A few questions...

[Amaki]

Im not sure where to start so I'll try my best just to blurt it out lol. Ok I was able to tell my best friend about me hiding my true self because she told me he was transgender (because she's not here right now I will respect her by using the female pronouns). I finally had someone close to me that might actually know what im going through, well with me opening up I could finally start looking for support groups (may not be a physical support group like I wanted but this will work).

So to start off with I have a few general questions, I unfortunately am a very hairy guy, I keep getting told that once I start the HRT that should help with it (to put into context if I was Gay I'd be classified as a Bear), the first question would be is that true will it help me lose most of my body hair (it really is an big issue with me (is there any studies or people that this didn't happen to))?

My friend has been going through a lot and not just about finally opening up to our group of friends, so Im afraid to push too many questions on her, but while I was opening up she showed me some pictures of her cross-dressing, while I wasn't 'weirded' out by them something about them just made me blah not out loud or anything I just told her not to show me those pictures maybe it was because Im use to seeing her dress as guy and not herself, I dont know but after that I came to relies (well I already knew just came to conform) that ive never liked photos more so of myself but even when I take photos I dont like to take pictures of people. Not sure where the question is in this one just wanted to know if maybe an aversion to pictures was a me thing or a gender identity thing? Im sure i'll feel better about them when Im actively living my true live.

The next question at some point (mostly at a young age) I did play dress up, no real memory of if it was anything more than hats and shoes or what but I do remember playing dress up. As I got older I felt less comfortable cross dressing I know this to be because of how I was raised and what not, pretty strict parents, I wasn't really a party kid anyway so I had few times to dress up and the few times I did dress up the suit was bought for me without my input. I mostly wear shorts and a Tee-short now, Im not asking if it will be easier to maybe wear a dress someday (I would love to be comfortable in like a summer dress or something) Im sure it will be, but my question is will it be more comfortable for me with my up bring and what not to maybe not push the issue and ease into it like say once I can start HRT or something?

I know im not ready yet but I have taken a few steps to ease myself into my real life, Ive stopped well trying mostly to stop biting my nails, its really not that big a deal but I might need help to stop me completely from biting them. I also got my ears pierced as of last Friday in fact (something for obvious reasons Ive always wanted but for pick a reason haven't been able to get). I woke up that day feeling great, and even after the numbing left the ears I felt great that night too. Other than that by a remark my friend said I changed the name on all my accounts but one to say Sophia Lee instead of my birth name. The one account I didnt change Ive been using to find a job so it has to stay till I can legally change my name and gender.

Without me getting twitchy and weird lol I think this is where I'll stop for now, if any other questions come up please take a look and help where you can.

Im sure between my friend, my little sister and you all here I will have a ton of questions and need a lot of tips to make me feel pretty so Im sure I'll be back. Thank you in advance.

[KathyLauren]

That is pretty cool that you have a trans friend in real life.

HRT will reduce your body hair.  But what that will mean for you, well, there's only one way to find out.  In my case, I didn't have much body hair to begin with, but what there was has mostly disappeared or become so fine as to be almost invisible.  In your case, that is an unlikely outcome, but you may find that it thins out noticeably.  You will likely need to remove what remains.

With regard to dressing as your true self, you will probably want to start out slowly.  Many of us have a history of cross-dressing long before we started HRT or even understood we were trans.  Others wait until they are on HRT.  There are so many ways to manage your transition, and only you know what is right for you.

I dressed for support group meetings and therapy appointments for several months.  I didn't start dressing full-time until I had been on HRT for three months.  Some places require a year of dressing full-time before they will even prescribe HRT.  As with so many things, your mileage may vary (YMMV).

Do you have a therapist?  You should talk about this with your them.

[Amaki]

As with so many things, your mileage may vary (YMMV).

Do you have a therapist?  You should talk about this with your them.

Thats the exact line my friend uses on me a lot lol.

I technically do have a therapist but its at the VA so right now im waiting for my appointment at which point I intend to tell them everything and start from there see what they want and go forward.

It helps a little to talk with people that are going through the same stuff.

[Arianna Valentine]

While I don't know much about what happens when on hormones I can say that i used to be the same I hated pictures especially ones of me I always forced a smile but once I started to dress act and look how my true gender was I love to take pics of myself and do so as much as possible and I don't have to take a smile anymore and while I am more confident in my looks now that I have come out and started being my true self there is always some confidence issues like my teeth they aren't bad I just don't like to show them at all lol.  Also legal name change is extremely easy gender not so much as I have found lol.

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[Harley Quinn]

Sophia Lee, first off, welcome.  I'm sure you'll find a lot of advice and support here.  There are a lot of wonderful and knowledgeable people that pop in.

As to your first question, body hair, it will lessen over time with hormone therapy.  It took about 6 months on hormones before mine began to thin.  I wasn't very furry when I started (other than facial hair), so my observed results will vary from others.  I'd say I lost about 2/3rds of my body hair over the last 2 1/2 years.

