Shunned

[DawnOday]

I went to see Emily my Kaiser voice coach yesterday. My new avatar shows how I was dressed. When it was time to take the elevator to the parking garage, there were 5-6 people waiting for the next car. Out of the 5 or 6, only 2 were willing to get on the elevator with me. I wanted to explain this is an elevator not a restroom. Once I made it to the streets of Capitol Hill though, I was in my element and most the people were really pleasant. Took a nice little stroll, window shopping in businesses displaying rainbow flags. All in all a pretty great day.

[Northern Star Girl]

I went to see Emily my Kaiser voice coach yesterday. My new avatar shows how I was dressed. When it was time to take the elevator to the parking garage, there were 5-6 people waiting for the next car. Out of the 5 or 6, only 2 were willing to get on the elevator with me. I wanted to explain this is an elevator not a restroom. Once I made it to the streets of Capitol Hill though, I was in my element and most the people were really pleasant. Took a nice little stroll, window shopping in businesses displaying rainbow flags. All in all a pretty great day.

Dear DawnOday....   It is not unusual when a very pretty woman like yourself is in the elevator, they were probably intimidated by your lovely looks.... and by the way, your new avatar/profile photo is wonderful and you do look quite beautiful... and your outfit, hair, and appearance is very nice... very pretty. 

What you described happens to just about all us in that are in different stages of transition, and as time goes on, and HRT keeps doing it's job and you keep refining your appearance, mannerisms, etc.... I would expect those kinds of moments would diminish greatly.
   
Did you take a shower that morning and put on deodorant by chance??  LOL    obviously j/k 

Thanks for posting this concern of yours, and please know, that if it is any comfort at all, just about all of us have had similar experiences.  It is best to ignore those kinds of folks and continue on holding your head high, and a smile doesn't hurt either.   A smile usually disarms most that want to be rude like that.
Stay strong, stay determined.

Hugs,
Danielle

[Paige]

Hi Dawn,

I'm glad your day turned out well.  I really wonder what those people not wanting to be on the elevator with you were thinking.   

Take care,
Paige

[DawnOday]

People have always avoided me because of my size. I am reasonably svelte in comparison to the three hundred pounds I weighed before.What you gonna do. Haters are gonna hate. Fortunately there are enough good people in the world to compensate for the few who fail to realize we were all formed in the image of God, and we are all part of Gods plan. God never makes mistakes and he didn't when he allowed me to pursue the person I always thought myself to be.  Ok, that's enough, religion makes me hungry.

[Tatiana 79]

Hello Dawn,
First off I would like to commend you for holding your ground and showing a lot of class for not being affected by the people that wouldn't get in the elevator with you.
I do feel kind of sorry for those people that were so close minded and unfriendly to such a degree that they wouldn't even get on a public elevator with you. I would bet it was due to their ignorance and lack of knowledge of current reality, and who knows maybe even some deep-seated underlying issue that's been naughing at them.
But that was a very rude gesture and I'm sorry you had to experience it.
But use their hatred and turn it against   them to add to your indomitable spirit, by keeping your head held high with the plastered smile and a lot of eye contact will project a commanding presence.

Who really cares what other people think all that matters is what you think
It's really their problem not yours.
Is it not our life to live as we want and not theirs.
I'm really proud of you Dawn for keeping your cool and showing your class and was unaffected by all the bad karma there and you just got on that elevator and did your thing anyway good for you girl.
I wish I had as tough a hide as you do my friend.

Take care and way to go love Tatiana

[DawnOday]

Tatiana... First off they have the problem not me. I had places to be and was not in the mood, so classiness had nothing to do with it. I like to think it was my 6'4" frame and my size 15 boots that might end up in their behinds. But really there was another car just coming up. On the same thought. I try to avoid clowns.

[Tatiana 79]

Hello Dawn,
I did state that it's their problem and not yours.
Sorry if I'm a little out of touch with elevator protocol I haven't been on one in over 25 years.
I guess I miss understood completely you're saying that they were afraid to get in the elevator with you due to your physical commanding presence
Thank you for letting me know how you felt and I'm sorry I misinterpreted you
It probably sounds like I'm coming from another world but I really am because I live in the bush I am completely naive to the normal interactions that occur in the city.

and by the way my wife and I think you look wonderful in your new Avatar picture.
All the best to you love Tatiana

[Laurel D]

Once I made it to the streets of Capitol Hill though, I was in my element and most the people were really pleasant. Took a nice little stroll, window shopping in businesses displaying rainbow flags. All in all a pretty great day.

I love Capital Hill. It is one of few places I feel invisible. Like a just regular person.  It's feels awesome. I don't get that feeling to often. I get stares, weird comments, whispers and avoidance. But your right, it's not our problem , it's theirs.

[IamJoannaAndJohn]

how's your progress been with the voice thing? also with the shunning, i have been experiencing that day by day and being a newbie to the trans scene it has been affecting me weirdly..like i'm a social outcast. how are you managing this mentally and emotionally.....even psychologically? ty

[DawnOday]

Joanna,,, It's going quite well actually. My voice coach is also my trans culture coach and she is Fabulous. I've been seeing her for about a year and a half.  She has built up my trust so well that I think of her as a friend and I've told her more about me than even my wife knows. Like I said it is going pretty well. In our 40 minute appointments I can maintain my pitch at F#3 for 90% of the time. I am getting stronger and stronger I am considering going full time. Each time I step out I get more and more confidence. As it is I get out and about two or three times a week. I still don't feel fully comfortable in unfamiliar territory. But I find the Capital Hill neighborhood more and more comfortable as I explorer. Places like the Elliot Bay Bookstore. I feel I can go in there dressed en femme and just be another bookstore visitor. Also the rainbow crosswalks give the signal that it's ok if I don't pass I am still accepted. The estrogen has short circuited the depression I suffered and I have not had to fill out a depression survey in over a year. My biggest concern is my wife whom I've been with for 35 years. But recently she has taken to telling me she loves me again.