How did you imagine a successful transition should be before and during?

[warlockmaker]

We are all special individuals but how did you imagine a successful  transition to be before the journey began and did this view change as you transitioned?

For me I remember thinking and even planning my future life as I contemplated this journey. Living a high profile life with a powerhouse family, a family that was very liberal to gays and lesbians who have  earned the public respect. But a TG, I would be the first. Gays and lesbians dont need to change the mindset or physical, they dont need to take medication, they dont need to change their appperance. I knew in my heart that a TG would emerge with many new perspectives and  many old friends would not accept.

Still with my Alpha male mentality i thought confrontation was the way forward, the agressive beacon for tgs to be accepted and beware of me  for those that dont. I would stay in my city and fight for my rights. I would continue working for the family and would be the main speaker at events.

So HRT started, my mental perspective changed. I recognized that mutual respect and tolerance was my way forward. After all,  my friends knew me as a different person not the one I now knew I would be. My Alpha male side gradually faded and the topics with my male friends became uninteresting. I began to think for my peaceful life that I should respect, that I am no longer that person I used to be and had no right to enforce acceptance. I wanted a life away from the headlines and to be able to live as a female in a society that was gender neutral in another city. All this to be my secret and close friends and family and no media.

By the time I had my SRS date, I had decided that I would live in Bangkok and begin a new life. A city that was gender neutral and still in Asia my home. Knowing I would no longer live in my home city and yet wanted to make some very public announcements to stand up for the tg community, I agreed to a documentary by Vice Media, a TV interview and a full page interview in the newspaper.

So off to Bangkok, srs, ffs, ba and a new life as a female tg. Each day I feel blessed to have this amazing life. I have wonderful new friends and have allowed my empathy to emerge and establish a charity foundation to help Thais. I also speak and am a tg advocate. Very much part of the thai tg community and always there to help. I thought I was a positive person before but now I have exceeded that old me. Life is wonderful and I am ever so lucky to be a tg female living 2 lives in a lifetime.

I had 2 others who had srs at the time. One from Australia and one from USA.  Both have an amazing new life. One is getting married and the other has found her passion in music. Both are at peace being a female tg.

[Tatiana 79]

Hello Warlockmaker,
First off I would like to apologize for a previous response telling you that you present yourself stunning.

I believe you're far beyond presenting you don't need to present you already are yourself as a beautiful woman without any need to try and present you are so very much way past that.

I feel far from qualified from answering your question being that I'm just ready for HRT but know this my journey began well before HRT through merely the power of psychology and I already feel differently.
I think that everyone's level of transition is individual and different than anyone else's. I could compare it to a bus ride from New York to LA with LA meaning going all the way possible but some members might get off in Philly and that's enough for them depending on their circumstance such as large family grandkids and other things that can prevent you from going farther. Some feel comfortable going half the way like the Colorado or something where that's just right for them but I think a lot if not most once started feel strongly as their inner identity projects out
you my dear I surmise must feel the whole possibility as living female as strong as you can I must say you do pull it off extremely well.
The one trans friend I met up here finished her SRS as they called it then in 09 in Bangkok and really fell in love with the society there and almost didn't move back but I'm so glad she did to offer herself as an advocate for TG and human rights. She was more than satisfied with her operation in Bangkok and had 1 of the best doctors to do the surgery I don't know was name or if he is still doing it s because my friend had it done in 09. I will get his name if you want
You both sound very alike willing to sacrifice your own time to help others similar to myself and I see no other profession as rewarding or noble as helping others
Where ever you do go I'm sure you will make a significant impact with your very caring loving attitude it's kinda like you're the poster child of the ideal trans woman I'm sure you are highly inspirational when speaking about it to others.
It seems that you realize the true joy is in the giving not the receiving and I would bet my last dime that you will be very successful at this and will feel very rewarded for your very sweet caring attitude.
I think it's just logical to assume that you will feel that your transition success is always getting better as the percentage of any remnants still left in you decreases.
I hope someday this makes any sense to you because I feel like I'm trying to do math with einstein talking to you.

I'm sure you'll find fulfillment in whatever you choose to do.

All the best for your future I sure hope you can get the ultimate satisfaction out of life sharing your wisdom with others.
And thank you so much for sharing this with everyone here.

Best wishes love Tatiana

[Allison S]

I'm the same person. I identified as a gay male because I had romantic and sexual needs. As for gender identity, I let people take me for what they wish. I still do in a way, but now I'm running on mostly estrogen (I hope). I don't present "female", I guess that still puts me in the "male" box. Being in the beginning of my transition, I know I want my path to lead to womanhood. I'm not losing anything social or monetary in the process as far as I know.

