Part time social transition

[Russngrl]

Hi!

I haven't found anybody doing a "part time social transition" for want of a better term.  I'm 68 and married.  I will lose my wife if I transition to fulltime. 

So, I'm on spiro and electrolysis is complete.  Very lucky that I pass easily without estrogen.  My "part time social transition" consists of volunteering.  I'm a receptionist at a non-profit, and have an interview coming up at a museum to be a docent.

So, for now, this is my solution to the trap I'm in.  I want (need) to fully transition but don't want to live without my wife.  It would destroy me to break.

I'm very lucky to be able to pass as I do and do this part time thing without being misgendered.

Anybody else doing something similar?

Cheryl

[Lynne]

I am doing something very similar for years now. I usually present as female everywhere except work or when I anticipate that I'll need to show my ID.
After these years I have a wardrobe full of women's clothes and a shoe cabinet full of high heels. I also bought quite a lot of makeup to have plenty to practice with.
Since I didn't buy any male clothes in the recent years my 'male' presentation is quite androgynous nowadays. You know, once the genie is out of the bottle...
Just like you I'm lucky that I can pass without estrogen after laser hair removal(if I don't have to speak for a prolonged time).

To tell the truth, it's getting really hard to function normally nowadays when I have to pretend to be male. The last few years I worked on getting my career in order but this process was slowed down very much by my dysphoria which can be really bad when one is surrounded with young and beautiful women at work while wishing to be one of them.

[Russngrl]

Absolutely Lynn.  I come alive as a woman.  As a male I'm feel like a lifeless lump.   I'd start fulltime right now if I wouldn't lose my wife.

Transition would likely be without estrogen because I had a small stroke 3 months ago and my docs feel it would be too risky to take it.  I did take a low dose for nine months or so and have developed enough in the hips that I fill out the size 8 slacks I just bought.  They also gave me an A cup.   Now (crossing fingers) if the spiro will help me keep it.

Practice your voice - it's liberating to speak freely.  I never get gendered male over the phone in my receptionist job and do get gendered female at times.   All you ladies out there, check out femalevoicdclub.com.

[Jenny1969]

I am absolutely doing something similar. I have been married for 30 years and I am now transitioning without the knowledge of my wife.....I will eventually tell her......when the time is right.    I have a place where I go to change into "Jenny" when I leave the house and than back again before going home.  So far so good!!    And before you ask how I explain the physical changes...I have a whole back story.    Estrogen is often prescribed for Prostate treatment.......estrogen cause breast growth in men.......   So far so good.    I'm pretty sure I can get away with this for a bit longer.

[Lynne]

Absolutely Lynn.  I come alive as a woman.  As a male I'm feel like a lifeless lump.   I'd start fulltime right now if I wouldn't lose my wife.

Transition would likely be without estrogen because I had a small stroke 3 months ago and my docs feel it would be too risky to take it.  I did take a low dose for nine months or so and have developed enough in the hips that I fill out the size 8 slacks I just bought.  They also gave me an A cup.   Now (crossing fingers) if the spiro will help me keep it.

Practice your voice - it's liberating to speak freely.  I never get gendered male over the phone in my receptionist job and do get gendered female at times.   All you ladies out there, check out femalevoicdclub.com.

Uh, stroke, I hope you have made a complete recovery. My father had two strokes and I'm afraid that I might be susceptible to it too.
Yes, voice is my priority and one of two things that are blocking my way to full-time. And while I would really like the effects of HRT too, my daily life is affected way more by my voice. People usually don't display their breasts at work but we do speak a lot at meetings. I can fake the breasts or the hips but cannot fake the voice so I would go full-time if I had the voice down and at the same time I would start HRT to fill out the bras eventually.
The other thing that prevents me from going full-time is that our government effectively stopped processing name and gender marker change applications and there is no guaranteed solution in sight, so at the moment trans people can't change their documents in our country.

[Russngrl]

Thanks for the concern, Lynn.  About 98% recovered.   It was in my balance centers.  Now, the only time I have balance issues is when I get REALLY tired when I work out.  Everyday life, nothing.

[Lynne]

Thanks for the concern, Lynn.  About 98% recovered.   It was in my balance centers.  Now, the only time I have balance issues is when I get REALLY tired when I work out.  Everyday life, nothing.

That sounds manageable, hopefully it will get even better with time.

[Jessica_K]

This is exactly my position too, 66 and I am dressed and accepted female everywhere except when I am home and with clients. My partner knows I am trans female but cannot except me dressed as such and so have to stay male to her. My work as a electronics and firmware designer is so male dominated that I would most likely lose my clients as I do not work for any company.
I dream almost constantly of being full time female and finding it harder to maintain this duality.
As said the cork is out of the bottle.

Love Jessica