life of gender dysphoria, heterosexual marriages, waking up in the wrong gender, being a workaholic, living in misery and debt.  All of those things were with me for far too long.  Glad I dumped them and walked toward the light and life.

Wing Walker

[Yvonne]

Very beautiful quote! I love it!

I recognize my fear of the inexplicable too. It is always there, I acknowledge its presence, but I never allow it to hold me back. Choosing between adventure and change vs stagnation and boredom is a common life occurrence to me, but, as what is said, there is always a choice. I always envision the ideal me and push towards the realization of it. I guess, it is what you may say as my motivation. While the belief that "Love is all there is" and "I am Love in flesh, mind and spirit" frees me and conquers all the fears that comes.

I tell you, everything's worth it, the joy, the pain, the realizations, which make life delicious.

[Valentina]

In my opinion neither.  It is in most cases lack of knowledge that there is something different (different ways to do something or different points of view), in one word, ignorance.
We do things monotously because we have not discovered that there are other choices.  Personally what freeds me is knowledge. Travelling around the world and knowing other cultures, people, morals, ethics, etc so it gives me a broader look at the picture.

[Suzie]

Thank you for exposing me to this passage by Rilke.  I looked up the entire piece and read it; it is quite profound.

I think he is just saying that there is no need for fear, because there is no such thing.  It's all in your mind.  If you read the entire passage, he expresses it further.

As an interesting FYI, Rilke was dressed as a girl by his mom until he was 6 years old.  I don't think he was trans, his mom was just twisted and in mourning of the loss of her daughter.  Then a few years later his father sent him off to military school...talk about being born under a bad sign; poor kid.  His given first name was Rene, which was more feminine than the name he later changed it to: Rainier. 

[Natasha]

well, trainspotting said a similar sort of thing, only in a much meaner way, predictably given the author, quote (gutted of profanity) here:

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the bleep you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, ping your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, *** up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life."

as you know, we all follow routines, even when they are not conventional routines. We draw comfort from the familiar, and what was once groundbreaking, and remains startling to others, is simply normal and every day.

that realization itself is a liberation. that as we choose to become, so do we also adapt to what we have become. and that we have a great many choices, most of which are limited by perception, and the will to act.

as for freedom, freedom is also about perception, as the quote above shows so very clearly, choice can only be made from known options which isn't really freedom at all. freedom is a very very wide thing, and it is frightening almost beyond measure. we tend to devise routines to shield ourselves from the horror of it, we skirt gingerly around it in our decision making processes. we structure against possibilities by ensuring against them. we become the ants in the ant and grasshopper fable (have you read it? ), and compliment ourselves for our forward thinking.

the feel of freedom is not what we expect. maybe it goes back to the hunter gatherer societies where each day was so much more in the moment, where life was not defined by longevity alone and beauty had a far greater role.


what holds me back - fear and apathy maybe, self sabotage at times, stupid people most of the time

what frees me? i vision in the collective consciousness. i wonder up and break away the rules. and i love with all my intelligence.

i don't know why but i feel that you're going to love my answer.  ha ha ha ha