Any way to know if you'll pass before starting HRT? (And another question)

[TsukiCat]

Hi guys n gals, so I've been quite active here over the last few months and do read a my of other threads, I just never normally have anything to add. Last time I posted I was really struggling to decide if I should transition. I still am.

My question really is there anyway to tell if you'll pass or just be masculine pre HRT? I doubt it's gonna be that easy tho lol. I posted some makeup pics of me on an earlier thread but when I look I still see a bloke, this does cause dysohiria for me personally. While I shouldn't care, I really do and it terrified me I'll be obvious.
I actually heard that your not even guaranteed facial changes or even body changes? How true is that? Is there a chance no fat distribution will occur facially? I'm aware bones won't reshape obviously, I asked this before but does anything happen with your arms? Will it still be clearly manly arms?

My additional question, call me paranoid, is to do with animals. I read online that some hate crimes towards trans people have targeted there pets. I have cats, and while not everyone is going to understand this they are my babies. I never want kids, they are my kids.theres a lot of d*** heads where I live. No way in hell am I doing anything if it puts my babies at risk. I just want to know what everyone knows about these kind of things? Is it common? Or even a slight risk (it wont be worth the risk at all to me) it's so twisted people do this stuff!

Thanks anyone, yall probs gonna be sick of me whinging about passing even before hrt all the time.

[TsukiCat]

Just a note on q2, if anyone has any experience or knowledge of this happening please be honest with me ( i just thought that sime may play it down in order for me to not give up on transistioning). Its something i really do need to be knowing about. Thanks

[Quinn]

I also have cats that are my babies, my human children are grown and out of the house . I invested in cat fencing for the back yard so my cats are safe and cannot wander. I never let them out the front. I can just open the back slider and they can come and go from the backyard to house as they please.

In this manner I know my furry children are always safe

[MissyMay2.0]

My cat babies stay in the house; there are too many things that can cause them harm if they roam around on their own outside.

[KathyLauren]

Regarding HRT, there are no guarantees.  You might end up drop-dead gorgeous, or nothing at all might happen, or anything in between.  Most people get some facial changes.

Passing involves much more than the face.  It equally involves body shape, posture, movement, mannerisms, and especially voice.  So if your HRT results are less than ideal in the face, you can compensate in other areas and still pass.

Regarding pets, be cautious, but don't over-worry.  Yes there are some looneys out there, but, really, not as many as your worst fears might imagine.  It you are worried, keep cats indoors and walk dogs on a leash.  (I'm biased: I am not a fan of free-range pets anyway.)  I have heard of nutters harassing trans people.  I have never heard of them harassing their pets.

[MaryT]

I don't know about the HRT but about the cats, I'll mention that even those belonging to cis people are always in danger while prowling.  I agree with those who recommended some kind of confinement.

Many cats are run over.  Some are killed by dogs or injured by other cats and I've read that in the US, some pets are killed by coyotes which are now widespread.  In addition, some humans believe that cats damage their gardens somehow.  My current neighbour is always complaining about neighbourhood cats.  My family only ever had one cat but it was shot dead by a neighbour.

Some cats are even "adopted" by other families while out and about, and I saw a court case on TV about one such family who then neutered and confined the cat.

I gather that neutering can help a cat with a more sedentary lifestyle and if you e.g. Google "cat calmer" a number of products will be shown.

[TsukiCat]

The cat argunent is one that can go on for ages as I'm one of the people who' strongly believe they should have the freedom to go out n about, not a fan of indoor cats, in think they should be aloud in and out. I do feel strongly about this so don't think it's something in should debate on here.

[Kirsteneklund7]

Hi TuskiCat,
I saw your posted picture. I believe you have much better than most feminine potential. In your photo there isn't the strong male facial features such as heavy jaw, pronounced brow bossing, large chin and nose. Masculizing of the face tends to continue in adulthood - even after puberty.
Also I think you are 5'8" which is a very passable height.
If you start HRT I think you have a very good chance of very good results because you are starting from an excellent beginning point.
Best wishes, Kirsten.

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[TsukiCat]

HI Kristine, thanks that gives me some hope. I'm back on track with wanting to transition if I can convince myself I'll pass. Speak in of passing your profile pic looks amazing!

Turns out I measured myself wrong and I'm 5'7 so that's a little better too.

[gracefulhat]

Hi TsukilCat. I have something to add about the arms, and even your body. If you really want to look more feminine pre hrt then there are 2 major things. 1. Go vegan 2. Yoga. Enough said. If you are interested in either I will post you the places on the net to go for more info. By the way, I am almost 36 years old and pre hrt. I currently weight 150 pounds, down from 250 pounds. If I can do it, so can you.

[big kim]

No way of knowing but a rough guide is that good looking guys make good looking girls. You're still young & cute so there's a pretty good chance of turning out good. I don't pass, I'm over 6' tall, big built & rough Lemmy voice but I'm accepted.

[DawnOday]

I can provide you a photo that I can adjust the features to approximate what you might look like after FFS. Send me a pm with your photo attached and I'll get that back to you asap. Your picture will not be posted by me. Preferably a well lit portrait.


