Making friends with women

[Lucca]

I'm really weary of being friends with mainly just men and as part of my transition, I would really like to make friends with more women once I eventually go public. I'm not really sure how to make this happen, though. I doubt I'd be excised from my existing social groups after coming out, but I have no idea whether any of the women in them would accept someone who they used to know as a man as being "one of the girls," if you know what I mean. Especially since I'd still have plenty of masculine traits (like being taller than anyone else I know).

How have other people gone through this? What successes or problems did you have? I'm 25, so I'm mostly talking about women in the 20-30 age range.

[krobinson103]

Give it time. Most of the women at work accept me as one of the club now. I think a lot of it has to do with insecurities that come from within us.

[IamJoannaAndJohn]

some women at my workplace are accepting and are my friends while the rest aren't and are hellbent on giving me a hard time.

you can try being open to some of the girls with your transitioning and it really goes from there imo. it develops...

[emma-f]

I think it totally depends. I've always been better at being friends with girls and always found that they are totally accepting. Even before I came out publicly, they'd invite me to hen parties, and get changed around me because it's just me. So they completely accepted me as one of the girls. I've found that many women who were previously standoffish are now warmer to me now I'm out. Some women have inbuilt protection where they view all men as a sexual threat. When they see you no longer as a threat, they open up. But yeah, will completely depend on your social circle I suppose, and maybe I've been lucky, but I've never seen an issue

Em x

[KathyLauren]

I think it depends who your friends are.

I have been a regular member of the local community coffee group for three years.  I transitioned over a year ago, and am still a member.  I would not call any of them close friends; they are neighbours.  But I have not been excluded from the group.  And, in fact, I was invited to a baby shower that was held this past weekend, which is an all-women event.

[Lucca]

I've just always been very anxious and paranoid about approaching women for any reason, so the thought of beginning to try to socialize more with women instead of men, especially among people who already vaguely know me, worries me a little.

I was discouraged from making friends with girls as a child and teenager due to my religious upbringing, and any social interest in girls was labelled as an indecent, shameful sexual lust as well. Then, after escaping fundamentalism in my adult life, liberal feminism has really done a number on me and made me paranoid that anything I do near a woman will be interpreted as a threatening gesture. I'm trying to get over this, but it's difficult, and I really don't want anyone to view me as a threat because they think it's weird that I started wearing women's clothing and makeup and am now trying to talk to them.