I never liked my picture being taken.  I have maybe 4 or 5 pictures of myself from high school, college, or my time in the Army.  I wasn't a huge fan of mirrors either.  It wasn't until after I began transitioning that I started becoming comfortable with having my picture taken.  For me, my appearance bothered me and was evident in my history of ducking photos.

I've had a long history of dressing up through grade school, junior high, high school, college, and on leave while in the military.  My parents were very old fashioned and not at all understanding.  If they found anything feminine, I'd be scalded before they threw it in the trash.  I got very adept at sneaking around and hiding my femininity.  I carried that skill with me for most of my adult life.  ->-bleeped-<- wasn't very well known or accepted, especially in the military.  As much as I wanted to wear dresses, it didn't really feel natural until after I came out and accepted that I was Trans.  Once I was no longer worried about who would see me and who they would tell, it became easier and more comfortable to wear feminine attire.

Congratulation on your piercings.  It's no small feat.  It took me a while to get up the nerve for that.  I was nearly 9 months into transition before I got the courage.  So congratulations.

I hope this might have helped, and I look forward to hearing how things progress.

[Arianna Valentine]

Sophia Lee, first off, welcome.  I'm sure you'll find a lot of advice and support here.  There are a lot of wonderful and knowledgeable people that pop in.

As to your first question, body hair, it will lessen over time with hormone therapy.  It took about 6 months on hormones before mine began to thin.  I wasn't very furry when I started (other than facial hair), so my observed results will vary from others.  I'd say I lost about 2/3rds of my body hair over the last 2 1/2 years.

I never liked my picture being taken.  I have maybe 4 or 5 pictures of myself from high school, college, or my time in the Army.  I wasn't a huge fan of mirrors either.  It wasn't until after I began transitioning that I started becoming comfortable with having my picture taken.  For me, my appearance bothered me and was evident in my history of ducking photos.

I've had a long history of dressing up through grade school, junior high, high school, college, and on leave while in the military.  My parents were very old fashioned and not at all understanding.  If they found anything feminine, I'd be scalded before they threw it in the trash.  I got very adept at sneaking around and hiding my femininity.  I carried that skill with me for most of my adult life.  ->-bleeped-<- wasn't very well known or accepted, especially in the military.  As much as I wanted to wear dresses, it didn't really feel natural until after I came out and accepted that I was Trans.  Once I was no longer worried about who would see me and who they would tell, it became easier and more comfortable to wear feminine attire.

Congratulation on your piercings.  It's no small feat.  It took me a while to get up the nerve for that.  I was nearly 9 months into transition before I got the courage.  So congratulations.

I hope this might have helped, and I look forward to hearing how things progress.

Something you said about hair growth has me having to ask about arm and leg hair I don't mind shaving my armpits and already started laser hair removal on my upper lip and chin but arms and legs either take to long to shave, cause lots of cuts or razor bumps like crazy I myself am not hairy either btw just a bit on my tummy none on my chest and back but my butt is hairy but its light colored

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[Harley Quinn]

Something you said about hair growth has me having to ask about arm and leg hair I don't mind shaving my armpits and already started laser hair removal on my upper lip and chin but arms and legs either take to long to shave, cause lots of cuts or razor bumps like crazy I myself am not hairy either btw just a bit on my tummy none on my chest and back but my butt is hairy but its light colored

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I lost all of my hair from the knee down on my legs, the hair on my thighs has gotten thinner and finer.  I have about 20 tiny hairs left on my torso.  The hair on my arms has gotten finer, but hasn't really gone away.

[Arianna Valentine]

I lost all of my hair from the knee down on my legs, the hair on my thighs has gotten thinner and finer.  I have about 20 tiny hairs left on my torso.  The hair on my arms has gotten finer, but hasn't really gone away.

Thanks I hope that happens to me to thin the hair on my whole body is pretty thin and not much at all either but on my face it's extremely course so the laser hair removal is taking linger than it was thought to be but all good lol also if it's ok I'd like to add you to friends [emoji4]

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[Harley Quinn]

Thanks I hope that happens to me to thin the hair on my whole body is pretty thin and not much at all either but on my face it's extremely course so the laser hair removal is taking linger than it was thought to be but all good lol also if it's ok I'd like to add you to friends [emoji4]

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Yup, facial hair is a pain.  But you're lucky, the courser and darker it is, the better laser works.  It will take a bit.  I'm about 10 months into laser on my facial hair going every 6 weeks, and I have a year of touch ups.  It's pretty much gone at this point, and I'm beginning electrolysis Thursday to pick up the stragglers.

And yes, I always welcome new friends. 

