Getting a Girlfriend

[warrioroflight]

Hello,

I'm new but I don't want to say much about myself. But I was wondering how FTM guys and lesbians can get girlfriends so easily, and I can't find a girlfriend to save my life. They all just say "I just wanna be friends"....

how do you do it? what's your magic secrets? It's not fair, I want a girlfriend.  But nobody likes me.

Are there any dating sites specifically for this?

Thanks.

(Edited so that future ppl who read it won't get offended and will understand what I'm trying to say)

[Northern Star Girl]

@warrioroflight
  Hello Warrioroflight,   I don't intend to derail your very first posting and your questions and concern that you stated but First Things First, then I will let you have your posting back.

I see that this is your very first posting and you have just become a member of Susan's Place so please allow me to give you my Official Welcome.

I am glad that you have taken the step to become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your  thoughts with other members here on your first posting and thread.

I am thinking that you may lots of questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with what you may be going through.

Please allow me to also WELCOME you to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace. 

Below, I posted Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[Northern Star Girl]

@warrioroflight 
***Oh, one more thing Warrioroflight, you will have more opportunity of meeting more members
that may have an answer to your questions and concerns if you can do one more thing,

Please stop by the  Introductions Forum  to formally introduce yourself to the other members that may not realize that you have just become a member ...so more members will know of your arrival and thus create more mutual and beneficial sharing opportunities for all.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

[MissyMay2.0]

Hello,

I'm new but I don't want to say much about myself. But I was wondering how FTM guys and lesbians can get girlfriends, girls that were born real girls (not a transwoman) so easily, and I can't find a girlfriend to save my life. They all just say "I just wanna be friends"....

how do you do it? what's your magic secrets? It's not fair, I want a girlfriend. I need one. I need someone. But nobody likes me.

Are there any dating sites specifically for this?

Thanks.

I think you just gotta put yourself out of there and get involved in things you enjoy and are passionate about, and through these activities you will meet women who have similar interests, and they will see you doing things that you are good at, and also highlights some of your strengths; self confidence is a very attractive quality.

[Amaki]

Warrioroflight meet Delusory Knight lol Love the name

Anyway to answer your question, I am in the same boat and from what I learned (now not all women trans or cis are the same naturally) is that all they really want is someone to be open but the level of openness depends on the person lol Ive more or less choose to stay single because I until recently I was afraid of people finding out my inner secret. Finding someone you can connect with is hard there is no secret way or answer.. if you find someone who can be honest with you, take it in strides but be honest with them too.

Now thats the long game, if your looking for the short game lol well I cant help you there some women are only looking for one night stand (sometimes last longer but yeah lol)

[Jin]

I believe you will find that most "transwomen" here consider themselves real girls. And so do I.

[PurplePelican]

how do you do it? what's your magic secrets? It's not fair, I want a girlfriend. I need one. I need someone. But nobody likes me.

And here lies the issue.. Women, generally, don't like needy people.

Best advice? Stop actively seeking a partner, I find they tend to wander in to my life when I'm not paying attention.

[FinallyMichelle]

Wow, just wow.

Trying not to be confrontational, trying very hard, but all women like confidence. Not arrogance but confidence. Maybe start there.

I personally am not attracted to women so I cannot say what one woman likes in another. I have had women try to pick me up since I transitioned, no idea why, and I never know what to say. Thanks? Seems so lame but what in the world would I do with a girl?

Still trying trying to avoid a confrontational tone but...

Why come here with your question?

[warrioroflight]

I came here because I thought maybe some Transmen could give me some advice. I'm afraid I've made a mistake in coming here.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, please don't take it personal.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here to say anything. I need to delete my account. I'm sorry.

[MissyMay2.0]

I came here because I thought maybe some Transmen could give me some advice. I'm afraid I've made a mistake in coming here.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, please don't take it personal.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here to say anything. I need to delete my account. I'm sorry.

I think some of the gals here are offended, because your statement seemed a little invalidating and exclusionary; and some of the guys here would have been offended if one of the gals made a similar statement.

[autumn08]

What works for me is;

1) Putting myself in situations where I can talk with people I'd potentially be interested in.
2) Trying to find what's interesting about those I talk to, and showing them my true self.
3) If I have an interesting conversation with someone and would like to have another conversation sometime, I ask them if they'd like to do so. If I'd discovered that we have a common interest, it could be while doing that.

Sorry, I don't have an special tips for FTMs and lesbians. However, I do agree with MissyMay that you may benefit from more self-confidence. What I mean is more understanding that you, like everyone else, are doing their best.

If you want to do this, continually build your awareness of your needs and others' needs, and meet others needs as much as you can, while having them meet your needs equally.

[Sno]

Well, we were all born boys or girls, or both, or neither and for most of us it took an awfully long time to work that out.

Now, it sounds to me like the friend zone is getting you down,but by studying our friends, we can learn a lot of really useful information, and friends are likely to put us right, with our interests at heart - so spend time with your girlfriends. Work out what they like in men, and look how you can apply that to yourself.

However, to get the best advice you're best looking out for our other FtMs, on our FtM board, or searching for MeTony, FTMax or Kylo amongst others - as identified FtM they may well have some useful suggestions, or maybe not - who knows. What they will do is welcome you to our FtM community, and help you feel more comfortable here.

Should you be here? Yes. Without a doubt.

(Hugs)

Rowan