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Faceapp and the destruction of my already broken wall

Started by AprilJeane, July 18, 2018, 01:45:16 PM

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AprilJeane

Ok so the last couple of days have not been good days for me. The feeling of being trapped is stronger than ever and to desire to something about it has increased exponentially. However, the ability and timing to do more is still out of reach

To get to the point, Faceapp. I discovered this app about 8 months ago and the first time I used it I broke down crying almost uncontrollably. The only other time I felt like that was when I was 12 years old and discovered that it was possible to actual change genders. I knew before that I was not in the right body but it wasn't until I was 12 and first really learned of transgender, saw actual photos, and read real peoples stories that I knew it was possible to change genders and I cried out of pure joy. That was a monumental day in my life. Faceapp brought about that same feeling, that one pictured shatter the already hole filled wall I had built like a wrecking ball hitting and already several damaged building. The picture that came back was how I always envisioned my true self looking since I was a child. Now I'm not totally naïve and I know that it's photo shop and in really life results would be different. However, it did put an actual picture to how I feel I should look and it was one that could be within reach. I found that looking at it both makes me happy and sad because I'm not able to truly be her yet. However the happiness it brings out weights the sadness.
I know Faceapp can be a sensitive topic but I just wanted to get some other opinions and if anyone has used it with positive or negative results.

V/R
April
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davina61

TBH didn't make a lot of difference to me. Still on the up side for you its some thing to look towards when its time.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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ErinAscending

I tried it once.

I thought it was a cool little novelty but I also just kinda knew it isn't going to turn out like that when I start HRT and let it sink in and maybe even get some kind of FFS or something.  I just knew reality would be different.  Shrugged my shoulders and moved on to new and better (Yea!) and other more depressing thoughts (Boo!).  I have plenty of thought to occupy me these days.  Ha Ha

Incidentally, it occurred to me that the modified picture looked remarkably like my aunt.  Like I said, it was a novelty.
To each their own experience, however, and I could see how it may mean more for someone else.  If it helps you to be able to see the you inside when you have to look in the mirror and don't...  Then, in my opinion, that's great!
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. - Oscar Wilde
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Bari Jo

I used to be addicted to FaceApp and other gender change apps.  I have a thread about it under Passing.  For a variety of reasons I stopped though.  One of the female options was replaced and the replacement looked nothing like me.  Then as I started going part and full time, I prefer an app called Pretty Makeup.  This doesn't change your facial structure, instead just putting makeup on your own face.  This is a great education on what works with you and what doesn't.  It's helping with my confidence too, as now I know exactly what makeup genders me correctly, and I can achieve too.

Another website is how-old.net.  I make changes and then test on there.  If I'm gendered correctly, I'm on my way. Anyway, good luck to you.

Bari Jo

Ba
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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AprilJeane

Bari, i'l have to check out that app. It sounds like it is better and it will actually help with makeup. Thank you
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steph2.0

Quote from: AprilJeane on July 18, 2018, 01:45:16 PMI know Faceapp can be a sensitive topic but I just wanted to get some other opinions and if anyone has used it with positive or negative results.

I understand exactly what you've gone through with FaceApp, April. It is at least 50%, if not more, of the reason for my big meltdown and coming out to my wife, and the start of the journey I'm on now. So I guess you might say that initially it felt like negative results, but after all this time it is overwhelmingly positive.

It's good you're keeping reality in mind, as I did. I knew also that it was only a loose approximation of the final results, but it was enough. My wall, just as yours, was quite fragile to start with, and it crumbled quite easily.

Sit back, keep reality in mind, and make your decisions based on your intellect and not your emotions, and hopefully with the help of a good gender therapist. Best of luck!


Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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