[Arianna Valentine]

Yup, facial hair is a pain.  But you're lucky, the courser and darker it is, the better laser works.  It will take a bit.  I'm about 10 months into laser on my facial hair going every 6 weeks, and I have a year of touch ups.  It's pretty much gone at this point, and I'm beginning electrolysis Thursday to pick up the stragglers.

And yes, I always welcome new friends. 

Mines still as thick as before lol although sometimes the color goes clear like it loses all pigment lol but I think I'm going on my 6th or 7th treatment next month.

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[Harley Quinn]

Mines still as thick as before lol although sometimes the color goes clear like it loses all pigment lol but I think I'm going on my 6th or 7th treatment next month.

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You might want to start another thread, or PM me... so we don't hijack this girl's thread. 

But you may want to look at either changing lasers, or having it turned up some.  I didn't get any real clearance with the Alexanderite laser, even turned up on high.  I had much better results Diode laser.  It hurt a lot more, but it cleared my facial hair like a champ.  It was all basically gone after 6 sessions of diode.  My 2 sessions with the Alexanderite didn't do anything.

[Amaki]

Thank you Harley Quinn, it did help reading but yeah kind of takes away from the other issues, it'll be awhile before I at that point but all the information I can get is helpful.

And ok so it was not just me who had issues with mirrors and pictures, most of my pictures I just forced a smile the others where taken behind me back more or less, but yeah cool.

Yeah growing up I was in and out of therapist and psychiatrist many of which would tell my parents to either drug me up or I was depressed. I guess after I started to hide my true self from them they gave up, my mom always did say she could never tell if I was lying or not, not that Im proud of it but I had no idea what to do. Still scared to talk to them about it, hoping maybe I can get support from the VA groups or something to figure out how to talk to them about it i dont know... for now I have to do as my signature says and smile with pride for all I can do is move one day at a time no matter how fast I want to run lol.

[Harley Quinn]

Yeah growing up I was in and out of therapist and psychiatrist many of which would tell my parents to either drug me up or I was depressed. I guess after I started to hide my true self from them they gave up, my mom always did say she could never tell if I was lying or not, not that Im proud of it but I had no idea what to do. Still scared to talk to them about it, hoping maybe I can get support from the VA groups or something to figure out how to talk to them about it i dont know... for now I have to do as my signature says and smile with pride for all I can do is move one day at a time no matter how fast I want to run lol.

I've had a wonderful experience with the VA.  If you need any advice on navigating their system, don't hesitate.  There are quite a few of us Veterans on here.

Best advice on dealing with old fashioned parents is to just be honest in telling them up front (when you're ready).  And give them space and time to digest the information.  It helped me to think of it as, it took me years of wrestling with it and I'm still working through it.  They'll come around, it may not be as quickly as we want, but they'll come around.  My mom has been trying to deal with the information for a couple years now and still calls me Joshua like nothing has changed. 🙄  But it took me 30+ years to figure it out, so 2 is a drop in the bucket.  She's working on acceptance, but hasn't quite gotten to understanding. 

[Kendra]

From the time my voice changed to a bit after I started transition I hated pictures of myself - for several decades.  About 5 years ago I decided it was time to join an online dating site so I took a photo, didn't like it so I re-took it, no good.  I tried everything possible to smile even somewhat, but after more than an hour and 100 photos I had failed.  I sat in my house crying.  I had found the simplest thing to be impossible. 

Transition isn't for everyone and can include huge challenges but has certainly worked well with me.   I am working on being myself.  I own my future now and have never been happier.  I wish the same happiness for you. 

[PollyQMcLovely]

I haven't willingly let anyone take my picture since I hit puberty. I'm not in year books, vacation photos, family photos or friend's photos. When I detect cameras nearby I get on edge. I also hate mirrors. I avoid my reflection like the plague. I tried to take a picture the day I started HRT to use for tracking progress but couldn't bring myself to do it. If I looked like a girl this wouldn't be a problem. Life is garbage.

[Arianna Valentine]

I haven't willingly let anyone take my picture since I hit puberty. I'm not in year books, vacation photos, family photos or friend's photos. When I detect cameras nearby I get on edge. I also hate mirrors. I avoid my reflection like the plague. I tried to take a picture the day I started HRT to use for tracking progress but couldn't bring myself to do it. If I looked like a girl this wouldn't be a problem. Life is garbage.

Give it time and I'm sure you will be a little more willing to have your pic taken it just takes time me I feel like I already look girly and always have if you ask anyone that knows me so once I threw on the clothes and things it was just natural to me but not everyone is aslike either take your time you will know when or if your ready

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[Amaki]

yeah, I mostly get forced into photos but that doesnt mean I like it, if given the chance I try and avoid the camera.

I know my mom took a picture of my sisters and me and now uses it as a background on her phone and it bugs the hell out of me each time I see it. I guess it makes sense GD would cause photo aversion and what not, I may look in the mirror to shave but im not looking at the face just at what needs to be done.