loose ends from the past

[HappyMoni]

Is there anybody from your past that you would like to know about you being trans who you haven't told? Is there a good reason to make the effort to reach out or is it better to just leave it alone? 

I have been thinking about an old college roommate of mine from many years ago. Part of me just wants to tie up a loose end after so many years. I shared a period of my life with this guy and he doesn't even know who I ever really was. Is that silly?

[SadieBlake]

Makes sense to me, having never involved myself in a single high school alumnae activity, I connected with them last month and I think I'll attend 45th reunion next spring. My new name is now registered in their rolls.

[SailorMars1994]

Makes total sense. I would love to reconnect to people that never met Ashley. I would love to go to the Quinte area in Ontario (high school years) and Victoria British Columbia (where I lived for the first 14 years). I have reconnected with old friends from both places but they haven't seen me in real life. However both will take a lot of work. My school years in both British Columbia and Ontario are marked with me already be "different" and I have lots of scars from being bullied in addition to having to put on the wanna be tough "boy" mask and even become a bully and stuff myself. I am worried I would end up a target. Unlike then I can defend myself now, but still it is something that plays on me.

[Kylo]

I've done this but it didn't work out very well. People can and do just move on so completely from others when they part ways it's no longer important to them whereas it's obviously kind of important to you, and that can just feel insulting or a downer when they don't consider it as profound as you do, or have almost no interest. There's a risk of it if you just contact someone out of the blue and tell them something as sensitive as that.

[LizK]

Just after I started living fulltime I went to a Nursing class reunion. I had not seen many of these people for well over 30 years. They just accepted me for who I was...a couple of them knew about "Liz" when I was working with them but the vast majority had no idea...heck I had no idea.

They were great with me although I had warned them how apprehensive I was about going and they took care of me. I really do understand that need to reconnect with people from the past....I was sat here thinking about people from my past and all I want to do is shudder because it reminds me of the state of my head at that point in my life...most times its not pretty!! But no its not silly at all...I guess it depends on how big your curiosity is and what lengths you are prepared to go to.......??

Take care

Liz

[ErinWDK]

People that are in your past are in your past.  There was some reason you moved on and, as others have noted, these persons  most likely have moved on as well.  If you happen to run into someone by chance, and want to sort of reconnect or reminisce, that is fine.  But to cold call someone with your news is taking a chance on serious rejection.

Some people know both of me.  Some people won't recognize the one of me they don't "know."  Life is complicated enough.

[HappyMoni]

   I don't have much emotional investment in his reaction really. It is kind of like setting the record straight in a sense. Well, at the time I was 'super straight' myself. He was big into pot, into NORMAL, the organization, and if I am not mistaken, might have been interested in me. He kept asking me if I would ever have sex with a guy. Of course then, I was terrified that someone might guess I was into the feminine side of life, so I 'manned up' my responses. lol It would be nice in this one case to set the record straight. Of course, there is a small part of me that enjoys blowing people's minds too. Heehee! or is that 'Sheeshee'? Honestly I would like to know how his life turned out also. Finding him might be tough though. He isn't on Facebook. 

[JudiBlueEyes]

Kylo has it right Monica.  Let sleeping dogs lie!

[kathb31]

I have come out to most everyone in my life now. One of the last people was
an old college buddy of mine. I really hesitated calling him since I had not
talked to him in years and didn't know how he would respond to finding out
that I am now Kath. The call went fairly well. He was shocked but pretty supportive
so I agreed to come over to Seattle and visit. Seeing him was kind of awkward
especially when we went out for pizza and he was using the wrong pronouns.
At the end of my visit we were still friends and wanted to see each other again.
I can't say what you should do but I did have a good experience with a close friend
from my past.

[KathyLauren]

It would be nice in this one case to set the record straight. Of course, there is a small part of me that enjoys blowing people's minds too.

I too feel the desire at times to "set the record straight".  It's like finishing an unfinished story.  Yes, and I totally get the idea of blowing people's minds.    It is like coming out eventually becomes so easy that it's fun and you want to do more of it.   

There is a Facebook group dealing with the plane I flew in the Air Force, and a few people I knew or heard of are on it.  I do not discuss my personal stuff on the group, but my coming-out post is public on my own page, so anyone can confirm any suspicions they have.  I have come out privately to a few people I knew from back then, mostly with no response.  Oh well.  I have been contacted by people I didn't know well, wondering about me, and I have explained who I was and am, with happy results. 

My dates are suspicious for anyone familiar with Air Force history, because some of my service pre-dates the graduation of the first official female pilot.  She is a member of the group, and, although we have not corresponded directly, I know she has figured it out.  She 'liked' a story of mine that pre-dated her own graduation, so I presume she checked out my page to learn what was up.

I like the idea that some people from way back then know the truth about me.  It brings some healing to my memories of a time when I was both at my best and the most messed-up of my life.