Will transition be worth it?

[CarlyMcx]

FWIW, I resolved to start transition without any expectations about who I would be when I came out the other side.  I just knew who I wasn't.

So I started hormones without any preconceived notions, determined to see where the needle landed when it stopped spinning.

I ended up in the nebulous territory somewhere between girly girl and slightly butch lesbian.

I told me wife, If we have a recommitment ceremony, I'm not wearing a weddng dress.  That's not me.  A tailored suit jacket over a slinky blouse and skin tight pants, yeah, that's me.

If you are at that point where you feel you need to transition, don't be afraid.  You are becoming you—for the first time in your life.

[pamelatransuk]

I have alluded over and over again that I will never "pass" or even "blend" in and that I will always have to deal with being "clocked"....I could never really have a "truly female interaction" because I am obviously trans!!...however despite my constant self flagelation, and deep seated belief about my inability to blend in or pass I continued to transition.

Recently I discovered that All this was rubbish and was in no way based in reality...I am certainly never going to win any beauty contests but I find that I am consistently treated as female by both men and women.

This is a relatively new revelation and something I am still getting used to....I used to be able to walk into a room and have most heads turn and look at me...now I am in the main ignored as just another woman.

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

FWIW, I resolved to start transition without any expectations about who I would be when I came out the other side.  I just knew who I wasn't.

So I started hormones without any preconceived notions, determined to see where the needle landed when it stopped spinning.

If you are at that point where you feel you need to transition, don't be afraid.  You are becoming you—for the first time in your life.

After therapy I decided to go on HRT in February with a view to be certain (I was reasonably sure) that it would bring me benefits mentally and/or physically.

My main concern was and is that to which Liz refers - passing or blending in. So I must congratulate Liz both for overcoming that and for informing us that her previous fear was unfounded. That is most inspirational. Thank you.

To put it another way, I went on HRT with the same mindset as Carly. I simply know who I wasn't and had no preconceptions of how I would end up afterwards.

I have seen significant mental benefits - less aggravation, more relaxed, a sense of peace and some physical benefits - softer skin and breast buds. So I am just waiting for more of the latter. Transition will be for me but I did not know that before therapy and HRT put me on the right route.

Hope this helps

Pamela

[FinallyMichelle]

It may not be a question that one person can answer for another. For me the answer is without doubt yes.

It's all gone now. Not just the need or ache to be who I really am and have the world see me as such, but all of the garbage that came with it. The discomfort that I always felt trying to be something I am not in order to fit in. The fear that everyone would find out my terrible secret. The shame I felt for being the way that I am. The almost anger at women for getting to live a life that I never could.

I was just thinking about it recently, what has changed? At this point in my transition all of the highs of it are long over but for GRS. I have lived full time as a woman for 3 years, and unquestioned as a woman for over 2 years. Coming to this site keeps a lot of things fresh somewhat but it fades quickly into the humdrum of life and I don't think of it at all. So what has changed? I know the physical, mental and social changes, but how does all of that effect my internal dialogue, the me that no one can see and can't, that I have found, be quantified or compared to? What is better than my life before now that the highs are gone? The torment is missing. The fear, discomfort, shame, anger, need and ache are gone like they never existed at all.

Transition was not easy for me, almost all of the things we all fear might happen to us in transition happened. It hurt beyond what I could have imagined was possible. Yet I would do it again and again and again to get here, to live my life the way I do now and count myself lucky that I had the opportunity to do so.

Does that help?