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[krobinson103]

I transitioned not to win, or for any externally driven reasons. I transitioned because the person on the inside needed to get out and the other choice was to was simply stop living. There has been a large price for this. I have to work extra hard to even keep my job and l lose the advantages I had being a male teacher (easy to find a job and promotion). I lose my wife and most likely my house. My children will end up with parents who live apart. A high price indeed.

But, one worth paying a thousand times over. I see the person I am on the inside on the outside. I gain the ability to actually feel emotions, and I gain the ability to love myself for simply being me. That for me is more success than I ever expected. Any acceptance in society is a bonus. Because a life not authentically lived is to me not worth living.

[Gerri]

We are all special individuals but how did you imagine a successful  transition to be before the journey began and did this view change as you transitioned?

For me I remember thinking and even planning my future life as I contemplated this journey....Gays and lesbians dont need to change the mindset or physical, they dont need to take medication, they dont need to change their appperance. I knew in my heart that a TG would emerge with many new perspectives and  many old friends would not accept.

Still with my Alpha male mentality....

So HRT started, my mental perspective changed. I recognized that mutual respect and tolerance was my way forward. After all,  my friends knew me as a different person not the one I now knew I would be. My Alpha male side gradually faded and the topics with my male friends became uninteresting. I began to think for my peaceful life that I should respect, that I am no longer that person I used to be and had no right to enforce acceptance...

My perspective, hopes and dreams have changed as my journey has progressed.  Before starting and, while masquerading as an alpha binary male fighting with dysphoria, my outlook was fairly bleak and nihilistic. I felt that it was survival at any cost and that there really was no alternative available to me. 

However in 2009 in Chicago (17 years after I had first sought help) I was diagnosed as transgender and the first hint of a better life emerged.  Being away from family and having a career break I took the plunge.  Surely decisive action would get me to my destination that much quicker?  HRT, full FFS (andro really) followed but I lost control.  I was totally unprepared for an accelerated second adolescence, the reaction of my family and the face of a stranger in the mirror asking me "why I had done this to myself?"

Returning to Oz my wife recovered from her shock and sense of betrayal and together we sorted it out, well sort of.  She said she would leave if I ever had GCS and that I should keep my trans identity private.  However having seen 9 further psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors receiving the same diagnosis and facing rising dysphoria I restarted HRT.  My body responded faster than my head.  I was overwhelmed so responded by again stopping HRT and have both breasts reduced.  A quick solution, but not very smart.

Counselling started and I commenced low dose HRT and thought (hoped) that I had found my 'sweet spot'.  I connected with many kindred spirits and fellow travellers on Susan's (as Helen) and moderated for a while then convinced, that I was non binary, disappeared from sight and ceased a HRT.  Again not a good idea and again not very smart.  At my wife's urging I restarted HRT and started to learn to love myself and in turn recognise and to accept love from others.  As I became more comfortable I started to grow and came out to al family, then to all fiends then to colleagues and then to clients. I was now in a good place and working with my endo and therapist moved from a situation where I had been allowed to vary my HRT to one of increasing, then transition level dosage.  Given my 'on again, off again' history I committed to full dosage implants and moved on.

During this time complete hair removal had occurred and I had lost 50 lbs as I started to like myself, to feel more comfortable in my skin and to better understand and to express myself more authentically.  Then I reached 60, retired and started to train as a maker, abandoning the power suits and binary male business attire.  Now I felt with long hair light make up and a more accepting environment that I had arrived at my destination.  Not so ..

Now I envisage a less non binary future, official name change and potentially GCS... but the latter may still be a dream as my wife's position has not changed and I love her dearly.

So yes, my idea as to what would be a successful transition has continued to evolve and to change.  There have been setbacks, much joy and a life well lived.  I am hopeful that the next part of my journey will bring just as much joy.

Safe travels

Aisla


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[Ayla]

Apologies for my 'split personality'.  Gerri is me and aka Aisla.  I joined Tapatalk as Gerri ..  will fix this pronto

Love

Aisla

[warlockmaker]

Dear Tatiana, what a wonderful note. Someone once told me a dreamer is inspired by ideals and hopes, but wake up and it is remembered merely as a dream. Become a visionary and pursue those dreams and live a full life. My golden ruleof life, is not to harm others, respect their views and do good deeds each day.Our journey, as a tg,  into the unknown has no preconceived route and, as you said, the jurney has many paths. May you find a path that brings you fufillment and peace