A 'support' partner? When every time you talk you feel its totally onerous.

[Doreen]

Big word I know, a bad habit. Basically means they can't stand the topic.  Keep in mind I'm incredibly supportive when she goes on for hours about her issues & difficulties and do my best to be supportive and listen as attentively as borderling ADHD will allow me.  My mind wanders sadly.  She often wants me to stare at her the entire conversation too.

But when I bring up very real physical issues and ... personal problems its like they can't be bothered to listen.  To a single damn word.  Granted the issues never go away, and it tends to be somewhat repetitive, but I eventually get to the point I share nothing.. at all.. ever.

Yes I know some will encourage expanding my horizons.  Maybe a therapist, something I've been burned out on big time before.  Perhaps dating someone else... this presents a whole host of new complications.  I'm frustrated.

She's post op m2f.  I'm .. well I'm me with a whole host of complications she doesn't have to deal with or worry about.  Trust me I didn't ask for it.. and it is causing horrible issues daily with me. At least after years of referalls, phone tags, and ya she's supportive (sorta) of me finding answers.. but its met with frustration, setbacks, incompetent docs, and docs that frankly don't care to research or do ANY followup after they see me.  They don't want to deal with me either.  Too complicated most likely. 

I'm sad, frustrated, and have noone to talk to frankly.
I don't think a therapist will help.. what are they gonna do?  'Talk' to me about it? That'll solve nothing in the ends too.

Kind of at a ropes end other than this last life line I've obtained.   I don't give up. I'll NEVER EVER give up.  My life has been a series of baring my teeth at a hateful world and apathetic.  You'd think allegedly specialist physicians would actually be proactive in helping a patient in clear need.   Frankly its obvious if anyone's going to be a patient advocate, I'm the only one there for me.  Even my fellow nurses barely helped other than websites that were unhelpful in the end.

Maybe its cynicism right now, but its been a LONG TIME of increasing levels of pain and frustration.  Suicide is never an option, but sometimes I feel if I were to vanish, a lot of OTHER peoples issues would go away.  My ire is just so strong I'd come back as a poltergeist if at all possible and haunt the crap out of them. All of them.

Suggestions? advice?  I hate to sound hateful, but please put yourself in my shoes.  Now she's (my spouse) complaining about my 'loud typing' I simply can't win.  I'm honestly do my best to be nice to everyone. pleasant, listen to advice, don't present my irritation (frankly avoid it if at all possible).  You guys are the only ones that get the pleasure of seeing it.

Ideas? I'm willing to listen. Ugh.

[Charlie Nicki]

I'm sorry that you're going through that with your partner. My only advice would be to try to keep the communication open and let her know what you need from her, before the frustration gets bigger and more difficult to handle.

[Rachel]

My ex had an issue with the sound of my typing when I was on Susan's but no other site or computer activity. It was a control thing.

I am divorced and never wanted that to happen. There were a lot of negative behaviors I put up with. I have a low self esteem so perhaps I put up with the behaviors because I valued the relationship more than the mental, emotional and physical abuse. Perhaps I some how needed the negative feedback as my spouse needed to provide the negatives actions.

I stayed in my relationship because I accepted the negatives. Now that I have been free of that negative behaviors for a while I will never allow that to happen again.

You owe it to yourself and to your spouse be provide constructive feedback. It is difficult to change the needs in a relationship especially if they are not providing benefit to both equally. You owe it to yourself to make positive change in the relationship and not be taken advantage of. Being married is not an excuse to be taken advantage of.

[HappyMoni]

Doreen,
   I hear your frustration. You know, maybe you need to let the ones who are insensitive hear it loud and clear.
I'm not big on confrontation either, but once in a while people need to be told in forceful terms that there behavior is hurting you. Figuratively, grab em by the collar, stare em in the eyes, and get them to step out of their own little self centered world for a minute. Patient people tend to assume that everyone has an empathetic quality. Sometimes you have to let them know you lost your patience.
Moni