Quote from: Dani on July 14, 2018, 10:31:24 PM
I have only talked to a few people who stopped their transition process mainly because they do not want to hurt their close personal relationships. They chose to live with gender dysphoria in deference to the people they love and want to keep close.
Transition has it's downsides and the main one is not everybody accepts us for what we are deep inside. They just see the outside of people like us and get upset with our changes in appearance associated with transition.
This covers a lot of it.
I started my transition over a year ago and now I'm seriously considering stopping. I didn't take my last T shot and don't intend to take one any time soon.
For me I have SO many reasons, and the pros are beginning to get outweighed in the de-transitioning favor.
Here are my personal reasons:
1. My issue seems to be more related to BDD than anything, because I am personally not happy as either gender, but I personally refuse to identify as fluid, neutral, neither - it seems like far too much work, not even for me but the people around me and I promised I would never become that person that lashes out over prnouns, etc.
2. My sentimentality and sense of stability is skewed by old fashioned views. I myself am progressive, but things have been bred into me, being raised in the south and in church. I don't think this personally have everything to do with this, because I am so open and I've long disassociated from religion and church. My family's, and my own, view of gender roles and binaries is set...That being said, I would much rather be the girl who shoots guns and drinks beer with her dad than the boy who's constantly teased for not being man enough - if that makes sense? I suck at being a girl and I suck at being a boy, no exceptions.
3. I don't want to miss out on things that I've always wanted. I've always wanted to get married, have children and have a family of my own. Yes, that can be done as a trans man, but it's so much harder...The child wouldn't be my own, finding love as a trans person is REALLY hard, because gay men want men, gay women want women, straight men want women, and even some bisexuals won't date trans people, so you're limited to extremely open minded hetero flexible individuals, some bisexuals and people who are pan/ace/demi - in some areas that can be impossible.
4. Health problems related to HRT - my blood pressure is getting ridiculous. In addition my hormones are back to being imbalanced and my dose can't be raised any higher. My mental and physical health is becoming a problem...I always feel ill, I can barely eat...I lost 10 lbs in a week because I just don't have an appetite and that only adds to the fact that I'm already not feeling great. I came close to fainting at least once a day a couple of weeks back.
5. My family didn't disown me or anything, they still love me, but I can tell it's caused both my mother and my grandmother a great deal of distress. (I'm very close to both of them.)
My mom is coping with the same things I am on the not getting married and having my own kids, etc....I'll never be a bride. I'm not her "baby" anymore. She can't seem to call me by Steven even though it's been over a year. My grandmother found out in the worst way possible and has just kind of ignored it, but has realized that there's a rift now because she refused to talk about it and that heavily narrows what I can talk to her about. She's told me that I can talk to her now, but I don't even want to...not about this kind of stuff, because I don't TOO much want what my mom and Nana say to affect it - bottom line it is MY happiness I have to try to obtain. It would just be easier for my family and my relationships with them, if I stopped. (Though my dad is the same as my mom, it has kind of improved our relationship, but that might just be because I'm doing so well on my own.)
6. With all of the above logic, it just seems easier for me to deal with being unhappy in the body I was born with and stop trying to change it because it may end up causing me more problems than it fixes.