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[DawnOday]

I'm 6'4" have size 14 feet. Have lost about 80 lbs down to 220. Yes I get giggles. Got a few tonight. But what really matters is how  you accept yourself. I guarantee you that if you like what you see, so will everyone else. A smile is a big help.
Tomorrow is our Pride Day in Tacoma and I'm going to rock.

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[TsukiCat]

Hi Dawn that would literally be amazing if it's no trouble. I'm out atm at Rotherham pride so I'll send it you a bit later if that's ok! Thanks

[gracefulhat]

I'm 6'4" have size 14 feet. Have lost about 80 lbs down to 220. Yes I get giggles. Got a few tonight. But what really matters is how  you accept yourself. I guarantee you that if you like what you see, so will everyone else. A smile is a big help.
Tomorrow is our Pride Day in Tacoma and I'm going to rock.

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I know this is off subject but we were just at Tacoma visiting a few weeks ago from Indiana. Omg Washington State is the most beautiful place! Especially Mount Raineer. We may move out there soon, there or Lakewood.

[Allison S]

I really see women of all shapes, sizes, faces and porportions. I'm not saying that to make you or myself feel better. It's just what I noticed... I don't mean to be harsh, but we can't have body transplants... it's a matter of do you accept yourself as you are or will you do something about what makes you unhappy?
There's no right or wrong. Just excuses [emoji4]

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[Northern Star Girl]

I'm 6'4" have size 14 feet. Have lost about 80 lbs down to 220. Yes I get giggles. Got a few tonight. But what really matters is how  you accept yourself. I guarantee you that if you like what you see, so will everyone else. A smile is a big help.
Tomorrow is our Pride Day in Tacoma and I'm going to rock.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

@DawnOday
Dear Dawn:  I am very excited for you regarding your 80 lb weight loss... and the fact that you fully accept yourself as you are.   
Yes indeed, a big smile is something that I have on my face just about all the time... it is very disarming to those that might want to be insulting or rude.

Enjoy your Pride Day activities, and of course   P O I D H    ....  (Pictures Or It Didn't Happen)
But obviously only post pictures if you feel comfortable doing so.

Your updates are always a welcome thing to read and to see.
Thank you for sharing.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[CarlyMcx]

Tsukicat, you really need to stop worrying about being passable if you start hormones and start worrying about what will happen if you don't.

I only went through half of male puberty when I was 14, and when I was 17 or 18 I looked a lot like you do now.  I was 5'6" and 120 lbs.  it says so right on my first driver's license.

When I turned 20, the second half of puberty hit.  I gained 25 lbs, all in the chest and shoulders.  I grew 2 inches taller.  I got a lot hairier and smellier.  My face got bonier.  I got three creases in my forehead.

HRT corrected a lot of that, FFS will fix some of the rest, but I cry all the time over not having been able to transition when I was 19.

HRT actually does come with one guarantee:  it is guaranteed that if you do not transition now, then change your mind later, the results from later will never be as good as what you will get if you start now.

You assume that living as a man will be better than being a nonpassable transgender.  As a man, I always had friends.  I had the same geeky crew of bros since high school.  I still have them and I am 55 now.  I had and have lots of friends in other places too.  I was always successful.  I studied aerospace engineering in college and after college I went to law school and became a lawyer.  I was a successful amateur bicycle racer.  I drove Lamborghinis and Ferrari's on the race track.  My personal ride was an Acura NSX.  I married two beautiful women and I am still married to the second one.  I have two great kids.  Both of them are lawyers.

But inside, I was never happy.  And now I am.  Even though I am not completely passable.  Even though I get some stares when I walk down a courthouse hallway.  Happiness does not come from what you have.  But you try to make yourself happy with external things when you have gender dysphoria.  Happiness comes from within.  And no matter what happens outside of me now I hold my head and shoulders high because my happiness shines from within.

Now, one more thing.  I know a sixteen year old girl. Cisgender and stunningly beautiful.  Half white, half Asian, and working as a model in Asia now.  But no one asked her to her high school prom, because she can't carry on a conversation.  Talk to her and all you get is one word answers.  Being beautiful, or passable, will not get you friends.  Being yourself will get you friends for life.

Stop worrying, and follow your heart.

[Stevi]

CarlyMcx,

Good answer! Good answer!

Your first hand account  to illustrate the outcome of "playing it safe" and not transitioning for fear you will not get it perfect is soboring.  No body gets it perfect.  Go for the best possible outcome.  Being unhappy just can't be the best outcome.

Stevi

[Virginia]

"passing" means that your voice will sound completely female

a rough guide is that good looking guys make good looking girls.

it all comes down to frame size

to look more feminine pre hrt then there are 2 major things. 1. Go vegan 2. Yoga.

I think these three posts pretty much sum up my own experience. I'm 5'10" weigh 146 pounds, have a small frame with an athletic build. My female alter had nailed her voice before she stepped out the door and had zero problems with people knowing she was a woman a year before starting HRT when I was 50 in 2010.

I think transitioners 60's and 70's actually have as good a chance as those who start as teenagers. Their post menopausal peers have almost the same level of testosterone running through their veins as alot of men that age so gender variations tend to dissipate. The people in the middle have a bigger challenge.

If you are looking to be pretty. that is a different thing altogether. Our perceptions of beauty are heavily dependent on symmetry and proportion, the reason good looking guys and good looking girls are "good looking" in the first place, and why good looking guys make good looking girls.